Growth Mindset Tip #35 - The Wisdom of Maya Angelou

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Hello Again, a show that's here in support of the person you're becoming and a meaningful life. And since it's Friday, you know all this year I'm sharing little tips, things I've learned along the way since my last bad day, the day that sparked all of this, to help me live a meaningful life and step into the person I'm becoming.</p>
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<p>Now, these tips I'm sharing, and we're up to number 35 this week, totally incredible, I know they're not all going to fit your recipe. You see, I believe we all have our own Toll House cookie recipe to create a meaningful life. And some of the things I've shared might be ingredients, if you will, that you wanna put into your cookie recipe.</p>
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<p>And others are like, "Ah, Michael, not so much." If that's the case with this one, simply leave it on the table. Leave it behind. Next week I'll share another, and that might be a bit more on target. This month is a birthday month for me, so in September, all the tips will converge around poetry. That's right, poetry.</p>
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<p>When I was younger, like in grade school, I thought poetry was so lame. Like, why does anyone do it? Why does anyone read it? Why do we study it? I really hated poetry. But after my accident, poetry helped ground me. It provided lessons in a different way. So all this month, all the different tips will center around poetry.</p>
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<p>And I'll highlight a few of my favorite poets. So for number 35, it will be Maya Angelou You might have already picked up I'm a fan of Maya's if you've been listening to my series, A Perfectly Imperfect Union. If you haven't, I'll let you know that in the intro, I quote from her poem, A Human Family. The poem highlights various physical, cultural, personal differences with people all over the world.</p>
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<p>We're all just a little bit different. We're all perfectly imperfect. At the same time, though, it emphasizes our shared humanity with its famous refrain, "I note the obvious differences in the human family, but we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." That piece of that refrain is part of my opening to A Perfectly Imperfect Union Is something I carry with me, that no matter where I've traveled, what always is true is that we are more alike, my friends, than unalike.</p>
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<p>But there's something that she shared with Oprah back in 1997, so this is before my accident that occurred in 2001, and it's something that we quote here often in our household. She shared with Oprah, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." So often we want people to be how we want them to be, and in today's world, when shocking people do shocking things, I am quite surprised that we get so shocked because they've told us exactly who they are the first time.</p>
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<p>Shocking people will continue to do shocking things. But what's in our control is whether or not we react and add fuel to their fire, their shocking fire, or do we respond in a different way, a way that's grounded, stable, and purposeful? There are plenty of people in the world looking for attention. They can rev us up pretty easily, and they've told us exactly who they are since the first time.</p>
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<p>To expect them to behave any differently is a fool's errand. Now, to be fair, sometimes we'll meet someone new and they're having an off day. We might not know why. We only see the tip of the iceberg within them. We see the behavior. One would say they're not making a very good first impression. What mindfulness teaches us is to hold things loosely.</p>
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<p>So yes, they're telling us for the first time that they might be this way or that way My advice is to hold that loosely. Hold it, but don't cling to it. Maybe they need a second chance to make a first impression. But going back to Maya's quote or advice that she shared with Oprah, so often we don't practice acceptance.</p>
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<p>Acceptance isn't about tolerating shocking behavior. It's about accepting what is real, that people show up in this way or that way. It's who they are. With acceptance, we can ground ourselves in reality. Instead of trying to change the person into the way we think they should be or ought to be, we can simply accept them for who they are and then make a determination if this is someone we want in our peloton.</p>
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<p>So there you have it, tip number 35, words of wisdom from the great Maya Angelou. From the fact that indeed we are more alike, my friends, than unalike, to her collection of poems and to the advice that she gave to Oprah. When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time. Her wisdom, when practiced, can help us create a meaningful life and step into the person we're becoming.</p>
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<p>As always, thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. And I hope you're checking out my series that I'm running up until Election Day called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. It's all about reflections from everyday folk on America at 250 years old. And as we close, I'll remind you to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>