A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Robert Mixon

In the latest episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, I travel to The Sunshine State and connect with Robert Mixon.

He served 33 years as a soldier, became a corporate executive, and now runs Level 5 Associates, a leadership company, from Melbourne, Florida, where his wife, Ruthie, declared their 20th move would be their last.

We talk about his service, the value of waiting two seconds, and what happens every time he comes back home.

You can connect with Robert here, and you can also check out his books while you are there.

And his question for you and our next guest is:

Where do you think your biggest opportunity is in your life?

Share your thoughts in the comments, and share this episode with someone you love.

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Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.

The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic, and we were hurting.

Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic. Of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.

As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.

There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.

Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.

And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not, but my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."

We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your fellow neighbors who is perfectly imperfect like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Robert Mixon

Robert, so good to see you, my friend. Thanks for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you doing today? 

I'm doing well, Michael. Thanks for let- letting me join you and, uh, having a conversation today on, uh, on what matters. 

Yeah. No, I, I'm so glad that we're connected. I had the opportunity, as I do with all the people that have come on the series, to do a little bit of homework about what kind of ripple effect you're putting into the world, and I love what you are currently doing and what you've done to serve the country.

But for those that don't know you, can you take a moment to introduce yourself? And then where the heck in this country are you calling in from? 

Well, okay. Uh, I'm Robert Mixon. Uh, I had the privilege of being a soldier for 33 years. Uh, subsequently a corporate executive, had my own company now, Level 5 Associates, a leadership company, for 11 years, helping individuals and teams, you know, grow leaders and, and grow cultures that are healthy and viable in a world of chaos.

I live in Melbourne, Florida, and, uh, I, I like it here a lot. It's, uh, it's pretty hot right now, but it's, uh- ... it's a, it's a pretty good quality of life. And since this was our 20th move, my spouse, Ruthie, said, "Okay, this is it, dude. We're staying here." And we are. 

Uh, that, I love, I love that story between you and your wife.

I had a boss at one point in time who moved cor- corporately a ton, and we'd... He retired, and we asked, we asked him, I was like, "Well, where, where are you gonna retire to?" He's like, "It's not my call. All the previous moves were basically my call because it was my career. She gets to decide where we move to next."

So, I, I love that. So- Yeah ... Florida is a state that, and of c- of course, most of the nation knows about, but not everybody in the nation has come to visit Florida. We like to think of it as the home of Disney World and maybe Miami and Tampa, some beautiful cities. Uh, so for those that don't know Florida except for You know, the fact that there's Walt Disney World, orange juice, and hot temperatures.

Um, so what's something that's really special about Florida that you guys appreciate? 

I think Florida's one of the crown jewels of the United States. It's not necessarily just a tourist destination, although that's a big core, core element of, uh, of the state's industry. It has a number of other, um, facets that make it a, a great state to live in.

Uh, we have, I think, uh, opportunity to enjoy a number of climates. Um, the heat is, is a factor here this summer, but I could tell you about three months from now, you're really, really glad to live here. And, uh, the, the quality of life is good. You know, the, the, uh, people in, in small, medium, and large, you know, cities in, in Florida tend to have a sense of spirit and, uh, a sense of, uh, pride and independence of being Floridians that I think is really neat, and I'm glad to be a part of it.

And I'll tell you, if you haven't been here, um, there are several. It's like Texas, you know, there's four or five Texas, Texas' if you will. 

Yeah. 

Having lived, uh, you know, in West Texas and in the Hill Country and in Southeast Texas, Florida's much the same way. You have several elements of Texas from the Panhandle to the Keys, and I would encourage people to come and enjoy, uh, the people and the character of this great state.

Yeah, I love it. I love it. I've been-- Through my corporate life, I've traveled in Florida a lot, down to Miami and Tampa, Jacksonville, uh, onto the East Coast, um, like Daytona and places like that. And so to your point, yeah, it's, it's, and it's just not one thing. It's, it's almost like a, a different regions of a great, of, of a great state.

So, uh, yeah, I share, I share that viewpoint with you. So very cool. So one of the things I've been asking people as we dive into this series is really around what America means to them. So, you know, given your service, given your corporate career and your travels, I'm sure you've seen a lot of the country.

So what, um, what does America mean to you, Robert? 

Well, Michael, that's a, that's a powerful question, and I, I would say that, um, it's hard to give it a succinct answer. To me, America is Truly a place that I feel is home. Having been to a whole bunch of other countries, I'm not sure I could name the exact tum- number of them, uh, it's...

I've never returned to this country where I didn't feel glad to be home. 

Sure. 

And, uh, folks who have traveled in other countries I think will appreciate what I'm saying. Even if you've lived in other countries for years, as I have, uh, I think there's still a coming home to America feeling that gives this country a very special place in my heart.

Uh, I love the diversity of America, the fact that we are, uh, you know, as, you know, Hitler calls a nation of shopkeepers. Well, we're more than that. We are a nation of diverse people, of diverse cultures who have blended together, and now in our 250th anniversary to celebrate a remarkable, a remarkable phase in the human journey.

America is a remarkable phase in the human journey, and if we ever take it for granted, shame on us. 

Hmm. Yeah. I think it's easy sometimes when we When we're with something or someone for a long period of time, we can take it for granted. And that point about travel, that's come up in our series. For those that have had the privilege of traveling internationally, seeing different cultures, different perspectives, that sense of coming home again.

Like, you know, it's, it's a sense of stability and a groundedness. So we love to travel away if we can, if we can do so, but it's always good to come back home. And, uh- 

Absolutely ... 

yeah, it feels safe and again, uh, gr- grounding. And when we think about this place as our home, we all have family stories about this place of America and this land.

And we have a ton of great immigration stories. We have, of course, people, families that were here long before it was known as the United States, and we have families that, you know, came here, were forced here through slavery. So there's a lot of different stories that make up our country. Do you know much, Robert, about your family's, uh, story with America?

Well, thanks to my mom, uh, who had a birthday last week, 93 years old. Hi, Mom. All 

right. Go Mom. 

Love you. That's awesome. I'm good. She's awesome. Yeah. She raised six of us pretty much by herself . Wow. That's so cool. And I'm the oldest of six and, and grew up in Georgia and North Carolina, and Mom's taking it on to kind of peel back our family, uh, history.

And so, uh, probably know enough to be dangerous, but I will tell you that, uh- ... that the, the Mixon and Scott family trees, which were the blend in, in, in my case, uh, were primarily immigrants that, uh, were in debtors' prisons over in, in, uh, in England. 

Hmm. 

Uh, which is not a very noble, um, start point. They had the chance to come to initially Georgia to, uh, as sharecroppers to, to escape, uh, the debtors' prison, and were offered after a period of time, you know, the o- some opportunity to, uh- To live independently, uh, uh, after that.

But, uh, came from a, a, a poor background, uh, European roots, and, um, came to, um, again, Georgia, and were primarily, uh, farmers, uh, early on sharecroppers. And, uh, from there, uh, still predominantly the Mixon family at, and, and on my ledger are in the southeastern US, although we've, of course, migrated across the country.

Sure. Yeah. 

And, uh, but it's, it's just wonderful to have-- to read what, what my mom has unearthed here about, uh, some letters and notes from family members going back to the times of James Oglethorpe in the, you know, seven- 1700s and, and 1800s, and, and their struggles, uh, through the, the trauma of the American Civil War, uh, which was devastating for almost everyone who was part of America at that point in time.

I'd say it's everybody, including, uh, my family, where a number of Mixons, uh, perished, um, from, you know, combat or just hardship, uh, during that conflict. But we held together, and we are very proud to be Americans and, um, you know, I just think it's a wonderful legacy, uh, as part of the American story, uh, that my family represents.

Yeah. That's great. Thanks for sharing, Robert. So we didn't talk about this before, but since you shared that Mom just turned 93, and there's so much talk about longevity out there on the internet. So does your mom have any secrets? Like, what's her secret to make it to 93? Does she have one? 

I'll share, uh, some thoughts from Mom, and then I'm sure she'll correct me if I get this wrong.

You know, I think my- Mom, 

if you're listening, be kind to Robert. 

Um, yeah. You know, he's, he's 

serving 

you well. I, I love you, Mom, and, and I hope I get this right. Uh- ... my mom is really an example of balance. You know, I have six leadership principles, and I'm not doing shameless, uh, book promotion here. That's okay.

I'm talking about the fact that- Go for it ... that, you know, uh, one of my six principles is balance, the personal and professional. My mom, uh, she tried hard on to teach me two of the big six principles, and one was listen, and I'm still working on that one 'cause she said, "God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason."

And the second one is balance. You know, you've gotta to take, to take your work seriously, but not yourself. 

Ah. 

And she epitomizes, I think, those two principles. She listens with the intent to understand, as Stephen Covey said- 

Yeah ... 

you know, and not the intent to reply. 

Yep. 

And she has balance in her life because she has a sense of humor and a sense of joy and a sense of purpose that, uh, as Covey and others talked about, the purpose-driven life.

My mom has balance and purpose, uh, in her life. 

Thanks for sharing that. A tip from Mom, a couple tips from Mom. That's, uh, that's perfect And again, congratulations on turning 93 to your mom. So in today's world, th- there's certainly a lot of conversation around how divided we are or feel. Are, are there times, though, where you feel really connected to your fellow American, even if you happen to be in a situation where you know there are differences of opinion, um, and perspectives?

Like, where are those moments for you, Robert, where you feel really connected to your, your fellow neighbor, if you will? 

I think this year has given us a lot of opportunities to do that, Michael, and in my case, I, I think, um, you know, I was, I was with my son who's stationed in Germany on the Fourth of July, uh, because we had a chance to go, to go visit him and his family.

But we celebrated there on, in, in Stuttgart on the military bases there. There was a celebration underway of being Americans, and you could feel it. You could... It was palpable. I think, um, you know, that, that opportunity, the, the Fourth of July experience, and those since then that we've celebrated, uh, well, prior to and since then, during this year have, uh, have sort of galvanized us, I think, a little bit as Americans to bridge some of the, some of the divisiveness and, and diversity.

Uh, not diversity, but diversity in terms of being, being unable to compromise and collaborate. That's what I'm talking about. 

Sure. You 

know, w- we, we need to, to, again, listen with the intent to understand. We need to develop tactical patience to give others' opinions some, some due regard. But this year has been a year of opportunity for us, uh, to grow together, and I've seen a lot of that growing together, and so I think we should be proud of that.

Uh, we've still got a big battle on our hands. We got a big battle with that inability to listen- 

Mm-hmm ... 

and that lack of respect and having regard for others. Um, it's, it, it's a challenge we've got to overcome, but everywhere I go in this country in my travels, and I do travel a fair amount, uh, I don't see people talking about that SOB or that, that warped view of things.

Uh, what I, what I see people talking about is, uh, how can we figure this out? How do we figure out how to learn and grow together? And let's let positivity overshadow negativity and divisiveness. Let's make that the dominant theme in America. 

Love that. It's your concept of what you brought forth is just compromise.

You know, as a country, when we go back to the Founding Fathers, it was a complete compromise, or compromise was part of the building process, and I think we have forgotten how to compromise, to take ideas from all around and find a, a middle path, if you wi- will, so we can move forward and we can have progress.

So I love the fact that you brought in this concept of, uh, compromise because we, we do need to compromise as, as we try to get through life. So thanks for sharing that. 

Yeah. Uh, absolutely, Michael. We, we've got, we've got to take this on. 

Yeah, absolutely. So when we think about taking things on, o- one of the things that I've used as a metaphor for this series and just in general my, my podcast whole, again, is the Japanese art form of Kintsugi, knowing that things do break, uh, we break as people and, and we do feel like there are some cracks in maybe our foundation.

But like that Japanese pottery that becomes Kintsugi, we can find a way to, uh, glue the pieces back together, reconnect, heal, grow from it. We highlight those glue marks with gold, and they become symbols of our strength and resilience. So with that, is there one thing you would like to work on, to focus in on, that can help us reconnect and heal and possibly grow from that healing process in that Kintsugi spirit?

And maybe it's a, how do we get better at really listening to connect and understand, or is there something else? 

No, I think that's a good, uh, that, that's a good target touchstone, Michael. You know, how do, how do we become more effective at listening with the intent to understand? Uh, one of the tools I use in my Big Six leadership programs with individuals and teams is the back brief.

Um, it's the old adage about I don't know what I told you to tell me what you heard. And one of the tools we use in, in the coaching and l- team development is the back brief, where when someone speaks, first of all, you wait two seconds before you respond. So the two-second rule is a precursor to the back brief.

So if we wait two seconds and then we back brief the person that is speaking or the person that's writing on, "This is what I think you said," or, "This is what I understood you- your intent to be." I think that generates respect. It also generates clarity. Many times, and I would say 50 to 60% of messages that are transmitted by email and text are misunderstood by the recipient.

So we're in a, in a, a, a real vacuum here of confirmation that what was heard or said was understood as intended. And that's why, to me, the back brief as part of the listening process is where we can bridge some huge gaps out there, and not just take, uh, you know, the initial, the initial transmission as being fact.

E- And, and there's a high probability that we didn't understand it as it was intended to be understood. But if we use the back brief to confirm it, now we have clarity, and a lot of our miscommunication right now is due to a lack of clarity. So that's where I would go. I would say, "All right, folks, let's start using the back...

the two-second rule and the back brief as the way we communicate with each other. Not this week, not this month. It becomes habit. It becomes the way we do things." 

I like that. So what do you say to people when you bring in this concept of the back brief and they're like, "Yeah, Robert, that sounds great, but, like, I don't have time for that.

We gotta tell people what to do and, like, go. We gotta go. Go, go, go." Um, because adding that extra step certainly takes some time. So how do you, how do you address that? 

In my first manufacturing company, I, I left the Army, a, a command subdivision, two weeks later went to a manufacturing company, and about three or four days later we, of course, headed right into the Great Depression, 2008, 2009.

And I remember, uh, s- overhearing a comment by one of the production supervisors who said, "You know, uh, we, we never have time to do it right the first time, but we always have time to go back and redo it." And I thought, "What a bassackwards view of the world this is." Now, why sh- why should we accept that as the reality?

Why don't we have time to do it right the first time? Well, it becomes the accepted, uh, way of operating that no, we're not, we're not gonna understand. We're not gonna process the information correctly. We're not gonna have the order flow understood clearly, and we're gonna have to redo it. Well, that's a, that philosophy, uh, that warp philosophy cascades into almost every aspect of our, of our communications, uh, as, as people.

And, uh, I, I worked, have worked diligently ever since then to try and, and, uh, help people understand that we do have it right to do... We do have it, the opportunity to do it right the first time, because that is more efficient and more effective than doing it two or three times. Uh, the same with transmitting instructions and, and information and messages with each other.

We ha- we have time to get it right the first time. 

Yeah. I, I love that. And so true, right? So in so many different ways, I think people can relate to say, "Oh, yeah," like, we rush through something, becomes transactional to get onto the next thing. Yeah. And then when that first thing gets a little cockeyed We, uh, we have to find the time to fix it and to get it right.

And so we have the time up front, and if we just spent a little bit more time upstream doing the right communication, the right type of coaching and the development, uh, or just the task at hand, we would save a whole bunch of time and energy downstream. 

You know, as a young officer, uh, I emulated the behaviors of my superior officers.

And so when I had my platoon of 42 soldiers together over there, uh, in, in exercises and maneuvers in, in the West German forest in the middle of the night, 'cause we were patrolling the East West German border in the 11th Cavalry Regiment in those days. I would say, "Okay, troops, this is our mission. This is what we gotta do, and we gotta do it.

Who's gonna lead, follow? We're gonna go north. We gotta get there by midnight. Everybody got it?" "Yes, sir." They'd salute, and then they'd all go off and get in their tanks. I had 10 tanks and bra- and vehicles, and they'd all go different directions. And I would think, "What did... What's wrong with this picture?" I was absolutely clear to myself.

Why the hell didn't they all get this, you know? Why are they, why are they all heading off in the woods in the night, in the rain, in the dark? And I can tell you, Michael, it's very difficult to get a tank to stop in the dark. Yes. Uh, hand and arm signals are not very effective. Yeah. I can tell you that. Um, yelling doesn't do any good.

Nope. That, that 60 ton tank makes a lot of racket when it's troll- you know, cruising- Yeah ... through the forest. And so that, again, harkening back to my back brief, it was years before finally in my, you know, sunk the end of my head, thanks to some mentors who were patient with me, to say, "Robert, don't ask them does everybody get it, because they're all gonna nod."

And in my corporate life, I saw the same thing. We'd have meetings, you know, C-suite team, and boss would say, "Okay, everybody got it?" "Oh, yeah. Well, we got it." And then they go up and do something completely different. And then we'd all have to come back and redo it or come back and figure it out again. Well, what did we miss here?

So that's really it. It's, it permeates our lives here, and, and we just gotta be patient, have the tactical patience to listen with the intent to understand. 

Sure. Yeah. Oh, uh, that's awesome. That's awesome. So in this series, Robert, I've been asking the person in front of you if they have a question that they would like to serve up to you.

So I just spoke with Andy from Oklahoma His question to you, sir, is this one. What's a meal that makes you feel most nostalgic? 

Yeah. Uh, best memories for me were, um, w- when I was a kid, like I said, I grew up oldest of six and, and we, uh, whatever we consumed we t- had to do in mass quantities and at very low, low, uh, cost.

Low cost, mass quantity was our food, uh, r- you know, regimen. And, uh, my favorite was, was macaroni. We used to buy boxes of macaroni and, uh, I would cook a whole box of macaroni and put it in a bowl with butter and, uh, try to fend off my three brothers and two sisters here while I, uh, dined on that fine cuisine.

And to this day, when I can have macaroni with butter as part of a side dish- 

Yeah ... uh, 

not the meal itself, but a side dish maybe with, uh, a, a piece of, uh, baked chicken or, you know, a hot dog and mustard, it brings back the memories of, uh, of those days of, uh, what was really comfort food for me, and that was macaroni with butter on it.

I love it. W- as you're sharing that, Robert, what came up for me is my mom used to, uh, grill up pork chops for us and the side dish with pork ch- at pork chop night was always macaroni and butter. So, uh, thanks for, uh, serving that- ... memory up for me as well, so that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Love it. So what question, Robert, do you have for the next person I chat with in our series?

Uh, my question would be, where do you think your biggest opportunity is in your life? 

All right. Well, I will definitely ask that question of the next person I talk to in our series. I love it. Thanks for joining me here. Again, thanks for your service to our country, Robert, and the ripple effect you're putting into the world today, and really just helping us form a more perfectly imperfect union.

So I appreciate you. Again, thanks for being here. 

Thanks, Michael, and, uh, I wish you well and, and, and God bless all of us. God bless America. 

Yes, God bless America. Uh, may peace be with all of us. 

Indeed.

I love hearing stories like Robert's 'cause they're part of our tapestry that make up America. He grew up with not much. He went on to serve our country and then went into corporate America. Now he's teaching others how to lead. I love it. And I also love his question, what's your biggest opportunity? So let me know in the comments section.

And as always, thanks for being here. Thanks for listening as we reflect on America at 250 years old. And remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.

And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.

Key Takeaways

Robert Mixon served 33 years as a soldier before becoming a corporate executive and founding Level 5 Associates, a leadership company based in Melbourne, Florida.

Mixon and his wife Ruthie have moved 20 times, with their most recent move to Florida being their last planned relocation.

The episode explores themes including military service, corporate leadership, the value of waiting two seconds, and what happens when Mixon returns home.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Robert Mixon's current role?

He runs Level 5 Associates, a leadership company located in Melbourne, Florida.

How long did Robert Mixon serve as a soldier?

He served 33 years as a soldier.

What is the main question Robert Mixon poses to listeners?

Where do you think your biggest opportunity is in your life?