A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflection on America 250 with Linda Cohen

<p> Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else.</p>
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<p>But here, I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old. And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not, but my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
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<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to meet another everyday American who is putting out a good ripple like you, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Linda Cohen</p>
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<p>Hey, Linda. Good to see you. Thanks for joining me on A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you feeling today? </p>
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<p>I am feeling so much joy today, Michael, because I am here with you. </p>
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<p>Oh, that's awesome. I love it. We, we have East Coast roots that we share, but we also have a connection to PDX, as we talked about before I hit record.</p>
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<p>And so you get to represent, you get- you're the first representative of Oregon in my series, so which is really cool. But for those that don't know you and all the work that you're doing, I'd love to give you a moment to introduce yourself. And I already sort of spilled the beans a little bit that you're from Oregon, but we'll talk a little bit more about that.</p>
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<p>But over to you. Like, who, who the heck are you? Who </p>
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<p>are you? So Linda Cohen here, and yeah, grew- born in New York City, grew up in New England, in Vermont and Massachusetts, and relocated to Oregon in 1995. So I've been out here about 30 years. I have two grown children who were born here, so those are my real roots in Oregon.</p>
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<p>Um, and I think now I definitely have webbed feet, which is what we say out here. Um- Yes ... but I feel pretty bicoastal. I'm definitely type A personality who's moved west and is sorta chill now. Uh, my professional work is as a, as a keynote speaker and a consultant, and I speak with businesses and organizations around the economy of kindness, why kindness matters, how it impacts your team members, their mental health and wellness, your bottom line, everything it takes to be a leader who wants to lead their organization with kindness.</p>
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<p>Um, and that is the work I get to do every single day, and I am so grateful, Michael, that that is the work I was called to do. </p>
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<p>That is so awesome, and I love the fact that you said you get to do. You know, the, the, the, uh, language matters, right? Our words- Mm-hmm ... create our worlds, and so we get to actually put that nice ripple of kindness into the world.</p>
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<p>So this is a big country. </p>
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<p>Yes. </p>
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<p>Not everyone's been to Oregon. </p>
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<p>Yeah. And </p>
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<p>for everyone out there, it's not Ore-gone, it's Oregon. </p>
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<p>Yep. </p>
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<p>And so, uh, as someone who's married to someone who, uh, hails from Portland- Yeah ... for those, though, that don't know- Oregon Yeah What's something really special about it that you'd like to share?</p>
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<p>I mean, Oregon is a beautiful state. We have so much diverse, you know, um, terrain here. So we have a... I live in Portland, in the Beaverton area, where Nike is headquartered, and I am an hour from the coast, and we call it the coast, not the beach- Yes ... because it's pretty rocky and kinda cold, and you don't really lay out at the beach.</p>
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<p>You enjoy the coast and the changing water, whatever. We have tide pools, all sorts of that. We have amazing vineyards and wineries. We are really have a spectacular wine culture. And then up the hou- an hour the other way is Mount Hood, and this beautiful, you know, natural, incredible, um, mountain range and a million waterfalls.</p>
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<p>Um, and then if you go north, you've got Seattle, and you've got all sorts of stuff as well. Um, water is prolific here, both rain and what we get to enjoy, lakes and stuff. But it's a really, really beautiful state, and I love being here. It's progressive and, you know, um, weird. Keep it weird. I mean, people are independent here but really love good food and, um, and like I said, wine, and we have Powell's bookstore downtown, an amazing independent bookstore, which I had the pleasure of having my first book signing at Powell's, which was very exciting as a first-time author.</p>
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<p>So it's a great place and wonderful people here. </p>
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<p>That is so cool. Powell's, for anyone that do- doesn't know, one of the best bookstores- Mm-hmm ... independent bookstores in the country. There are a few others, but Powell's is top-notch. And to your point, yes, when you go to the coast in Oregon- ... bring your sweatshirt 'cause it can get- Yes</p>
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<p>chilly. </p>
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<p>And- Even in August. </p>
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<p>Even in August. I've been there- Yeah ... in August plenty of times, and I'm bundled up. It's- Yeah ... actually quite cold, but just the, the diversity and its beauty- Yeah, yeah ... is, is something that I, I really- I, I always appreciated when you're just traveling there to go back to my wife's farm that she grew up on.</p>
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<p>Mm-hmm. But when I rode my bike across the country, we started in Astoria and we- Yeah ... went through, we went down into Eugene, and then out to Eastern Oregon- Yeah ... which the terrain out there is completely different than the lushness that you have closer to the coast, so- Yeah ... a great- I finally got to </p>
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<p>Eastern Oregon- Yeah</p>
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<p>after living here for 20 years. I had some work that brought me to Eastern Oregon. It is beautiful, and also diverse and different kinds of terrains. Yeah, </p>
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<p>absolutely. Yeah. And it's, and, and Portland is, to your point, like really weird. They have the whole naked bike ride thing, which is- That </p>
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<p>is... Oh my gosh, yes, it is.</p>
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<p>I had a, I had a niece visiting me from Michigan the y- the year, uh, several years ago. She was, uh, at the end of high school. And she comes out here and we pick her up, and guess what? It was the naked bike race that day. Yes. And her eyes were, like, as big as saucers. It was hilarious. Yeah. </p>
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<p>It's a, it's a, it's a sight, it's a sight to see.</p>
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<p>It is a sight. It is a sight to see. Yeah. So let's, let's imagine this summer you're- Yeah ... you're r- you're, maybe you're at the coast, you're hanging out with friends, you're doing a little picnic or what have you, or around a fire pit, and your friends, family, colleagues if you will, ask you what America means to you How do you respond?</p>
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<p>Oh, gosh. Um, well, my family were immigrants. My grandmother brought my father when he was four years old to New York City. Um, and, uh, you know, they, we are an immigrant country, and so I feel like we have people from all over the world living in our country, and I think that's incredible because I think that means food and music and arts are all, you know, spill out from this incredible diversity that we have.</p>
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<p>And I wanna see that, you know, championed. I wanna see that as a place, because bottom line, underneath any differences that we have, I think we're all the same. I think we all have the same kind- we wanna be loved and we wanna have family. And so I think America is a beautiful melting pot, um, of diversity and, and I really wanna see that celebrated.</p>
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<p>I love that. And I, you know, if it wasn't for diversity, we'd all be eating like shepherd's pie all the time. We'd be, there would be a very bland, bland- Yes ... Western or Northern European diet. So I, uh- No ... uh, two thumbs up for diversity in terms of food, but also culture and I- Music ... and music. Yeah. Like, like the whole range of the value of diversity, it certainly makes, I, I think it makes our country s- what it is and, and so strong.</p>
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<p>Totally. And I am actually, you know, I live on the West Coast, I had not been, I haven't spent a lot of time in the South, and I have just gotten back from Mississippi and Arkansas, and in February I got to go to New Orleans, and- Oh, cool ... you know, these were places that I'd never been to before. And here I am, like with my eyes wide open, just taking it all in.</p>
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<p>You know, taking in the food. Oh my gosh, the food and the music was amazing, and I just loved it. And I know you're gonna ask me another question, but I already have an answer for something that came up for me traveling in the South as kind of a Northerner, and, um, yeah. And so I can't wait till I get to share that one before we wrap up.</p>
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<p>No problem. That's awesome. Well, like current day in 2020, w- we're s- we're spending a l- a, it feels like a lot of time talking about AI. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>And so what's your take on it? There, there's, it feels like there's two camps. One camp is it's gonna set us free and open up possibilities. It's gonna be utopia. Uh- Yeah</p>
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<p>the other camp is watch out, it will destroy- Right ... humanity. So where- You know- ... where do you sit or stand as it relates to AI, where we are, let's say, currently? </p>
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<p>Yeah. I mean, I feel a little mixed. I feel that social media has not totally served us as human beings. Sure. And I do have a little bit of worry that AI could do some things that social media has done in terms of divisiveness.</p>
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<p>However, I do not believe that AI will replace human beings, because I believe that human beings wanna be connected to each other. And AI is really just an algorithm of all of people's thoughts, no personality coming down and just sharing things with you. So I have used AI as a professional speaker and a consultant, as, you know, kind of an editor, as somebody who shares ideas and gets a little bit of bouncing off ideas.</p>
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<p>But I also know that sometimes AI gets it wrong, and I'm- Yeah. ... married to a researcher and data person who- Ah ... you know, he, he was watching a television show and he asked AI something about the show, and it came back and he was like, "Wait, that's wrong." And then AI was like, "Yeah, you're right. That didn't happen.</p>
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<p>Yeah, you're right." And he has to, like, since 'cause he's a researcher, and he said, "AI didn't know what the hell I was asking, and it was all wrong." You know? And eventually AI did go, "Yes, you're right. That did never happen on the series of the show." You know? So something as simple as that. So I think we have to be a little bit, um, cautious with it, but it's here, so you know, I know it's like it's here, so as, as was social media.</p>
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<p>You know? And I think we're living in, we're living in interesting times. I know that that is something people say. I think it's... Is that a Chinese proverb, that- I think it might </p>
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<p>be ... may you live in interesting times? Yeah, it might be. Yeah. </p>
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<p>I think we are living in interesting times. Um, but I know that with my work, um...</p>
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<p>And I'll wait till you ask your rest of your questions before I answer more, but AI, I think is here to stay, so you know, having some kind of a framework where we accept it, but maybe are a little bit, um Realizing that's not gonna replace human beings and hearts and being near people. Um, so that is still our work to do as humans.</p>
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<p>Yeah. I, I love what you just shared. I, I was just at a conference down in Tennessee earlier this week, and th- this was a, a big topic. And- Yeah ... what I felt so encouraged about le- leaving, leaving the event is maybe AI's waking us up to the fact that we do want to connect one human to another, and we, we might start to rally and, and wake up to it- Yeah</p>
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<p>and wake up to what it could be, and also just, like, who we are and how we, we have this need to really connect with each, each other, which we- Totally ... we- which is the spirit of this whole series. And I, e- as you know, I use the Japanese art form as, of Kintsugi as a metaphor for, as a country, we're perfectly imperfect.</p>
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<p>We do have history. We have scars. We can- Yeah ... see that history and acknowledge it, and that can actually be sources of our strength, things that we've overcome. Yep. Yeah. So when you think about, you know, potentially helping the country heal or, uh, fix something t- that might need repairing, not necessarily in a perfect way, but, like, in a meaningful first step, what would you like to address?</p>
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<p>Well, the first thing I wanna share is you mentioned the Japanese thought for this. We have a Jewi- I'm Jewish, and there's this Jewish concept, too, about tikkun olam and repairing the world, and that each one of us is called to be a piece of that repairing. Um, and as I said, I've been a kindness speaker for more than a decade, so I get the opportunity to meet people all over the country.</p>
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<p>And my work is to encourage them to realize that it doesn't have to be a huge thing that you do. An act of kindness, a single little act of kindness, and I heard it at the Kindness Summit I just attended. We had our first annual inaugural, uh, Kindness Summit in Florida. It's incredible, a- an act of kindness that could change somebody's life, both the person who receives it, and maybe this just changes how they look at life because they were bullied or because something happened and a teacher saw them, or an, or a schoolmate stepped in on their behalf.</p>
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<p>And then, you know, 40 years later, that story is still so much embedded in them. Or it's a manager who takes on an employee and, you know, maybe the employee is challenging, and that manager sees possibility in that employee. So, I mean, I have just heard, and it's the wor- I mean, that's why I think my life feels so happy, is because I get to be this conduit to the things I hear in maybe one organization or one industry to another.</p>
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<p>Um, but, but being with these kindness people that I got to share time with at this summit, um, in May There's so many people who are getting woken up to the fact that they don't like where we are as a world. Mm. And they wanna do something. And every person who told their story about why they're doing this work now was like, "We're getting woken up."</p>
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<p>If this isn't the world you wanna live in, then I encourage you, if you're listening, to figure out what is yours to do. What is- Yes ... your unique way? Are you an artist or a poet or a writer or a singer or a baker? Like, whatever it is for you to do, go deep into that and let that be your shared language of humanity to serve other people.</p>
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<p>Um, and if you're like me, I'm a crazy extrovert, I walk through the world and, like, it is my job, I know, every day to be a shining beacon of light. And whether you meet me in the airport or you meet me at the coffee shop or you meet me at the supermarket, this is how I'm gonna show up for you. And I am gonna walk away from you, and you are gonna be like, "Wow, I want some of what she has because I need that."</p>
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<p>And that is, I, I really feel like that is my work. And being in Florida was, like, 100 of us, and it was just... I mean, I, I'm still on a high. I've, I've been out of the conference for a couple of days, and I'm just like, "Oh, what are we gonna do together?" Because it feels like we had a little fire burning there.</p>
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<p>We were all, like, single flames across the world. We came together. And there were, you know, probably 50 people I wrote down on my notes, like, this person should've been here. They're also working in kindness. I know a lot of people in this space, so it's like 50 other people who I wish had been sitting in that conference with me, you know, that summit, so.</p>
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<p>Preach it, Linda. Preach it. I love it. I love the energy. That's awesome. Well- At a birthday, America- Yes ... turns 250 here- Yep, yep ... in a few weeks. Yep. We do two things at most birthdays. We, we have cake- Yep ... and we make a wish as we blow out the candles. So first question is, what kind of cake are you serving for America's 250th?</p>
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<p>Okay, well I love carrot cake. That is like my- Oh ... number- Nice. That, that was our wedding- </p>
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<p>So probably- That was one of the, our wedding cake flavors, carrot cake. Did </p>
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<p>you get it from Beaverton? But no, 'cause you got married on the East Coast of Beaverton. No, we got married in </p>
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<p>DC, so but we had, we had three flavors.</p>
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<p>We had one of those cakes that three different flavors- Oh, that's cool ... to appeal to as many people as possible. </p>
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<p>That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. Okay, my cake would be, but really I probably wouldn't turn down chocolate cake. I probably wouldn't turn down many cakes if they were delicious. Um, my wish will be that you get tapped as you're listening to this, or whatever it is that wakes you up, that you get tapped, that you have a role to play in making this world a better place.</p>
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<p>And don't wait. You know, we need you. We need an army of people around the globe who say, "I don't want where we are. I don't want it to be all about money and about not taking care of people. I want to be part of the change." And it's not just claptrap. I mean, that is real language that is like, because this is happening and I'm seeing it and it's, you know, I, I was a speaker in kindness for like a decade and maybe I, I knew that there were a few other people out there, but literally in the last five, six years it's like every month I connect to somebody around the globe who's like started a project, started a this, started...</p>
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<p>Because people are like, "I don't want this. I need change." So that feels- Yeah ... amazing actually. And it doesn't have to be big. It could be small. Uh, my, my things are like smile at someone, thank someone, um, you know, if you're gonna complain also give gratitude when you have something to say. Um, do something even little- Hold the door open for </p>
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<p>someone.</p>
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<p>Yes, </p>
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<p>yes, yes. It doesn't have to be a lot and you know you can't do everything, so start where you are and do something because you can do something every day, so. </p>
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<p>Sage advice. Yeah, I, I love it, love it. So, the m- last person I chatted with, actually from the Pacific Northwest, Jayinta Jenkins, had a question around AI for you And his question really was around, like, what steps are you gonna take to ensure that AI is something that serves humanity as opposed to suppresses hu- humanity?</p>
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<p>And I know you mentioned just a few minutes ago, you were sort of like mixed bag a bit. Yeah. So I would- just curious, uh, how would you respond to Jayanta's question? </p>
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<p>I don't have a great answer for that one. I mean, I feel like I'm gonna use AI in small-ish ways, but that isn't really gonna be m- I mean, I tell people to not use social media if your algorithms are all negative.</p>
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<p>So maybe I'm gonna- Sure ... eventually start saying, you know, can I tell people to stop watching the news because the news is set on telling us only the bad news. Yes. You hear 17 bad news stories, and you get that one good news story. But I know from my work that there is good things happening around. And actually, at the summit, I know many of us were talking about how can we have a good news station?</p>
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<p>How can we tell the stations we want more good news? We need more good news around the world, um, because we know it's happening, so let's start sharing that more. So in terms of AI, um, I mean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna play with it and use it in some ways in my work. Um, but I'm not gonna decide that it's gonna determine the future.</p>
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<p>My future is gonna be one-to-one with real people- Mm ... um, whether that's in my neighborhood, in my community, at my synagogue, you know, uh, attending other people's houses of worship. Um, I, I, I, my word of the year last year was curiosity, and I feel like leaning into curiosity is really what we could do as human beings to help build, build bridges between people.</p>
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<p>And I, I'm waiting for you to finally let me ask my question, 'cause I have my question. All right. Yeah, like </p>
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<p>I wanna hear it. What's your que- Okay ... question for the next person I chat with? </p>
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<p>Okay, so I was in Arkansas, and I had never been to the South, I told you, and I'm in Arkansas. I don't really know much about Arkansas at all.</p>
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<p>I read up, okay, Little Rock, and I was in Hot Springs at a convention- yeah... for healthcare. Walmart's there </p>
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<p>and stuff like that. Yep, </p>
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<p>yep, yep. But, but again, like, I really don't know. So I go in and I said, sitting at the table, grabbed my lunch at the conference after I had spoken, and I sit down and I say to the person sitting next to me, who's from Arkansas, "What do people get wrong about your state?"</p>
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<p>And immediately, like without even thinking, what do people get wrong about my state? That we're uneducated, that we don't have water, running water, and we don't have electricity. And here I am at like a professional conference of healthcare employees who run senior living organizations. I said, "Okay, thank you."</p>
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<p>You know? I, I was kind of fascinated by what she answered quickly. On that same trip, people asked me about Oregon. You know, "Oh, is Oregon okay?" Okay. "I mean, are you doing okay? We hear such bad things." And I said, "Yeah, we're doing fine." You know? Y- you know, and I did say a couple of things that we have as a business.</p>
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<p>Downtown Portland has definitely had some issues post-COVID that it has had to d- is thinking about and dealing with. However, it made me think, Michael, that this is the thing. What do people get wrong about you needs to be the question I start asking my au- audiences. What do people get wrong about you and your religion, where you come from, what your state is known for?</p>
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<p>Because I think that that's where the unconscious bias is coming out of. So I, so that's my question for your next person is, you know, what, and, and people, what do people get wrong about you? I have been a proud Jew since growing up in Vermont, where I was the only Jew in my high school, in my, you know, classes except for my brother.</p>
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<p>We were really the only Jewish family in our little town in Vermont. So I ended up becoming a Jewish ambassador. And then I went on to write a book. My first book is about a thousand mitzvahs- what's a mitzvah- and I share that and, you know, that's how I got into this work. So I, and I just had this summit, and I'll just end.</p>
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<p>I know we're probably at our time, but, um, at this summit that I got to go to, we had a Friday night dinner, a beautiful Friday night dinner hosted by some, some folks in the Florida community. And Friday night is when I light h- candles. We light candles, and I have a wonderful rebbetzin, rabbi's wife, who sends me what time candlelighting is.</p>
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<p>Just that's her like kindness every week. She tells me what time to light 'cause you're supposed to light at a certain time. But I was in Florida and we were at this dinner and so I said to the group... First of all, I made a, a Hebrew blessing for our group, which is the blessing you make when you are at like this most beautiful space and time, the Shehecheyanu blessing.</p>
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<p>Yes. And </p>
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<p>then I said, "And usually I light my Friday night candles." And the hostess was like, "Let's get them. Come on." And so she went and grabbed candles and candlesticks and I got to do my Shabbat blessing in front of, you know, 12 other peers who are not Jewish, and they, each one of them, I think every single person said, "Thank you for doing that."</p>
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<p>Yeah. "Thank you for sharing your custom." So when we get curious about people and when we see somebody else of their humanity, I believe we can change things. You know, when you get to know somebody for real who sits in another, an other what person, you're gonna learn from each other. So that's my, that's my wish for the 250th year of, of America is I wanna be proud to be an American because I wanna see everybody shining their beautiful souls, whether they are different from other people sitting next to them.</p>
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<p>That's a great wish. And I'll, I'll share a little bit as far as like what people get wrong about m- Hmm ... me, and actually my wife, it links back to Judaism. So, uh, my last name O'Brien, my wife's last name is Christensen. So you'd think like, okay, here's a Christian household. Right. Few years into our marriage, my wife converted to Judaism.</p>
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<p>Okay. And my girls, uh, Elle Christensen O'Brien and Grady Christensen O'Brien both went through their bat mitzvah. And so we, uh, have the whole Friday night candles, the whole thing, and so nor- like no one would think otherwise 'cause they're like, you know, if you just go off on- Last names ... our last names, you're like, oh, probably Catholic or Presbyterian or what have you, but nope.</p>
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<p>So yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, uh, but I, but I, I love, I love that whole question, what do people get wrong about your state? I, I will start asking that as well as I go forward. But I really appreciate you doing all your, all the work that you're doing to ripple kindness into the world, and really pumped that we were able to do this and hopefully make for a perfectly imperfect union as we celebrate America 250.</p>
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<p>So thank you, Linda. </p>
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<p>You're welcome. Happy birthday, America.</p>
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<p>I have to tell you, this project is so much fun because I get to meet wonderful humans like Linda. I love her whole emphasis on kindness. As someone who has a Ripple Kindness T-shirt, I speak her language, and I love her question. And what you'll hear as you listen to the rest of the series is that when I ask someone what's special about their state, I will also ask them, "What do people get wrong about your state?"</p>
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<p>Love the question. I also love her wish for America. Of course, I think we all know that if we really want to come together, it will take more than just wishing. It will take action. And maybe that action starts with a conversation, a conversation that allows us to be fully seen, heard, and appreciated, or I would say loved, one human to another, even if we don't see the world the same way.</p>
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<p>I believe that 97% of people are good. There's a like-heartedness in that goodness. And if we lead with our heart, we can be open to different-mindedness. That's how we can come together and form a more perfectly imperfect union. If today's conversation resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone you know.</p>
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<p>And if either you or someone you know would like to join me for a conversation, please reach out. And until our next episode in our Perfectly Imperfect Union series, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. Happy birthday, America, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>