A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Tiffany Ryder

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
<p></p>
<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
<p></p>
<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your fellow neighbors who is perfectly imperfect like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Tiffany Rider</p>
<p></p>
<p>Tiffany, so good to see you, my friend. Thanks for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union and accepting a random outreach from a strange dude on LinkedIn. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. Well, like we were just talking about, I'm just, uh, hopelessly romantically in love with America, so the idea to, like, come on and, like, celebrate sort of all of the wonderful things about this place that we're from and love is exciting to me.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So thank you for having me. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Very cool. Now I'm g- I'm so looking forward to our conversation. So I know a little bit about you, um, but for those that don't, can you take a moment to introduce yourself, and where in this great country are you calling in from? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, so I'm calling in from DC. Um- </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And I am, I'm an emergency medicine PA by training, so I was actually working in the emergency room during COVID, and that was wonderful and terrible and, uh, all of the things that you could imagine it was. And I left after COVID, after the emer- most of the emergency had passed, and moved into the health policy space.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Started, uh, became a health policy writer, moved into communications because I said, "Okay, I love the, I love the, the patient care and, like, the doing the one-on-one, but is there a way that we could maybe work on the big stuff so that next time something like this happens, um, maybe it goes a little more smoothly?"</p>
<p></p>
<p>So that's where I am . </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. All right. That's awesome. So what's something really cool about DC? For those that don't know DC, 'cause this is a pretty big country, not everyone's been everywhere, and a lot of people are like, "Oh, DC, yeah, that's the government place." Now, I'm biased because I used to live in DC.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Okay. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And so I... So we, we probably have gone to some of the same places, although the city has changed a bit since I left it. But for those that don't know DC, what's something that's really cool about it that people might not know about? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, so I, I mean, I've been here in and out, I've lived overseas, but I've been here for more than two decades.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And for me, the coolest thing is just how surreal the sights are, right? So I'm from Louisiana, and, um, I grew up just rural town, middle of nowhere. Loved it, uh, but never thought I would go to DC. And then moved here as a young adult and remember driving into the city and, like, seeing the Capitol and seeing the Monument and just being like, "Wow, is this real?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Am I really here? Like, can I touch it?" And, um, and that feeling has not gone away, and I can, I can say I was at a, uh, a Maha party two weeks ago with, like, you know, all of these, these podcasters and, like, just people that, that, that, that I recognize, right? And one of them, like, leaned over and said, "Look at that view.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Man, it never gets old. It's just priceless." Like, looks like you could just touch it. And so I think it's one of those things that it doesn't matter where you're from or, you know, where you are in life, it's just sort of romantic and wonderful. And yes, there's a, a lot of stuff to complain about, but there's a lot of stuff to celebrate, and I think that the people in the city recognize that and appreciate that.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Absolutely. I'll say this: DC at night- Most gorgeous city in America. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Just </p>
<p></p>
<p>amazing You, you, you drive over maybe from Virginia and you come into, say you're coming in and you see the Lincoln Memorial, you see the Washington Monument sticking up. You make like a little bend as you cross the river, the Potomac, and you see the Capitol, and then you see Jefferson and you're like, "Oh my God, I'm, I'm here."</p>
<p></p>
<p>It never gets old. Never gets old. It gives me goosebumps every time. And I lived there for a long time, and I, I love to visit. So- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>let's </p>
<p></p>
<p>say you're- And most of it's free, so if you're from somewhere else- Yeah ... if you end up here, there... I mean, you could spend a week and not spend more money than whatever you eat and, and it costs to stay.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. You get a burrito, maybe go to Ben's Chili Bowl, whatever you fancy. Although that's not- ... the healthiest food, but every now and again, you know- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>we, we, uh, treat ourselves. Yeah. All right. So you're around your peeps, you're around your friends, and they ask you, you're having a little bit of a love affair moment with DC, but they ask you about America and they ask you, "Hey, Tiffany, what does America mean to you?"</p>
<p></p>
<p>How do you respond to that question? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, you know, it's funny 'cause in the policy world, in DC especially, right, like, we all like to talk about- I don't know. I think, I think a lot of us are here 'cause we're idealists and we, and we are attached to this thing that, this idea of what America can be in our heads, and it's easy to be disappointed when you compare whatever what is against perfection.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But, you know, I, I find that for me, the thing that keeps me going is, you know, is, is freedom perfect here? Absolutely not, right? Do we have lawfare? Absolutely we do. Um, you know, are there issues? Yes. But I have lived in Western Europe. I lived in Germany for a decade. I've been all over the world, and I've never been somewhere where we really are so free, and where people, not everywhere, but many places, right?</p>
<p></p>
<p>If, if you're struggling, if you're a young woman and you're out alone, someone will come up to you and say, "I'm sorry, miss, do you need help? Can I help you?" Yeah. And, and I'd like to think that that's a human phenomenon, but it's more concentrated here, uh, between our oceans, and I just find that America is a friendly and, and free place that has a magical spark that I just haven't found anywhere else.</p>
<p></p>
<p>That's so cool. Yeah, thanks for sharing that. I know a lot of, a lot of families have a story of America, and, you know, with all the different people here, the stories are complex and complicated and, and messy and sometimes really hard. S- so do you know your family's story with America? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I, I know bits and pieces.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, my family is Cajun French, so we are, we are French-speaking, lived on the Bayou. My grandparents, uh, would take a boat to school. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, wow. That's so </p>
<p></p>
<p>cool. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Folk fluent, uh, Cajun French is a little different than classical French. And, um- ... and I guess my story would be that I used to hear my grandparents and, you know, my grandmother and, and all of her family, like, talking with her sisters and people in French, and I was always i- you know, intrigued at this language.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I was excited to learn the language. Well, we weren't allowed to learn the language, and the reason is because when they were taking the boat to school, uh, they would get in trouble. They would get their hands smacked with rulers for speaking the wrong language. And my grandparents- Oh, wow ... wanted us... Like, it wasn't yet that time where she said, you know, where they said, "Oh, well, we want you to have part of your culture."</p>
<p></p>
<p>For them, giving us the best start in life was to say, "No, no, no, we're Americans. Like, this other language, this whatever, like, we'll deal with that later, but, like, you need to learn English." And so it's funny because, you know, I'm angry about that now. Like, I wish I had- Yeah. ... this, uh, awesome accent and other language, but, um, but for us, you know, our st- our story is a story of assimilation, and I absolutely love my Cajun culture.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, but I am, but I'm happy that I feel just happy to be an American. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. So when you go back to Louisiana, does the Southern accent come out? Oh, yes. You know, uh, 'cause I... Yeah, so it- s- so that's when it's like it gets a little thick and you bring it- </p>
<p></p>
<p>It gets </p>
<p></p>
<p>thicker. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. I think it's always kind of there, but I...</p>
<p></p>
<p>It did help living overseas and speaking a different language for- Sure ... long periods of time. Like, I f- I feel like I lost a little bit of the accent, but it's, it's still there. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. That's cool. So you've mentioned, like, there's a lot, there's a lot that we can get hung up around. There's obviously a, a feeling of divisiveness and whatnot.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Sure. But there's also moments where we can feel connected with each other even though we might have different perspectives. So are there moments that you've experienced that come to mind where you're like, "Hey, I know I'm with a group of people or in a environment where the perspectives are far-ranging, but I feel connected to my fellow American or my, n- you know, neighbor or metaphorically speaking neighbor"?</p>
<p></p>
<p>So are there moments like that? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I mean, absolutely there are. Thank God. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. Absolutely. Like, all, all the time, right? Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>But, you know, in the emergency room it's very easy, um... Maybe it's not so easy. If you haven't been in that situation, maybe it's not clear, but, but I have never been in a situation in the emergency department where we look at someone and we say, "Oh, this person must have voted for so and so," or, "This per- this person must believe this or that," and ugh.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Like, that's not really the vibe, right? Like, I, I would walk into a room as a clinician and, and you just- love the patient in front of you. You feel responsible for the patient in front of you, even if they're grumpy, even if they're drunk, even if they're, you know, drug addicts. Like, whatever the deal is, it's like, ooh, this is my patient, and I am their advocate, and I'm connected to them.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And so I think that was, like, actually a pretty cool experience to be so connected in a real way with people that you would otherwise never connect with. But I think the thing that I see now, and I, I love talking about this, and it... I was so excited when you when you asked that question, is that, like, being a part of this health policy movement and talking to people in the, the MAHA space, uh, especially, it's, um, it's so interesting because what I've found is that the people who are interested in MAHA are from all over the political spectrum, right?</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's the left. It's the right. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All over the place. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All over the place. We have kids, and we would like them to be healthy. How do we do that? And we may yell at each other, you know, for hours about, like, how much- How to do it ... blood state matters or- Yeah ... how much when some vaccine is given matters, right? And we all have different opinions on that, but it's the, the idea that we want different things is just not true.</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's just not true. We are all on the same page. We are all mission-aligned for, to, to make healthcare, like, more affordable and healthy. And I think that has been my bias, is being in the healthcare and the health space. It doesn't matter if you're If you identify as, you know, being on the left or the right or whatever it is, it doesn't matter at all.</p>
<p></p>
<p>We're all in the same space and we're, we are all motivated to want better things for America. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And better, better health because I, you know, I've lived it. If you don't have your health, you'd trade almost anything to have your health. And what you mentioned in your experience in the ER, one, one thing I've shared over the years is that when, when the bell rang and all the EMS and all the people in the, my trauma room came to my aid, there was no, there were no questionnaires as far as like who I prayed to, if I prayed-</p>
<p></p>
<p>who I loved, who I voted for, what my title was at work. They just, they showed up and they went, they went on their, on their way to save my life, you know? Yeah. And I just, I, you know, I, I think if we can do that in a crisis, we can do that- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>just normally day in and day out. So- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>one of the things I use as a metaphor for the show is Kintsugi, where the Japanese art form where pottery breaks and we put it back together, but instead of like hiding our cracks and our blemishes or where, where we've tripped, our scars if you will, we highlight them and they become great symbols of our resilience and strength.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So in that spirit, we've had, you know, we have things that we could work on, uh, things that we can help, uh, connect again, hopefully heal. Maybe once we heal, we can grow. So is there one thing, I think I might know the answer to this, but is there one thing you would really want, uh, us to focus in on to help us do just that, reconnect, heal, and potentially grow as we go forward?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. Um, I mean f- I'm such a stickler for individual freedoms, especially in, you know, looking at it from a healthcare and health space. I think that tolerance is at an all-time low. You know, we all wanna pretend that we're tolerant, but tolerance actually looks like, uh, I have a treatment that I can offer you, but actually I recognize it's not my body, right?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Like, would you like to die of sepsis, or would you like these antibiotics? 'Cause I really- Yes ... wanna give them to you, right? Like, we can't not have opinions and bias and thoughts about what we believe is the right course of action for someone. But I think moving more towards this real understanding that other people have agency and, um, they have agency over their health.</p>
<p></p>
<p>If you wanna be gluten-free, uh, maybe it's just not my business to roll my eyes and be like, "Well, is that really necessary?" Like- ... I mean, there's so much judgment, and there's so much- Yeah ... attempt to control other people's thoughts and behaviors that is, in my opinion, just not really consistent with the American spirit.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And I would say if I hope to, to make an impact in this world, I write, um, I write a Substack, um, that I can give you to put in the show notes if you will. But- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, no, absolutely. I'll put it in the show notes, yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Sure. It's signalandnoise.online. But, but that whole Substack, the whole purpose is this is how I think about this health topic, or this is how I think about this health policy topic.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And you may completely disagree with me, but these are sort of my reasonings. Tell me where I'm wrong. Because I think the more that we can share sort of how we came to whatever conclusion we're coming to or what our perspective is, the more that we can actually have this thoughtful discourse. And then I think we innovate, and we get to a place that's better than where we are today.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. What I hear in your response is the, the ability to sit with each other and hopefully establish enough trust where we, you can have vigorous debate about the idea, not the person. And then hopefully through that conversation, which we're not having enough of- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>we can have better outcomes and, specific to health, better health for all of us, not just some of us.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So we'll round out here. I've been asking the person I've chatted with before you if they have a question for you. Okay. And then in turn, you get to pass the baton and ask a question of the next person I chat with. Okay. So I just spoke with Kate from Reno, Nevada. Okay. And so she, she sort of got, like, hung up in a good way on a T-shirt that people can't see, but it's hanging above my sh- or behind my shoulder, that says, "Choose joy."</p>
<p></p>
<p>So her question is about joy. So outside of, like, traditional things like family and friends- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>what, what brings you joy? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Hmm. I think, and- This sounds like, sounds like a made-up answer, but it's really not. That's okay. Like, for me, it's being able to use something that, that I have come to believe, right or wrong, is, uh, something that I do well at, and be able to use that for someone else.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So, like, the most fun, like, joyful experiences for me is, like, if you're like, "Tiffany, I just don't know how to use Riverside. Like, it's frustrating. It's just so terrible." And I'm like, "I use Riverside every day. Like, can I just hop on a call with you and, like, help you do that?" </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Now, this is not true. I don't know how to use Riverside.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But, like, I fe- But, but you're using it now, so now you </p>
<p></p>
<p>do. That's true. So But I love, like, I love being able to find those, um, those overlaps that you can find, like, in everyday life, like, where you really have something to give, but it doesn't really feel like you're giving anything, so you get all the feel-good, um, response, but, but none of the, the hard work, "Oh, this is, you know, super challenging and it's taking a lot of my energy."</p>
<p></p>
<p>And I think that that serendipity is really joyous for me. </p>
<p></p>
<p>That's so cool. It's the warm fuzzy of service. I love it. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I love it. And service is not always warm fuzzy- No ... but it can be, and it's lovely. </p>
<p></p>
<p>But it can be. It can be. So what question do you have for the next person I chat with in the series?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Mm. I was not prepared for this one. I know. Let, let me think about it. What is one thing that if someone knew you well, you would want them to know? </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Right? Okay. If you knew me well, you would </p>
<p></p>
<p>know that. You would know this about me. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. Yeah. I love it. I will ask the next person in our series that very question.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yay. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And- </p>
<p></p>
<p>I'm excited about that. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. So, and thanks for joining me. Thank you for putting a beautiful ripple effect into the world and helping us become a more perfectly imperfect union. I so appreciate you, Tiffany, and thank you for being here. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. And thank you, Michael. Like, I, I mean, I know it's, like, polite to say, "Oh, and thank you, too," but-</p>
<p></p>
<p>seriously, like, speaking of ripples in the world, like, having conversations like this, like, where you're highlighting what's good and what's working and what we could maybe all improve on in just a little bit- Yeah, </p>
<p></p>
<p>a little </p>
<p></p>
<p>bit ... um, is, is a lovely energy, and I wish you all the best, and I appreciate you having me on.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Mm. Thank you. Peace.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Let me tell you, but I don't have to tell you, Tiffany has so much energy. She brought it in our interview. It was so great to connect with her. And I love her question at the end, "What do you need to know about me if you truly know me?" Love it. So how would you respond? Let me know in the comment section below.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And as always, thanks for being here. Thanks for listening, and I hope you'll check out the rest of our series as we travel around America speaking to everyday folks who are trying to figure it out and taking steps to do so, just like Tiffany, on their reflections of America as she's turned 250 years old.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And don't forget to also tune in to my Whole Again episodes. They're all designed to help you step into the person you're becoming and live a meaningful life. But until all that, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>