A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Carrie Haney

<p> Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.</p>
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<p>And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
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<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. And if you're ready to get to know one of your perfectly imperfect neighbors, like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Carrie Haney</p>
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<p>Carrie, my friend, thank you for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union and accepting a random outreach to do so. So how are you feeling today? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I'm feeling wonderful. It's, you know, Monday morning. Uh, I have a beautiful week ahead of me. I have some really exciting things in my life happening this week, so I'm just excited to have a fun conversation to kick off a great week.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Absolutely. We'll do, uh, exactly that. So I, I know enough about you, I guess, to be dangerous based on what I've found on LinkedIn and so, like in our back and forth leading up to this. I know that we're in the same space when it comes to contemplative practices and mindfulness and meditation. But for those that don't know who you are, can you take a minute to introduce yourself?</p>
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<p>And also, what great state in this country are you calling in from? </p>
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<p>Well, I am calling in from the most beautiful spot in Montana right now. Uh, this is a new home for me. I've only been here a few months. And I travel the country seasonally, so a lot of places are my home temporarily. And- It's a quite fascinating way to exist, um, to see this country.</p>
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<p>But right now it's Montana, and it's fantastic. Summer here is next level in terms of nature and wildlife and beauty and weather. It's just so cool. Um, but a little bit more about me. Yes, we are in the same space. Uh, I'm a meditation teacher. I'm a yoga teacher. Uh, but I didn't start out that way. This is pretty much a new thing in my life.</p>
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<p>Um, I was a marketing leader for a long, long time and just found that it was too fast of a life for me. So the earliest opportunity I had to slow down, I made some radical changes and, um, those have served me very well. Uh, I've been out west for about 14 years, and I love every mountain range that I get to explore.</p>
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<p>But, uh, deep down, I'm a Southern belle. Uh, I'm a, I'm a Georgia girl. </p>
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<p>Oh. All right. Okay. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>How about that? So what drew you into meditation? W- were you into contemplative practices a- as a marketing professional, or was it like life is going fast and I need to find some type of practice to help me slow down?</p>
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<p>Yes, that one, the former. Uh, you know, learning about yourself as you go through life, I just found myself to be wired really tightly, and I could get wound up really easily. And sometimes that momentum is really good in a career or in a lifestyle, and sometimes it's really detrimental. And so yoga had been a practice since my early 20s, mainly for physical release, bodily release.</p>
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<p>Um, but then I started finding those still moments of meditation and that was a, a true gift to find. Um, and so in the hardest moments, um, as I got, um, some news of my dad having a long-term illness, I just really started reflecting on how can I make some internal changes and feel better? And I started diving into brain health a lot, and that's, I think, where the two things merged together, that nervous system approach but also the mental health, um, the brain health approach really led me on a deep dive into meditation, um, a lot of studying, a lot of practice, and it's just served me so well that I can't get enough of it and I can't not share it.</p>
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<p>And so I took the leap to move to teaching that and, you know, I think we're all teachers in our own right, especially if something is really impactful in our lives. We can all teach. And just kinda stepped into that space and I'm trying it on and it's, it's working pretty well. </p>
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<p>That's awesome. That's awesome.</p>
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<p>I, the, the, I think in today's world where it just seems to be going faster and faster, what, what you experienced earlier in your career, you know, having a practice of yoga which gives us that interoception of our body, our, our body awareness along with a practice where we can also be still, but as you know, with meditation it can still involve some movement.</p>
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<p>So we, we find a, a great way to connect with ourselves and understand ourselves in this very complex, uncertain, uh, faster and faster world where we can actually create some space to, uh, make some wise decisions. So I'm glad, I'm glad-- You know, o- obviously we go through some of the pain points in our lives and th- the big question is always, like, uh, w- would you change it, right?</p>
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<p>Or would you try to avoid it? And I th- most people I talk to, it's like, "No, like I, I needed to go through what I needed to go through in order to be here today. All those moments sh- shaped me." And I'm glad you found Montana. Like, when I went across the nation on my bike, Montana, I was, I was-- When I reached Montana, I was like, you know what?</p>
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<p>Their tourism marketing manager or director had it spot on when they say Montana's Big Sky Country 'cause I was like, oh my God, it's so gorgeous here. And then coming from Montana down into Yellowstone and then the yellow, yellow-- from Yellowstone into the Grand Tetons, uh, that is my screensaver on my phone.</p>
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<p>So when I need a moment where I feel like I need to get grounded, I, I actually look at my phone. I don't go into my phone, I just look at the photo on the phone. So, um, Montana, for those that haven't been, is fantastic and people should go, get there. </p>
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<p>I can't imagine that experience on a bike but I, I mean, just trying to, I can understand why that was a moment, why that's a screensaver, for sure.</p>
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<p>Yeah. There were like wildflowers and the sunny day, and there was a bison nearby. You know, most people go through Yellowstone and they go through it in a car or an RV. And one, I should say Take heed, don't get too close to the bison . So wh- some people each year, uh, don't take that advice from the park rangers.</p>
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<p>So, uh, my advice is stay far enough away from the bison. But there is something about going through our beautiful nature at the speed you go, you travel with on a bike that just allows you to soak it in a little bit differently than as we, uh, uh, speed by it. So, um, well, one of the questions I've been asking people i- as you gather with friends, um, this summer, especially as we think about America turning, uh, as it has turned 250 years old, and someone would ask you, "Hey Kerry, what does America mean to you?"</p>
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<p>Uh, how would you respond to that question? </p>
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<p>What does America mean to me? Uh, in my circles, that conversation around a great meal or a campfire would really hinge on freedom, I think. Uh, whether that's freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of choice of lifestyle, um, all of it, and, uh, a deep reverence for that freedom that's been hard-bought many times by the bravest people of our country.</p>
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<p>A lot have endured also just, you know, hardship to choose to pursue and demand freedom. So it's just a gift, and when you think about living elsewhere, how you may have to really filter yourself in a specific way or live within a lot more constraints, I think that America is so accepting and generally and, and deeply so loving with its people.</p>
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<p>When you really get down to it, it's that freedom of spirit, and it's that aliveness that allows us to be the quirky, wonderful, unique country that we are, right? And for us to really chase things that light us up, you know? Um, I... When I decided I was done with one career and wanted a new one, you know, I'm not living in a country where there's limited opportunity.</p>
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<p>I love that I live in a country where you can reinvent yourself and be as authentic as you want to be and be accepted, and that we have the freedom to really do that. I think that's beautiful. </p>
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<p>Yeah, I love, I love what you just shared 'cause there's some... There is something about travel that's come up in this series, and I've experienced this in my own life.</p>
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<p>When we travel outside the country and we- You know, our, our aperture, uh, uh, widens, it, it grows, the real... And we s- sometimes realize maybe how good we have it here, but we might have taken some of our freedoms for granted, or maybe we're not well-educated on some of our freedoms or what went down in order to, um, have them.</p>
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<p>So travel is just a great, a great lens to look through. It, it definitely changes our perspective. And to your point, just the ability to, like, to reinvent ourselves, right? And so I was, over the weekend, I was up visiting my dad. He turned 90. He had-- we threw a little surprise party for him, and one of his neighbors came, and she, she's gonna be 104 in October, Ginny.</p>
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<p>So Ginny, Ginny is a pistol. She is, she's sharp as a tack. She's walking around, you know, quick-witted, the whole thing. And s- what she shared was, "I lived a v- very unusual life for a woman of my generation and my age." She went through, based on our conversation, seven different careers So when you think about it, it's like 104, and so she seemed to do everything under the sun.</p>
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<p>And again, uh, very atypical of a woman of her generation, but, uh, uh, her work and, like, how she went into life along with other women, um, makes it possible for women today to have a variety of different experiences and different careers. And, um, I think one of the things that also has come up in the series is just how we can reinvent ourselves and the opportunities that we have, uh, which is, which is great, and not a lot of other places have it to the degree that maybe we can be, um, uh, we can think of different possibilities for ourselves.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. I love that story. 104. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Wow. </p>
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<p>Yeah, 104. She's, like, a total, um, whippersnapper, and like, she was... You know, I could have spoken to her, like, all day long. My dad used to, uh, and my dad and her used to go out back when they were both driving for root beer floats, so which is, you know, which is such, like, a cute picture.</p>
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<p>They g- they go to the local, like, uh, hamburger joint that has root beer float specials from 3:00 to 4:00 in the afternoon, and they would get a root beer float, and just seeing the two of them doing that is, like, so, so adorable. So, um, so with this, with this country, like, where we've been, and this has been growing over the last 10 years, 20 years, we can probably pick our duration of time, but we definitely feel like we might be or, or we are divided.</p>
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<p>There's a separation. There's also a degree of loneliness, but there's, there's some tension in our lives and when we think about how we look at the world and all the different worldviews, and that's something also that came up during my ride across the country. Just, you know, based on where we happen to grow up, we're gonna have, uh, different views of the world.</p>
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<p>So where do you feel most connected to your fellow American? Even, like, even if you're with people that might not agree with your worldview, are there moments where you feel that, where you feel that connection? </p>
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<p>Absolutely. Um, yeah, like I think about the Olympics, you know, when- Oh, </p>
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<p>yeah ... </p>
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<p>yeah, like, you know, so there could be whatever divisive uh, thing happening, but it seems like the Olympics come on and everyone just really rallies together, you know?</p>
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<p>There's this feeling of connectedness that happens. All the nations compete with their best at one place where everyone wants to be. You know, no matter where it's held in the world, everyone wants to be there. I haven't gone yet, but I hope I can soon. Um, you know, and there's anthems, and there's flags, and there's ceremony, and time to honor each nation.</p>
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<p>And everyone loves some sport that's in the Olympics. Something interests you, and so it gives us this opportunity to really get behind our people and get behind, you know, these... have these proud moments, um, and, uh, have that healthy competition. I think the Olympics are just, you know, every four years really feeling that USA vibe, and it brings a lot of people together.</p>
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<p>Um- </p>
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<p>I love that. Yeah. </p>
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<p>Yeah. But I'll say another one. You know And I call these designation days. I don't know what other people call them, but let's say, you know, National Diabetes Day, um, you know, National what- whatever, car wreck, you know, all kinds of things. Um, National Meditation Day I particularly love, right?</p>
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<p>Yeah. And some of them extend globally as well. But what you see when we have those designation days is that there's a heightened focus on shared experience and passion, and we see stories bubble up on social media. We see local events taking place to bring people together, uh, you know, to make a difference, to have a bigger voice, to create some ripple effects.</p>
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<p>And people take time out of their busy days to, um, you know, spend time putting a spotlight on those, those passions and those, those areas of focus. So I think those designation days are really cool, and they can have a profound effect of enhancing a feeling of oneness. For me personally, there's a couple that, you know, I really enjoy, um, and I like the local, the local happenings that, uh, bubble up there and you really can get involved.</p>
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<p>So those, those are two examples for me that kind of ride through the year. Yeah. </p>
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<p>I love that. I, I do think like those designation days as you reference them help us realize that we're not alone. Like our story is also shared by someone else and you can have this connection with someone that's not necessarily in your immediate circle and you'll be like, "Oh yeah, like you too.</p>
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<p>Oh, y- you know, you know what I'm s- talking about," right? That whatever we happen to be going through and, and then there's-- there can be a form of connection with that and, uh, possibly a new relationship that's sparked. Um, which is... Or we come back to, um, a practice that we might have like, um, like eased away from for whatever particular reason.</p>
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<p>You mentioned, you know, National Meditation Day or International Meditation Day. Those are good days to say, "Hey, you know what? You can come back to the practice and you can just come back. You can do it again. You might have had it for a bit. You forgot to do it for a few days. That became a habit, but now you can come back."</p>
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<p>And uh, my, my hope for you, Carrie, so is this. You're not too far From LA. So you can check out the LA Olympics. You can go there in person. </p>
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<p>Wow. </p>
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<p>Which, which may, um, which may be, like, the worst traffic jam ever. Um, so I, I, I had the privilege of going to your ol- your home state of Georgia. So when the Olympics were in Atlanta, I went down.</p>
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<p>Yes. I, I was in between jobs, and I was like, "All right." So I put, you know, put our dog in the, in the car, and we, we drove down, and I caught some of the, more of the free events that I could watch. And so, but you, to your point, you, like, you have, like, nations from all... people from all around the world. They're all dressed up in their national flag.</p>
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<p>Um, but there's definitely some great pride, and I think this year, like we've seen it with the FIFA World Cup, and since I'm close to New York here in New Jersey, the whole city of New York became Knicks fans. Yeah. Because every- every- everyone was... Re- regardless of who you pray to, who you love, who you voted for, one thing we could all agree on was that the Knicks need to win a championship, and so there was, like, great city unity, which was really awesome, so.</p>
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<p>I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Sports definitely do that. That's fun. </p>
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<p>Yeah. They c- they can definitely do that. So, um, or, or, like, a good Taylor Swift concert. You never know. Like, if you're not into sports but you're into music, a good global world tour by a big star, that's another way of, uh, connecting. When you're in the, when you're in the arena and everyone knows every word to every song, there is a connection there.</p>
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<p>And you know when you're in that arena, we don't all agree on everything, but we agree on this song we're gonna sing at the top of our lungs, which is really- Right. Exactly ... which is really cool. So one, our metaphor for the show is Kintsugi. It's really the metaphor for my overall, uh, overall show of Whole Again.</p>
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<p>So when-- in that spirit of Kintsugi, when you think about where we might have a crack or where we might have broken as a country, but we have this ability to, to reconnect our pieces, hopefully heal, and maybe even through the healing we can have some growth. Uh, and we then highlight these scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>So if, if you could pick one thing to help us reconnect on, uh, that could lead to greater healing, greater community, what, what would it be? </p>
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<p>Well, I love the concept of Kintsugi. Uh, for many years, that's been, um, a, a mental visual, you know, when things crack open in my own life, uh, and how I'm gonna heal that, and how that scar is going to, uh, be shared proudly, you know, as part of my story.</p>
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<p>Um, yeah, Country State is, is no different there. I think I have a very different lifestyle, right? And I've chosen that, and I've worked to reverse myself out of what we call the rat race here, right? You know, that loving term of the rat race. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>But, uh- Yeah ... that constant go that we have. And I know this extends beyond our borders, but I really feel like a fracture in America is how deeply programmed we've become to fast and demanding lifestyles.</p>
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<p>It's not that fast is bad. It's not that demanding is bad. It's that too much of it and not enough down regulation is not how our physical bodies were designed. And I see the impacts of those fast, demanding lifestyles in my work so much. I have the memory encoded in my body of many years of being that way myself, and now being on the other side of that and having slowed down my life and recalibrated is kinda how I like to say it.</p>
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<p>Um, I think that's a fracture that we need to look at and actively put things in place to help solve or relieve or balance. And so, you know, from just the, like from the corporate mindset, let's take a, a moment there. Like, you know, for Pete's sake, take an hour for lunch. </p>
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<p>Yes. </p>
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<p>You know? Yes. You'll only get your desk in five minutes.</p>
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<p>Take an hour for lunch. Maybe you'll have a really meaningful conversation with someone, or maybe you'll have time for a cat nap or a meditation that will help you go slowly and, um, mindfully through your day a little bit more. Um, you know, stop multitasking for the love of all things. </p>
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<p>Yes. It's </p>
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<p>not, it's not really doing us any favors.</p>
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<p>Be present in the one thing that you need to do right now and do it to the best of your ability. Um, you know, take vacations every quarter. You know? Demand it. Let's have more time playing in our life before we retire, before we, you know, maybe have a body that's worn down and can't travel like we want or play like we want.</p>
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<p>Like harness, you know, the moments that you have, um, while you have them. I, you know, especially with the advent of machines and AI doing so much of more my, our work, I'm a proponent of saying, "Give us that time back." You know? If they're saving us so much time, give the people the time back. Let them have a little slowness, a little balance in their life.</p>
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<p>Um, I just think that that's so important and, you know, intentional connection, um, and time with ourselves growing and recovering. If you don't have time and space in your lifestyle, which most Americans I would say don't, um, trying that on for size could show you an alternate way to get the same amount of stuff done, um But in an easier fashion.</p>
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<p>And I just think that would help a lot of stuff start to heal in, in ourselves and then relationally and business-wise and country-wise. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Oh, I love all that. Like yeah, uh, yes to all of it, Carrie. So that I, I do worry that this whole promise that AI is going to give us back time, uh, is a false, like a false wish or a false promise because I think we've heard this f- you know, through, uh, past tech advances.</p>
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<p>Uh, we'll make life simpler. We'll have more leisure time or, um, time for our own health, and then we tend to spend it working. We're, we just seem to be working more and not tapping into our earned PTO and our vacations because so many people just carry over their carryover from year to year on their vacations.</p>
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<p>And I do think that ability to slow down a bit, pump the brakes, create some space, breathe, and be thoughtful about how we wanna show up next could, uh, could do a lot of good in a lot of ways, uh, all across the world. Uh, and, and we can start right here in, uh, in America. So I've been asking the person before you a question, so I'll serve that question up, and you get to ask the next person I chat with a question.</p>
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<p>It can be about really, uh, anything. So this question is actually quite interesting because with your sort of nomadic lifestyle of traveling in different parts of the country, this'll be an interesting one. So they, they want to know, like, if you could go anywhere in the country outside of where you currently live, um, or maybe I'll adjust the question a bit, outside where you've traveled to already and lived, uh, where would it, where would it be?</p>
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<p>Ooh. Yeah, I have so many plans. So, uh, so many different lists, like a whole spreadsheet of, well, if I took a job over here, I could hit this national park and this monument and this- Absolutely, </p>
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<p>yeah ... across the globe. </p>
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<p>So yeah, </p>
<p></p>
<p>so- So what, so what's the next one on the list? Yeah. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Well, I'll say this. Before I leave Montana, Montana is a humongous state.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Obviously, yeah. Bigger than most countries in, in some- </p>
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<p>Yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>parts of the world. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And traveling in my bus is a slow adventure. It is not - we're not going 80 miles an hour getting there quick. Okay. It's a slow adventure, but, um, that's half the joy, actually. Um- </p>
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<p>Absolutely ... so </p>
<p></p>
<p>before the end of the summer, uh, I have to go see Glacier National Park, you know?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, yes. Yes. </p>
<p></p>
<p>There is, you know, the Road to the Sun. There are the most beautiful alpine lakes to hike to, which is my favorite thing in the world to do is to hike to alpine lakes and then take a dip. It's just magic. Um, so I'm trying to currently decide whether I'm gonna drive the bus up there and then kinda shuttle around and us- use the wonderful services of the national park system, or if I'll just rent a car, throw my camping gear in there, and make it a, a shorter trip and, and do some tent camping instead.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So Glacier is stunning. Um, you know, uh, Flathead Lake right around the same area, stunning. And I think I just have too many saved reels and friends who have already been that I can't not have that, um, experience before I leave. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. That's pretty cool. I, I hope, uh, I hope that happens for you. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So now what question do you have for the next person I talk to in the series? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Ooh. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And it can be about really anything. </p>
<p></p>
<p>About really anything. You know, I love hearing people's life stories. I just think there's so much we can learn from people's individual experiences. Um, and so I would ask something along those lines, like, you know, what is one of the most, um, you know, important moments in your life story so far, and where did it happen?</p>
<p></p>
<p>I will definitely ask that question of the next person I talk to in our series. So Carrie, thank you again for joining me here, and thank you for the ripple effect that you're putting into the world and helping us become a more perfectly imperfect union. So, uh, I appreciate you. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you. Lovely chat.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Peace.</p>
<p></p>
<p>There's something about Kerry. I just love her energy. Even though we were connecting through pixels, through video, there's something very calming and grounding about her presence. It's that feeling where you can feel safe enough to exhale. And I love the fact that she decided to tap out of the corporate rat race and live her life to create a meaningful one for her as she defines it.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I've had the privilege of talking to amazing humans like Kerry throughout this series, and I hope you're checking out the other conversations, as well as the episodes of Whole Again that are all designed to help you step into the person you're becoming and to help you create a meaningful life, however you might define it.</p>
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<p>And until our next episode, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>