A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflections on America 250 with Ron Gold

What happens when the life you pictured disappears in an instant?

That's the question Ron Gold has been living with for fifteen years. Ron is a cyclist, coach, and fellow New Jerseyan who, on a bright sunny day, was struck head-on by a driver who fell asleep at the wheel. He woke up paralyzed. And somehow, he found his way back.

In this episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, Ron shares what that journey taught him about agency, letting go of "why me," and focusing on what you can control instead of what you can't. That same philosophy shapes how he sees America right now, a country he still believes in, even as he watches too many people choose performance over purpose. His take on Congress is worth the listen alone.

Ron had a question for Joshua, but he didn't show. So I'll paraphrase: What's one way to make your favorite dish healthier?

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With Whole Again: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kintsugi Wisdom, listeners explore mindfulness and resilience through personal stories of trauma, scars, and injury while learning to overcome, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and perfectionism with self-compassion, self-love, and self-worth. Through insightful discussions on building resilience, fitness, and stress management, as well as mindfulness practices and digital wellness, the show offers practical tools such as breathwork, micro-dose meditation, grounding techniques, visualization, and daily affirmations for anxiety relief and stress reduction. Inspired by the art of kintsugi, the podcast embodies healing as a transformative process, encouraging a shift in perspective from worry and overwhelm to gratitude and personal growth. By exploring the mind-body connection, micro-dosing strategies for emotional well-being, and

Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.

The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.

Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.

As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.

There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.

Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.

And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not, but my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."

We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to meet an everyday American who is putting out a great ripple effect like you, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Ron Gold.

Ron, so good to see you. Thanks for joining me on A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you feeling today? 

I am feeling good. Like I just told you before we got on, uh, I had a good ride yesterday. I was, uh, working my muscles and- Yes ... uh, I'm feeling good today. We got a beautiful day. 

It is a beautiful day.

It's a really beautiful day, and hopefully a beautiful weekend coming up. So we know each other, but for those that don't know you, who the heck are you? And Where do you live? What state are you coming from? 

I'm coming from New Jersey. Uh, I live about half an hour away from you. And, uh- Go Jersey. 

Jersey's in the house.

Yes. It's certainly in the house. You know, what, what's going on is, uh, the World Cup is coming, and the final is gonna be here, right here in New Jersey, 25 minutes away from me. So that is big in the news these days. 

Absolutely. And you'll only have to take out a second mortgage on your h- uh, your house to be able to afford to go to the game live.

So it's probably best to watch it on TV. 

I know. You know, I was really hoping that I would get to a, a World Cup game once in my life, and, and I had this in my head, I'm gonna go to the World Cup while it's here. I don't need to go to the finals, just go to any game. But then the prices have gotten so crazy, I'm like, well, TV it is.

I, I think that's our approach. We went to the World Cup when it came to the States last time. We saw the Netherlands play Saudi Arabia in DC. Great experience, but this time around, I'm gonna watch it from the comfort of my own living room. So for those that don't know you, tell us a little bit about who you are.

Sure. I, uh, I guess one of the pivotal things about me and, and defining things of my life is, uh, my accident. Uh, 15 years ago, I was riding my bicycle, which is something I did regularly. Uh, I was an avid weekend warrior sorta guy. And, uh, we were finishing a ride a few miles to go, and for some reason, even though it was a bright and sunny day, just like today, a driver coming at me fell asleep, and she veered directly into me, and I had no chance to avoid her 'cause we were in a peloton, we were in a pace line.

My eyes were locked on my buddy's rear wheel. He yelled, I looked up, and there was a guardrail on r- on my right, no room, and that's the last thing I remember for, for actually several weeks. Uh, a helicopter came, medevaced me to the hospital. I was placed in an induced coma, and, uh, I survived, as you can tell.

Yes. 

But I woke up only to learn I was paralyzed. And- Mm ... the direction of my life obviously went in a completely different direction. 

Absolutely. Well, we share that, different, two cycling accidents, but in a different way, and we're both living examples of the power of Kintsugi, that we break and we can come back together and highlight our scars and our- Our broken pieces and use them as, as symbols of our strength and resilience.

So I'm glad, I'm glad we, like, in so many different ways, I'm so glad that we both get to do this. So let's go back to New Jersey. What, what's something... You know, New Jersey gets a bad rap. So what is something about New Jersey that is special? And a second part of that q- question, what's something that people get wrong about New Jersey?

I think there are a couple things. 

One, we have this, uh, unique aspect between New York and Philadelphia, but mostly that we're outside of New York. So we have, we have some of the, some of the vibe, some of the cosmopolitan aspect of New York City, but with our own unique, uh, New Jersey aspect on it all that.

And that is we are fiercely loyal, uh, to our other New Jerseyans, and we have maybe a, a little bit of a, of a hard edge and saying, "Don't screw with us. We're here. We get all that New York stuff. We like it." But not completely. Sometimes New York gets a little over the top. And I'd say also we have ma- a lot more beautiful aspects of New Jersey than people realize.

Because there's that one stretch on the New Jersey Turnpike where everybody sees, uh, all the, you know, oil facilities. And really there i- it's called the Garden State for a reason. And, uh, and that's something people get wrong as well. 

Yeah. There's, there's something great about New Jersey where you can get to the shore, depending on where you live, in about a hour or so, and then you can also get way out into the country, the horse country, the m- the mountains.

Uh, all due respect to those that live out in the Mountain West, you have real mountains. We have little lumps, but they're mountains to us. And I'm right there with you, uh, Ron. It's like there's a, there's an attitude, there's a vibe to New Jersey. Plus, we also have better bagels than anywhere else in the nation.

Our bagels are superior to those in New York City. I'm just saying that I think that is indeed true. So one of the- And pizza And pizza, yeah. Because, yeah, we just do it, we just do it better. Just, just saying. All love to New Yorkers, but we just do it better in Jersey. So the question I've been asking people is I w- I want you to imagine maybe it's the summer, you're around the picnic table, you're having a nice carbo-loading kind of meal with bagels and pizza, and someone asks you, "Hey Ron, what does America mean to you?"

How do you respond? What do you say to that question? 

You know, I ... Answering that question, I'm a little bit old school. Because I still, I believe in the vision of America, and I believe in the value and the beauty of the American experiment, and a 250-year-old democracy that has always been the envy of the world.

And I know that around the edges it's clearly fraying, and some things are taking it in a different direction. But the idea that in America you can do whatever you wanna do, you can be whatever you wanna be, um, that's ingrained in me. And, uh, I think too many people have lost that ideal. 

Mm. I hear you.

Other people have shared that too, just that- The opportunity for opportunity and really c-creating your identity as you move forward. I, I, I do, I do also share that perspective with you. I know in today's society, there's a lot of conversation about AI. There seems to be, like, two camps. AI will liberate us and will provide a whole bunch of different opportunity, or AI is going to destroy humanity.

The robots will win. Right now, as we sit here today, where do you stand? Where do you sit when it comes to AI? 

One of the things that, that drives me post my accident is the sense that... And, and, uh, and it didn't come right away, uh, I have to say. I have to say, after my, my accident, for the first couple of years, I was feeling really sorry for myself and, you know, the why mes.

Why did this happen to me? But eventually, so bear with me, but eventually, with my, my wife's, uh, tough love, I realized that, you know, shit happens to people. This isn't the life I pictured, but it is the life I have, and I aim to make the best of it And it, it became a sense of taking agency for my life and not feeling sorry for myself and not victimizing myself for what I can't do and focus on what I can do.

Mm. And as I've done that, I realize that we need to-- we can't focus on what we can't control, and we can't focus on things that happen because we can't control what happens. We can only respond in the most proactively, uh, and self-contained way that we can. And I guess that colors my view to almost everything, and it also colors my view with AI because I can't answer that question.

I mean, it's scary for sure, uh, that AI is gonna take over everything and the robots are gonna control us, but I, I can't do anything about that. What I can do something about is using AI to empower my life and to make a difference for the people I, I engage with, and that's what I aim to do. Now, I, I don't use it nearly as much as I should, but I do use it to bounce things off as a coach, uh, and as, as a writing coach, but also to think about things that I wanna do and how to proceed with them.

And I'm sure I could do much more than I'm doing, uh, but I can ... I'm amazed with how it's, how it's helping me do things that I'm doing. 

Very cool. Well, we'll take next a less scary topic, and I so appreciate what you shared about the why me, like why'd this happen to me? One of the things that really helped me through my recovery was laughter.

Like laughter is medicine we would watch the show Whose Line Is It Anyway? And it's improv show. And so this question is really around what makes you-- When you think about America, what makes you laugh? Like what... You know, I, I think, you know, Twitter or X, as we now know it, we can actually see some of the humor of Americans, or maybe just a whole bunch of bots, who knows?

But there, there's something that you know, when times are stressful, sometimes laughter is what we need. So is there anything in particular when you think about America, it brings the notion of laughter to your mind? 

There isn't any one thing. I mean, I, I, I don't, I don't look for those videos, and I'm not on TikTok, but when I do see some of those videos on Twitter that are particularly funny, I-- it, it, it gives me a chuckle for sure.

Uh, sometimes I, I watch TV shows that are funny, uh, and, uh, I'm watching one now. I think it's called The Big Mistake. Okay. Um, and it's very funny about how a family goes completely off the rails when they, uh, accidentally get connected with the mob and they get involved with it. Oh, okay. 

It's really 

stupid, but it's very funny.

But, but hey, sometimes we just need that to get through some of our moments, right? So- We do. 

We absolutely do ... w- 

when you, when you think about, you mentioned sort of on the edges w- when we might be fraying. So I use Kintsugi, as you know, as a metaphor, as I mentioned upfront. So if you could take one thing that you could start to, you know, fix or repair or heal, maybe not in a perfect way, maybe in a perfectly imperfect way, but in, in a, but also in a meaningful way.

Maybe it's on the edges. What's something that you would like to work on to, to help us heal around the edges so we can, so we can realize this whole perfectly imperfect union that we all share? 

You know, I, I don't want to just, uh, regurgitate things that other people have said, uh, such as social media being the ill that drives all this.

It, it is certainly to some extent. I, I think there is this sense on way too many people that they're in a performative existence rather than- Mm ... making a, a positive difference in life. And I, I, I have to look at Congress. I, I, I, I used to think of, of Congress as setting an example and, and now they're, they're all insider trading, they're all making statements, uh, that they know are wrong, but either they know that, that sometimes they do it just because they think that's what their, their, um, constituents wanna hear.

And instead of having the guts to say, "Hey, this is wrong. This is what we need to, to do, and let me show you why it's wrong," and there are so few that do that. You know, this guy, Ben Sasse, he left the Senate 'cause he was fed up with it. And others have too, of course. Maybe we need to take video away from Congress so you don't get the opportunity to get in front of pe- of, uh, America and make statements about things when you really should be there to To make legislation, to make things better.

And, and if we took that away, yeah, it's a, seems like a small thing in the grand scheme of how we're fraying, uh, that, that might help. 

Yeah, I think that's a good idea, Ron. Uh, uh, very few, uh, fewer YouTube Shorts or Instagram Reels and more leadership and legislation to help the greater good. I think I- Right

I think you might be onto something. So for a birthday, we generally have cake. So this is a, a two-part question. What kind of cake are you serving for America's 250th? And as we blow out the candles, all 250 of them, what's your wish for America? 

I would generally not be the one deciding the cake. Okay. But I'd have to believe it has to be something with blueberry or strawberry on it to give the, the, uh, the colors that we need.

So some maybe strawberry shortcake or something- Mm ... with blueberry. 

Well, blueberry would fit with New Jersey because New Jersey is the capital of great blueberries. No offense to Maine, but Jersey blueberries rock. A- and cranberries. And cranberries, so- So you get the cranberries 

and the blueberries, you get the red and the blue.

Yes. 

Okay, so- And then you add some white icing and you're there 

So some cake with blueberries, cranberries, strawberries. Get the red, white, and blue action. All right, I like that. So as we blow out the candles, what are you wishing for then? 

I'm wishing for the same thing we just discussed, uh, repairing, repairing what Americana sh- should mean.

And of course, that is going to be in the eye of the beholder, but I think we all can agree that we've gone in a, in a malevolent direction, and We need to start working our way back 

All right. So the next question comes from Linda Cohen. She's from Portland. She is a kindness guru, kindness expert. So her question actually ties back to the question I asked you about New Jersey, the second part of it.

What is something, this is more personal though for you, Ron, what is something that people get wrong about you? 

Oh, there are, there are probably many things people get wrong. But I, I think, uh, I, you know, I, after my accident, maybe, maybe strangely, I've become, uh, more patient with other people, and I, I, I'm willing to let things go in a way that I wasn't able to do before.

And maybe that's counterintuitive that after something like this has happened to you and, and something like that happens. But so many people say things to me, and they mean them in the best ways, and they wanna support me, but sometimes they come off as empty platitudes. But I- Yeah ... I let them all go because I know for the most part, not always, but for the most part, they're meant in the best way and they are well-meaning, and for the most part, I let all those things go.

All right. I like that. So what question do you have... The next person I talked to, one of your fellow neighbors, Joshua from New Orleans, what question do you have for him? 

I would like to ask him whether we can bring some NOLA cuisine to New Jersey, uh, but maybe have it a little healthier than what most NOLA cuisine is, because it's gotta be some of the most unhealthy food, very tasty, mind you.

Uh, so how do we bring the beauty and the flavor, but make it a little bit healthier a- along the way? 

All right. I will ask him that once I sit down with him. Ron, it was awesome that we got to do this. Thanks for putting your ripple into the world and trying to make our union more perfectly imperfect. So, uh, thanks for being here, brother.

Keep pedaling. 

Thanks for having me.

Ron happens to be one of the few guests in this series that I have met in real life. Thanks to our mutual friend, Steve, we have done a bike ride together last year, and Ron's story is so inspirational, and I hope you'll check out more of what he's sharing with the world and his positive ripple effect. I also love his wish for America.

Of course, I think we all know that if we really want to come together, it will take more than just wishing. It will take action. And maybe that action starts with a conversation, a conversation that allows us to be fully seen, heard, and appreciated, or I would say loved, one human to another, even if we don't see the world the same way.

I believe that 97% of people are good. There's a like-heartedness in that goodness. And if we lead with our heart, we can be open to different mindedness. That's how we can come together and form a more perfectly imperfect union. If today's conversation resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone you know.

And if either you or someone you know would like to join me for a conversation, please reach out. And until our next episode in our Perfectly Imperfect Union series, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. Happy birthday, America. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.

And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, MichaelOBrienShift.com and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.