Growth Mindset Tip #23 - Be Generous

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that is here in support of the person you're becoming in your quest to live a meaningful life. And since it's Friday, I have another one of our Friday tips for you. If you've been following along this year, you know what I do on Fridays. If you're new here, I will say welcome, and I'll share that each Friday during 2026, in celebration of the 25th anniversary of my last bad day, I'm offering up growth mindset tips that I've learned along the way and through my recovery.</p>
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<p>And some of them I just know are gonna hit the mark for you. They'll be part of your Toll House recipe for a meaningful life. I believe we all have our own Toll House cookie recipe. Everyone's just a little bit different. Now, some of them will be just a bit outside. So I would say take what works for you, and leave the rest behind.</p>
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<p>And this week we're up to tip number 23, and it's all around generosity, or in other words, be generous. And I'm not talking about writing a big check to a nonprofit, but if you wish to do that, who am I to stop you? No, what I'm talking about in this episode is something that I feel we need more of so desperately right now So let's start here.</p>
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<p>Let's go back to the word generous and its roots. Initially, its meaning was tied to a noble birth. So the one percenters of the world, they were generous. But fortunately, over time, the meaning has evolved. Now it has a nobility of spirit vibe to it, meaning it's a willingness to give, not because you have to, but simply, "Hey, it's something I do because that's what I do."</p>
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<p>And I think this is cool. Generosity has roots in almost every traditional wisdom practice. In Buddhism, it's called dana, or the practice of giving as a path to liberation. And if you happen to attend a retreat center, a Buddhist retreat center, or a meditation center that practices dana, all this means is that the teachers don't get paid.</p>
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<p>They're dependent upon the generosity from the members of the sangha, the practitioners, to offer them tips or dana as a form of compensation. And in many indigenous traditions, your worth to the community wasn't about what you could accumulate over your lifetime, but actually what you chose to give away.</p>
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<p>Even if we go back to ancient Rome, generosity was considered a virtue, one that separated a great leader from merely a powerful one. There's a big difference between those two. So generosity has always been with us. Its meaning has evolved over time, which I think is a good thing, and it's woven into, at least from my perspective, into what it means to be human.</p>
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<p>And when we show up fully in our wonderful humanness, then we can find a pathway to greater connection, greater meaning, and ultimately the person we're all becoming And for a moment, if we come back to Buddhism, which serves as the underpinnings of mindfulness, generosity is one of the nine qualities of mindfulness, at least according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, who created mindfulness-based stress reduction.</p>
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<p>Along with qualities like non-judging, beginner's mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, letting go, and gratitude, which is also part of the GRACE model I've shared here on Whole Again, well, generosity made it with those eight. And through JKZ's lens, generosity isn't just about material giving. That can be a part of it, no doubt.</p>
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<p>But what he means by including generosity in these nine, it's about being open and being in a giving quality to every moment we experience because life is a collection of moments. We give our attention in a very generous way to these moments. We give our presence in a very generous way to all of these moments.</p>
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<p>It's how we show up for someone. It's how we show up for ourselves And in this day and age of all the stuff that's happening in the world, as they say, we live in an attention economy. We need generosity so desperately on so many different levels. As the richest country in the world, we should be generous in giving our support to other nations in need through aid and relief and medicine and knowledge.</p>
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<p>We can do that as a country. We can be a generous country to other countries. We can also be generous to our employees if we're part of a corporation by paying them a living wage, so our employees don't have to work two or three jobs. But we can also be generous in our understanding of one another. We can listen to connect and understand versus simply listening to reply, which happens all the time.</p>
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<p>You know this. You're living it. There is so much being thrown at you at any given moment. Every app, every platform, every notification seems to be engineered. We know the algorithm is engineered. That engineering is all about trying to grab your attention. I would say the algorithm is anti-generous. This all gets me to this point Back in the day, they would say time is your most precious resource because you can't make more time.</p>
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<p>That's one of the reasons why I came up with my app, Pause, Breathe, Reflect, with Microdose EQ, because we could give people back an hour or more a day. It's actually free in the Apple App Store and on Google Play. But current day, I would say our attention has become our most valuable resource. Companies are literally trying to compete for your attention what it feels like twenty-four hours a day, which is crazy.</p>
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<p>So when we give our full attention, our undivided attention to someone else or a project that would have amazing ripple effects, this is an act of generosity. So my encouragement with this week's tip, tip number twenty-three, is be generous. Be fully there for yourself, for a project, for someone else. Don't be someone who half-asses it or provides half attention, or be the person that behaves in such a way that says, "I'm sort of listening while I scroll."</p>
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<p>What that says when we do that is that our attention can be bought. If I see something more interesting than you, then hey, they win, you lose. And in that particular moment, not all the time, but in that particular moment, we're acting like an asshole. So give your real attention fully. Put all your ass into it.</p>
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<p>Be generous. Be generous to the degree that you can put your phone down, make eye contact, and let you know you hear what they have to say. Let them know that you see them, you hear them, and you appreciate them, even if they're saying something that you may not totally agree with. Listen with generosity.</p>
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<p>Give your gift of presence.</p>
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<p>So that's the tip for this week. Also, in celebration of my 25th anniversary of My Last Bad Day, I'm giving away copies of my book, my best-selling book, My Last Bad Day Shift. In it, you'll find great tips to help you live a meaningful life and step into the person you're becoming. So I hope you'll check out the link in the show notes.</p>
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<p>But as always, thanks for being here. Thank you for listening. And I hope you're checking out my new series that I started back in May and I plan to run until Election Day called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. It's all about reflections as America turns 250. And I'm talking to real folk like yourself, everyday Americans who are trying to put good ripples into the world.</p>
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<p>And we have a new conversation to share with you tomorrow. Those conversations are released every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. So I hope you'll check them out and see what your fellow neighbor has to say. And if you'd like to participate, drop me a line. Or if you know someone who might want to participate, let me know.</p>
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<p>And until then, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you</p>