Ted Lasso Episode 8 Season 4 - You Matter: A Key for Resilience - Whole Again: Mindfulness and Resilience Through Kintsugi Wisdom

What happens when the concern fades, and all that's left is silence?

Alice knows. And in episode eight of Ted Lasso season four, she finally says it out loud.

I know it too.

Apple titled this one "Follow the Anger." Michael has a better name for it: The Road Back. It's the stage of the hero's journey (or in Alice's case, the she-ro's journey) where our hero believes she's found her way home, only to be tested one more time.

When Gemma goes down mid-match chasing a hat trick, all of Alice's old career-ending pain rushes back to the surface. Alice asks Rebecca to promise that Gemma won't disappear in real time, and that from the bottom of the organization to the very top, Gemma will know she still matters. Not just as a player. As a person.

Resilience was never meant to be a solo ride. We all need a peloton.

Think of someone who's going through something and hasn't heard from you in a while. Reach out today. One call or one message might be the reminder they need that they haven't been forgotten.

You can now download my Pause Breathe Reflect App with Microdose EQ for FREE on Apple’s App Store or Google Play. Discover how to spend less time on your phone and more time on things that bring you joy. Also, find the support you need to navigate today’s uncertainty with more calm and grace.

Receive a FREE copy of my book: “My Last Bad Day Shift.”

We can also connect on LinkedIn.

Subscribe to be sure you don’t miss any of the micro-meditations, wellness tips, and guidance that I publish every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7:11 am.

Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of the person you're becoming and a meaningful life. And today, we're up to episode number eight of season four of Ted Lasso, and the series I'm doing to celebrate season four, and it's all about taking the lessons from Lasso, which can so often be tied back to the central themes here on Whole Again, those being mindfulness and resilience, and seeing how we can weave them into our lives to help us step into the person we're becoming and our quest to create more meaning in our life.

Now, Apple labeled episode number eight as Follow the Anger, and I understand why they labeled it as such, but I really think a more appropriate title for this episode would be The Road Back, because it ties into the arc that we've been talking about here on Whole Again as it relates to season four all around the hero's journey, or maybe in this particular case, the she-ro's journey, because my focus in these recaps have been really around Alice.

So you might recall from two episodes ago, we reached the ordeal, the crisis, if you will. I called that episode The Messy Middle. That's when Alice really got tested, and Ted suspended her for a bit. Now, last week's episode was all about the reward, that part of the hero's journey where our hero learns a bit of new knowledge, some wisdom that, in this particular case, she can take on her road back.

And last week was all around the power of yes, and, the power of an abundant mindset. But when we enter the period known as the road back in the hero's journey, the hero is probably thinking, "All right, I got this. I can do this. I can find my way back home." But they get tested, and that's what happens in this episode Now, this episode also includes Roy and Kiwi.

You could almost say they have elements of the road back. I'll let you watch to understand what I mean by that. But I really want to, in this recap, focus in on Alice, because this episode, and I've watched it now a couple times, there's a scene that makes me cry each and every time. So let me set the stage for you.

Again, no spoilers. We're watching a match. The Lady Greyhounds are doing really well. They're climbing up the standings in their league. Gemma has already scored two goals, and she wants to go for a hat trick, three goals in one game. And she falls down. She's hurt. We don't know how badly she's hurt, but this brings back all of Alice's post-traumatic stress from her past injuries that ended her career.

So she's feeling it It's natural. She's human, just like any of us. For me, you can almost feel the hurt coming up to the surface for her, and she decides to go visit Gemma at her home to see how she's doing. But that visit doesn't go very well because of all the emotions of the situation. Gemma feels like quitting, and Alice doesn't want to hear any of that.

And there's a bit of snapping at each other, and then Alice leaves in a huff. But later she goes to visit Rebecca, and as an executive leadership coach, I'm gonna give Rebecca lots of props that she has an open door policy that anyone can walk in and bend her ear. Alice comes in and says this: "When you get injured as a player, it's hard, and in the moments right after, you're surrounded by concerned faces from your fellow players, your coaches, your manager, and then that concern starts to fade until all you have is silence as people try to figure out how they're gonna move forward without you or how they're going to return to their normal lives," which is, again, perfectly natural.

My words, not Alice's. She goes on to say to Rebecca, "I know you have a business to run, and I respect that, but Gemma needs to know that she's not disappearing in real time." And she asks Rebecca to promise that that won't happen here from the bottom to the very top of the organization, because Gemma needs to know that she still matters, not just as a player, but as a person.

Then she thanks Rebecca and starts to walk away, and then Rebecca does something amazing She says, "Hey, Alice, thanks for letting me know what Gemma means to the team and to you." Then she goes on to say, "Don't you think it would be great for her to know that?" Just recounting this and sharing that scene with you, and I didn't do it word by word, makes me well up because if you've ever been sick or had a setback or been injured, whenever or wherever it might be, you know what Alice is speaking to.

At first, there's an outpouring of support, and then it starts to get quiet. Then it can be just you. And so certainly you have your friends and family around you. They know what you're up to, what you happen to be going through. They might not ask you questions about, "Hey, how do you feel today?" They may or may not, but everyone else, if you posted something, say, on one of the social media platforms, there's an outpouring of support.

It can feel really good in the moment, and I say this from experience. But then it gets really quiet and you might get a few people asking you, "Hey, do you feel, um, do you feel normal again? Are you back to normal?" And the expectation I'm setting is not to pepper someone with a question every day, "Hey, I'm just checking in," over and over again.

But there is a middle way between that initial outpouring of support from so many and the silence that can surface just a few days or weeks from the initial news. You can feel like you have been forgotten. And I could feel it, and if you watch this episode, I trust you can feel it too. We don't know much about what happened to Alice back in her playing days, but you can feel it coming out in that scene with Rebecca, that she felt forgotten, not only as a player, but as a person.

So Alice, in her hero's journey, is finding new skills and wisdom, ways of showing up differently as a person and as a coach. She's advocating for Gemma. And with Rebecca's prompt, "Hey, don't you think it would be great if Gemma knew that?" Alice goes back to Gemma's home and has a more open and vulnerable, if you will, conversation.

That's part of, I think, Alice's growth is her ability to be vulnerable now This is all part of her Kintsugi healing and growth. So I talk about resilience a lot. It's part of my story here on Whole Again, and I believe that we are all resilient people, but we can't do this alone. We need a peloton to go down the road as safe and as quickly and as far as possible.

One of my trauma nurses on the day of my last bad day came to visit me in the hospital after I came out of the ICU, and she shared this with me. She shared, "Michael, no one is promised tomorrow. Make sure the people in your life know that you love them." And I think this episode and that bit of advice that I got from Nurse Jane is essential when you think about living a meaningful life, letting the people in your life know how much you love them, letting them know that they're not forgotten, especially if they happen to go through something.

And yes, it's easier in our inner circle to let those people know how much we love them and to check in because we come in contact with them with much more frequency. But there are people in the outer circles, people that still matter, people that have created a ripple effect in our lives. Even they need to hear it, that they have not been forgotten about.

I think one of the shitty things that happens in corporate America is all around short-term disability, the rule that you can't reach out to the employee if they're on leave. Now, some people are going through something so extreme that they don't want work to contact them, but there are other cases where it's nice to hear from the boss or a colleague And I know companies have to have, like, a hard and fast rule, but I also like to think that we can have some flexibility.

I'm not sure what the right solution there is, but I do think overall in society, letting people know they still matter even as they're going through something, that helps them, and it also helps us. So as you go forward this week, you might know someone who might be going through something, and it's been a while since you've reached out to them.

My encouragement to you is reach out today. Let that person know that they still matter as a person, that they're not forgotten about. This is how we stay connected. This is how we build community. So I hope you'll do that for yourself and that person that you're reaching out to.

I also wanna thank you for being here and listening. I hope you're checking out the series I'm doing all summer in addition to the Ted Lasso series called A Perfectly Imperfect Union, where I'm talking to everyday Americans about how they feel about our country at year 2050. I'll have another episode for you tomorrow.

But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.

And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.

Key Takeaways

In Ted Lasso season 4 episode 8, Alice confronts her past trauma when Gemma is injured mid-match, forcing her to revisit career-ending pain from her own playing days.

Alice asks Rebecca to ensure Gemma knows she matters as a person, not just as a player, emphasizing that resilience requires community support rather than individual effort alone.

The episode is titled 'Follow the Anger' by Apple but represents 'The Road Back' stage of the hero's journey, where the protagonist faces a final test before finding their way home.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the main conflict Alice faces in this episode?

When Gemma is injured chasing a hat trick, Alice's old career-ending pain resurfaces, forcing her to confront her past trauma.

What does Alice ask Rebecca to promise?

Alice asks Rebecca to promise that Gemma will know she matters as a person throughout the organization, from bottom to top.

What stage of the hero's journey does this episode represent?

The Road Back stage, where the hero believes they've found their way home but face one final test.