A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Katy Talento

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two Springer Spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else.</p>
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<p>But here, I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old. And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not.</p>
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<p>But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me.</p>
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<p>So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your perfectly imperfect neighbors, like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Katie Talento</p>
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<p>Katie, my friend, so good to see you. Thanks for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How the heck are you? </p>
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<p>I'm great. Thanks so much for having me, Michael. It's wonderful to be with you. </p>
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<p>Yeah, it's so great, and it's so great that one of our previous guests on the series, Tiffany, put us together. I just love what you're putting into the world, and I've had a chance to read up on your ripple effect.</p>
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<p>But for those that don't know you, can you take a moment to introduce yourself? And also, where the heck in this country are you calling in from? </p>
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<p>Yeah. So I am in Virginia at the very tippy top of Virginia, where Maryland and West Virginia and Virginia all meet around the Potomac River. </p>
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<p>Nice. </p>
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<p>Yeah. So, um, yeah, I work on and I write about healthcare and how to disrupt it for good and not for evil.</p>
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<p>That's basically- </p>
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<p>Right. </p>
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<p>That's </p>
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<p>what I do. That's, uh, we ne- yeah, we need, uh, we need more of that. So, uh- Yes ... so out of curiosity, I, I g- I spent some time in Virginia myself. I went to school down in Harrisonburg at good old James Madison, and then I found my way up into Northern, uh, Virginia. So I know the Commonwealth pretty well.</p>
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<p>But for those that haven't been to the beautiful Commonwealth of Virginia, what's something that's really cool about it? </p>
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<p>So, I mean, the thing that I love about Virginia is that we have everything you want. We have both beaches and mountains, you know? We have, like, the Appalachian Trail and the Atlantic.</p>
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<p>Um, for me, I kind of am always torn between those two. I don't wanna have to pick, like, live in Florida- ... you know, or live in Tennessee. I g- I want them both. Yes. So, um, and we have four beautiful seasons, none of which is too painful. Um, but I think obviously the m- the thing I love the most about the state is the history.</p>
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<p>You know, we have- George Washington and Mount Vernon, who led the revolution, and J- uh, Thomas Jefferson, who founded my alma mater at UVA, um, who wrote the Declaration, and James Madison wrote the Constitution. You know, like, we have almost one in five presidents have come from Virginia. You know, we've got, like, the seat of the Confederacy and, you know, all around us are, like, battlefields and cemeteries.</p>
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<p>I have a cemetery across from my house that's a Union cemetery, which, you know, my town being right on the tippy top was kind of, mm, not so Civil War-y. Little more Union friendly, and also a little more loyalist, or royalist during the Revolution too. So we, we've always been that way. But I just, I love Virginia.</p>
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<p>We're kind of both bossy and rebellious and ungovernable generally, and I love it here. </p>
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<p>Yeah, no, it's a b- I, it's a beautiful place. It's some of the... Like, for me, that Shenandoah Valley, it's like a gem, and there's something about, something that just feels grounded. But then yeah, if you wanna get into, um, you're only a short drive to DC and to Richmond and some city life.</p>
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<p>And yeah, to your point, I love states that have a little bit of everything. Like, so I'm in, I'm in New Jersey, and it's, I, I will say it's not the same as Virginia, but we got, we got the, we got the Jersey Shore, and we get, we get some of the Appalachian Trail and some of the mountains, although the people out west won't consider them mountains, but we do.</p>
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<p>Uh, so I am, I am tracking with what you're laying down there, so I love it. I love it. So I've been asking people in this series, as America turns or has already turned 250 years old, what America means to them. So how would you respond? </p>
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<p>So I mean, I, obviously we're, like, the only country founded on an idea.</p>
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<p>And, you know, we're n- not, like, a religious group or an ethnic group or a geographic, you know, place or whatever. Like, it's, it's not the usual country origin. And, you know, we were founded by, like, crazy people- ... taking crazy chances. You know, like, doing crazy shit. And, um- Yes My husband, he was born in Italy and came here as a baby, and he often speaks about, like he's still got lots of family back home, whatever.</p>
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<p>He often speaks about the type of people who leave the old world and the type of people who stay, and they're not the same. And I think that that like wild, ungovernable like genes or culture or both, it, it just makes us amazing. </p>
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<p>It really does. Y- you know, when you think about it, like, you know, a lot of conversation around the Founding Fathers and what they were thinking at the time, but, you know, keep in mind like if they were totally sane, they probably would've...</p>
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<p>They might have stayed back. You know, they, they took like a bold move to do something like a lot of people thought was impossible, right? Like, there's no way they're gonna be successful. So they, they might have like a screw or two loose, uh, in a good way to like create, create this, uh, on this great experiment, this great idea.</p>
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<p>So yeah, the people that forge ahead are just a bit crazy in probably a really cool way, but- Yeah ... uh, not, not as grounded and stable and certain as we wanna make them seem to be. So, um- </p>
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<p>No, I think your greatest, your greatest strength is always your greatest weakness, </p>
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<p>so. Yes, </p>
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<p>absolutely. Yes. We're a little nuts, and we're- Yes</p>
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<p>also a little nuts. </p>
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<p>A little nuts. It, uh, yeah, it, uh, both sides of the coin there. So, so really cool that your husband has a story coming to America, and a lot of us do. Obviously, some families were already here before it was America, and some people came here, uh, under force through slavery, of course, and a lot of oth- the rest of the families here in America have an immigration story mainly.</p>
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<p>And so do you, do you know much about your story, your own family story with coming to this country? </p>
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<p>Yeah, I mean, my, my mother's family was here as far back as we can, like, find. I mean, it just, it keeps going. Um, and then of course her family, like everyone in Oklahoma, which is where they eventually landed, e- everyone there is, you know, part Native too, right?</p>
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<p>Yes. So we all, we're all just like mutts of all sorts. Um, and but my, my dad's family are Irish immigrants, so they trace back in the records to, like, you know, the Irish migration in the late 1800s. But they all converged in Texas, which is where my extended family all is, where I was born. My parents were the black sheep that moved east from the west.</p>
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<p>Yeah. Yeah. Which is very un-American, Doc. Just regularly. Very, very. You're supposed to go west, young person. Yes, yes. You know, explore. Exactly. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Wow, that's so cool. When I rode my bike across the country and I got into Kansas, and, uh, this is no disrespect to the people of the great state of Kansas, but there are times where I was in the state and I, I thought about, like, the western migration, and I wondered, why would someone stop here?</p>
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<p>Like- Right. Why, like, like what about that moment was like, "Yeah, I think this is a good place to stop"? Like, it was so humid and so hot, and the corn was growing and all that jazz, uh, at least on my trip, and I thought, "Wouldn't you be curious to see, like maybe what's down the street just a little bit further?"</p>
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<p>But, you know, luckily people </p>
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<p>stopped, you know- I think they stop where there's the first, like, you know, empty farmland, </p>
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<p>right? Yeah, a- absolutely. Just like, take it. Like, we're gonna take it. A, a bird in hand beats two in the bush, right? So as the, as the old adage goes. So I know there's been a lot of, as we all know, there are a lot of dialogue and conversation through the media, social media and otherwise about like how, how divided we feel as a country nowadays.</p>
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<p>But are there moments where you feel really connected to your- Your fellow neighbor, maybe, uh, maybe not the neighbor literally next to you, but, you know, just y- you feel connected to your neighbors in America, even though you might be with them and you might see the world a little bit differently than they do.</p>
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<p>Yeah, I think the time when I most, like, just wanna cling to other Americans like a dying man is when I'm overseas, you know? And you, like, you run into the expat community, and there's all these, like, Europeans who kind of hate us and whatever. Like, people from all over the world, Canadians, who hate us, and then you find the Americans, right?</p>
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<p>And it's just like this, ugh, you know, all the cultural references are the same. All your food preferences are the same. You know all the same music and it's just, my gosh, it's so wonderful, and you have, like, that 4th of July celebration or that Thanksgiving celebration somewhere else overseas. It's the time I've felt, like, the most joyful to be American.</p>
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<p>Yeah, no, I c- I, I have felt that. I'm, I didn't go to, as I mentioned, I went to JMU, but I had a friend who went to Auburn University. And so at Auburn they have a rallying cry at the football games, or really for their whole school. They, they say, "War Eagle," right? </p>
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<p>War Eagle. </p>
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<p>And- </p>
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<p>That's </p>
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<p>right ... and so I was in Paris, uh, walking up the Champs-Élysées, and there was a guy walking down, and he had an Auburn baseball cap on, and I just walked past him.</p>
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<p>We didn't even give each other eye contact, and I just said, "War Eagle," and he was like, "War Eagle," back. And it was like, oh, yeah, that's an American connection right there. So I was like- </p>
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<p>Yeah ... </p>
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<p>so, uh- </p>
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<p>We have something similar at UVA, you know? Like, wahoowa. You can- Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, absol- All, a- </p>
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<p>anywhere in the world.</p>
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<p>Yeah. You see some UVA gear. You see the orange- Yep ... and blue, or, or like- Yep ... orange and blue, right? Yeah. Yep. So, um- Yep</p>
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<p>very cool.</p>
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<p>So the metaphor I'm using for this series is Kintsugi, the, the art form, Japanese art form, where things might break, but we can put it back together, and we can highlight those scar lines in gold, and they become our golden repair and symbols of our strength and resilience. So if you could pick, like, one thing that can help us maybe reconnect and heal and potentially grow going forward, what would that be in, in our Kintsugi spirit?</p>
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<p>You know, I think I would restore medicine from, like, the corporatocracy, um, that it is to, like, just get, getting back to a true sort of economy of healing that's based on traditional living in nature and the, with, with the rhythms of nature instead of trying to dominate and conquer and overcome nature.</p>
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<p>Um, you know, we've become so sick due to the business interests of, like, these giant conglomerates and systems that control our health, and- I think the ways of true healing and human living are known to us, but they're forgotten and, and they're very difficult to recapture and rekindle in our modern life.</p>
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<p>But, um, you know, real food, sleep, sunlight, and movement, connection with each other. Yeah. </p>
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<p>Amen to it all. Like, I, over the weekend, I went back home to celebrate my dad's 90th birthday. </p>
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<p>Oh, that's so great. </p>
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<p>You know, and I, you know... So he had, he had, like, 30 of his fellow residents from his independent living community.</p>
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<p>So he's still on his own. He's got his own, uh, independent living apartment. And, and there was one woman, one of his neighbors, she'll be 8- uh, 104 in October. </p>
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<p>Amazing. </p>
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<p>Amazing. And so I asked him, I'm like, "Hey, you know, like, uh, what's, what's the secret?" You know, like, you know. "There's, like, a whole bunch of, like, longevity experts out there.</p>
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<p>Like, uh, what's the secret, Dad, like, to get to 90?" And at first he was like, "Ah, I don't know." And then I was like, "Come on," like, you know, "Your, your grandkids are here. Like, you know, pass on a little bit of wisdom." And he was like, "Well, you know-" Yeah, </p>
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<p>yeah. </p>
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<p>He was like, "You know, I, I try to, I try to get on my extra sp- exercise bike every day.</p>
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<p>I try to move. I try to be of service and offer kindness to people. I, I pray, I try to pray every day. I try to watch what I eat." You know, it was like, it was, you know, "I try to get some good sleep." Although he should be t- although, although he should be taking a nap every afternoon, but that's my own thing.</p>
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<p>It's my own hang-up for him. But, but it was like, it was, like, the basic building blocks of a healthy life. And then of course, like, get outside, be in the nature that we're... We are nature, so be the nature that we're a part of. Like, reconnect, get off your damn phone and, like, just go out and smell the trees, right?</p>
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<p>So, uh- </p>
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<p>Yeah, I mean, every species has species-specific requirements, and we do too. And none of us are really, like, living them at all, and so we're breaking apart because we don't. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Like, we have very, very simple requirements. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>And that's what they are. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Your dad knows. </p>
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<p>Yep, absolutely. Too much TikTok and Taco Bell is not good for the soul.</p>
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<p>So, so, so in the, in the series, I've been asking the person in front of you that I just chatted with if they have a question for you. And, and their, their desire, uh, one of their wishes, their Kintsugi wish for the country is to infuse more kindness, uh, into the world. And actually starting with some self-kindness, and then if we offer ourselves kindness, then we can extend kindness to other people.</p>
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<p>So her question is around kindness and where are you trying to infuse more kindness into the world? </p>
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<p>Yeah. So, um, I am, like, brutally vicious to myself inside my own head, and so I have been working on that for a few years of, uh, you know, the radical self-acceptance is almost the battle of all our lives.</p>
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<p>But, um- And, and once you have that radical self-acceptance, it's so much easier to radically accept others. Sure. Um, when you like just shut, shut, like stab in the chest and tie up in the cellar like the inner critic, um, it's, it's ... I think that's the greatest gift I can give my family is to like stop doing that to myself 'cause then it's just so much easier not do it to them.</p>
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<p>And, um, so I think that inner critic, uh, honestly, you know, like the things you just talked about, staying off the screens and whatnot, like all these comparators out there in the world that like previous generations of humans never had, like effing with their self-esteem, you know? Um, and you know, when you're out in nature you don't hate yourself, you don't really hate other people.</p>
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<p>Like so I think that's so critical, um, to really like connect with nature so much and, and being kind to nature and viewing nature as like our greatest blessing and gift and like source of healing and yeah. </p>
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<p>I, I love what you just said as far as comparison. Like for me growing up, you know, there was the old adage, you know, trying to keep up with the Joneses but really the Joneses were just someone on your block in your neighborhood or maybe- Right</p>
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<p>maybe at your church or synagogue or wherever you'd go to worship, and that was it. That was your world. That was your world of comparison. It was just the Joneses up the street and you were trying to compete with them. And now with technology everybody is the j- are the Joneses. Yeah. And there's like so many people to compare yourself to, and that just fires up that gremlin in our head and a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves.</p>
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<p>Yeah. Yeah. The Joneses are Elon and- Yes. Yeah ... you know. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Priyanka Chopra, whatever. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So what question do you have for the next person I chat with? </p>
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<p>Okay. So of the ... That's a ... That's like fun and you caught me off, off guard. But of the 10 Bill of Rights items, which is your favorite and the most important, um, and why?</p>
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<p>Wow. That's a good one. Oh, I can't wait to hear what the next person has to say about that. I will definitely ask him that question when I chat with him in the series. So Katie, thanks so much for being here and accepting a random outreach, you know. Uh- Thank you ... with a, with, with at least a, a warm email introduction, but I love the ripple effect you're putting into the world and helping us become a more perfectly imperfect union, so I appreciate what you're doing, so thank you.</p>
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<p>Right back at you. Thank you so much. And keep it up. Keep doing what you're doing. </p>
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<p>We're going to keep pedaling all the way through the, the nation, so yeah, thank you so much. Peace. </p>
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<p>All right. Take care.</p>
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<p>I love Katie's energy, and now I know why she's friends with Tiffany, who is also part of this series. Tiffany has over-the-top energy, and I love what Katie's doing to help us rethink about health, and I think she's right. The Founding Fathers were a little crazy in a good way. Let me know what you picked up from our conversation, and as always, thanks for being here.</p>
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<p>I hope you're checking out the rest of the series, because I've had the privilege of talking to amazing humans like Katie through this whole series, and it's given me hope that we can find a way to come together, to heal, and eventually grow into that perfectly imperfect union that the Founding Fathers envisioned for us.</p>
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<p>And I'll have new episodes all next week, as well as episodes of Whole Again that can help you step into the person you're becoming and a meaningful life. But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>