How To Show Up with Honor, Mindfulness, Resilience (387)

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to "Whole Again," the show that's here in support of the person you're becoming and your quest to live a meaningful life. And we're two days off of Memorial Day weekend here in the States. So if you went to a parade, I hope it was entertaining. If you went to a picnic, I hope it was delicious, and if you just sat around and watched the playoffs, I hope your team won.</p>
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<p>But as someone who's coming to you from the metropolitan New York area, I will say, "Let's go Knicks." So here we are, a few days after a somber holiday. In fact, back in my corporate days when we had three-day weekends, I would send a voicemail when those were a thing to my thousand-person team, inviting them to pause, breathe, reflect during the weekend.</p>
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<p>The message was one part gratitude for all their efforts over the last few months. It was also a chance to encourage them to have some detox time, some time to enjoy connection with family and friends, but I also asked them to reflect, reflect on where they were in their careers or just how they were showing up in life And the thing is, is that we can pause, breathe, reflect on that topic really any day.</p>
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<p>A three-day weekend gives us a little space to do that because that extra day off gives us just enough space to sit for a moment and reflect, or maybe even go for a mindful walk. Now, if you've been a member of our Wholegang community for a while, first off, thank you for doing so. You already know most of my story, and this year is a big year for me.</p>
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<p>I celebrate the 25th anniversary of my last bad day, my near-death cycling accident. I was out in New Mexico for a company off-site meeting that ran from Monday to Friday. Most of my colleagues brought their golf clubs. Some of the women colleagues were going to the spa. I brought my bicycle, and that morning of July 11th, a Ford Explorer going 40 miles an hour crossed the center line of the road and hit me head-on.</p>
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<p>My trauma team told my wife they have no idea how I survived And I think if my count is in the ballpark, about 50 people were responsible for saving my life that day. When the call to 911 was made, there was no pre-certification questions. They didn't ask me who I voted for, who I loved, where I was from, how much money I had If I prayed, none of it.</p>
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<p>They simply answered the call and came. They showed up to a perfect stranger And they saved my life. All the people at the scene of the accident, my flight crew, and all the people at the trauma center, they all worked together. Again, no one asked me any pre-certification questions. They weren't sizing me up, if you will.</p>
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<p>They showed up, and if they didn't, there's no podcast today. None of this happens. And over this weekend, I've been thinking about those that we honor over the Memorial Day holiday and how they stood up for people they never met, complete strangers, people in towns where they've never been before, with lives they would never know.</p>
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<p>Speaking different languages, having different customs, praying to different gods</p>
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<p>And they gave everything that they had. They gave their lives for their safety, their freedom. It's the ultimate act of standing up for other people, and we generally do a pretty good job of having ceremonies and parades, having TV specials honoring our fallen heroes. But the next day, what do we do? Or in this particular case, because this episode is being released two days after Memorial Day, what do we do two days from Memorial Day?</p>
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<p>Do we go back to our same behavior, that behavior that happens to be dividing us, not helping us come together? Or Does sharing a Memorial Day holiday give us a reason to think differently about how we might stand up for each other? How we might stand up for our neighbor who doesn't look like us, or someone who prays to a different god, or loves a different type of person, or may not have the same resources we do?</p>
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<p>How do we stand up for those that could use more support? Those who are struggling to make ends meet, to put food on their table, or to provide shelter for their family In this moment that we all share, how do we wish to show up for each other? And I will say this, as a straight white dude, I don't have to have a podcast on this topic because the world generally was built by people who look like me for people who look like me.</p>
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<p>So I could come up with an episode about a handful of other different topics, but the thing is, is that we live in a time right now where differences feel threatening to a lot of people. I think it's because we're scared. There's fear. There are people trying to divide us for their own profit, and they know that fear sells, divisiveness sells, the us versus them battle, all that, that sells.</p>
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<p>That makes money</p>
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<p>So it's easy to stay in our lane and worry about ourselves. I just gotta live my best life and block out everything else. Stay in my feed, stay in my comfortable corner That's a natural impulse. We're human after all. But in our Kintsugi wisdom, it guides us to show up, to do the hard thing. It says that the cracks are not the end of the story.</p>
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<p>When it breaks, that's not the end. When the gold gets poured in, when the urushi sets the glue, that repair, that is beauty, and it doesn't happen by itself. It takes effort It takes someone to do the work to heal the cracks. It takes someone to stand up for others. That's how we heal and connect. That's how we create the beauty of our kintsugi.</p>
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<p>And I would say it does take not only, but it does take people who look like me to use their voice to create a better tomorrow for all of us, not just some of us. And I will say that prior to my accident, I probably wouldn't be someone who would do that, to use their voice, because things were quite comfortable.</p>
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<p>But through my experience, and I don't think someone has to go through something as extreme as I went through, but through my experience, I had people showing up from all different parts of the country, all different parts of the world, people who didn't look like me, act like me, dress like me They were all different.</p>
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<p>I got blood, like literally got blood donated to me by people who don't look like me, act like me, and pray like me. I'm only here because of their blood donations. They are now part of me So as we think about heading into the summer, Memorial Day weekend is sort of the unofficial start to summer</p>
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<p>I want to challenge us, not just you, all of us, to reflect on how can we do a better job of showing up for one another</p>
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<p>How can it be a way to honor those who have fallen, who gave their life to complete strangers? We honor them in such a great way. I think another really meaningful way to honor their sacrifice is to continue to show up for those that are not like us. And we don't have to do huge grand gestures. It can be small acts of kindness, a ripple of compassion or empathy, holding the door open for someone else, letting people know that they're heard and seen and appreciated, 'cause ultimately we all want that.</p>
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<p>We all want to feel like we belong, that we're worthy, that there's value to what we bring to the dance. So how do we show up better for each other? Yes, there will always be people that will wish to divide us for their own profit and gain We can allow them to do that, or we can use our energy to find a way to come together.</p>
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<p>This is where our strength lies. When we're connected, that is our strength, just like Kintsugi teaches us And when we're strong, we can do hard things And we have many hard things in front of us to do So together, the challenge is to show up for each other. Not just the people who look like us, who pray like us, who dream like us, but to show up for all of us so we can create a better tomorrow, not just for some of us, but for all And that's a wonderful way to put a ripple of goodness into the world.</p>
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<p>As always, thank you for listening and being part of our community. If this episode resonated with you and you think someone else might enjoy listening to it, I hope you'll share it with them. I also hope that you'll tune in tomorrow for our next episode of my new series that I'm calling A Perfectly Imperfect Union.</p>
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<p>I'm talking to 102 people across all 50 states and the District of Columbia on their reflections as America turns 250. And until then, let's celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>