What's Missing in Today's Mindfulness Practices

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that is here in support of the person you're becoming in your quest to live a meaningful life. And I wanna start today with a question for you. I want you to imagine a mindful person. Take a second or two to bring that type of person to mind. What do you see?</p>
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<p>You might see someone who is sitting cross-legged in a lotus position, completely alone on a cushion in a quiet room. Maybe the room has a whole bunch of lotus flowers. Their eyes are closed. Maybe they're wearing noise-canceling AirPods. Maybe they're listening to an app on their phone. If they are, maybe it's Pause, Breathe, Reflect.</p>
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<p>Who knows? In today's hustle, influencer-driven culture, mindfulness has become the ultimate live your best life solo project. We download apps. Again, transparency here, I have an app, but it's absolutely free. We read books from great teachers on how to practice mindfulness. We do breathing exercises on our own But what if I told you all this turning inward, all this overindexing on solo-ship, which is probably not a word, but I think you know where I'm going with this, this has stripped away one of the most powerful qualities of mindfulness.</p>
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<p>To understand what we're missing, I think it's important to go back, go back 2,500 years ago. This thing called mindfulness, it's a time-tested practice, so we're gonna go back to the underpinnings of mindfulness. We're gonna go back to the days of Buddha, and there's something called the Three Jewels. The first jewel is Buddha, the teacher, the guide, that person that is trying to spark awakening within you.</p>
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<p>The second pillar is Dharma. This is the teaching itself, the content, the actual practice of meditating, of breathing, of being present. So we've done a pretty good job with two of these jewels. We have plenty of teachers out there. Everyone seems to be a meditation teacher, even though they haven't really done a lot of training, but if they have a good voice, they must be a meditation teacher.</p>
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<p>I digress. And we've done a pretty good job of Dharma, although we tend to boil it down into 15-second clips on TikTok. Again, I digress. But there's one pillar in particular that we're missing, and this is a critical ingredient. It's called Sangha. The name of Pause, Breathe, Reflect actually is officially, at least through the eyes of the IRS, is Pause, Breathe, Reflect, Sangha.</p>
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<p>Sangha means community. It connects beautifully with what I do as an executive coach and my emphasis on who's in your peloton, which is also about community. A Sangha is a group of fellow practitioners who sit or walk with you, support you, and share in your journey because we do not walk alone. We don't sit alone.</p>
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<p>Although in today's culture, this emphasis on oneself has created this mess that we're in that all we're thinking about is ourselves. We're not thinking about community. We're not thinking about Sangha. We're not practicing it like I think we could And sangha isn't just a warm fuzzy. There's some good science that backs up the benefit of practicing together, and I'll put a few of the scientific links in the show notes because I could go on and on about this, but I love to keep our episodes in bite-sized pieces.</p>
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<p>But when we practice meditation in a group, this happens a lot when we go on retreat because we're with other people in the sangha, and even if everyone has their eyes closed and no one is speaking, there is an electronic rhythm That our brains start to connect with. They literally all sync up. So we start to have greater connection.</p>
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<p>I believe this actually happens too when I lead live practices via Zoom, which I do multiple times a week. You see, when I created the Pause, Breathe, Reflect app, one of the critical pieces of it, one thing I didn't wanna lose, was practicing together across the world. Sure, I could lay down a whole bunch of different meditations, and you can find them all on the app, but one thing, even though the app is completely free wherever you happen to get your apps, one thing I love doing is doing the practice together.</p>
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<p>Again, via Zoom, 'cause we can't all be showing up together at 7:30 in the morning on Mondays or 12 PM on Friday. Zoom is a good tool to help us practice together, and there's a connectivity that happens when we do so. Sangha is amazing because it alters our biology. It amplifies our sense of social safety and increases the level of empathy and compassion in the group, and it actually makes it easier for people to drop in, to relax, and get into a state of presence.</p>
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<p>And when you look at the research, this sangha is the missing piece in modern-day mindfulness. Just recently, the Mindful Leader, which is an organization of mindfulness practitioners, did a survey of some of their members and found that beginners to people with experience are really thirsty for sangha.</p>
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<p>They're thirsty for community. This all ties into our theme here on Whole Again, and our theme in that new series I'm running, A Perfectly Imperfect Union. We wanna feel like we're part of something, that we're not just solo bots on a treadmill doing our thing with our app. Again, those can be very valuable.</p>
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<p>It's one of the reasons why I released mine, because sometimes life happens in a moment and you don't have a convenient live practice to join. So the app can be really beneficial in those circumstances. But there is something about practicing together that's a game changer And there's another great benefit of being part of a sangha, is that you're more likely to stick with your practice.</p>
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<p>Our greatest hurdle today with mindfulness isn't all about focusing in on the breath, although that's hard. We learn when we practice, our mind is always wandering, especially with all the different things trying to grab at our attention today. No, the hardest thing is actually being consistent with the practice.</p>
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<p>So mindfulness can be a way of life as opposed to this transactional thing we need to do as part of our morning routine. And through sangha, we increase the likelihood that we stay consistent with the practice, because a sangha offers support and encouragement and a little accountability. We show up 'cause we know others will also show up The way I like to look at this is that I see Buddha as the map, I see Dharma as the path, but Sangha is the fuel.</p>
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<p>We need all three. Without three legs of a three-legged stool, well, we're falling over. So my encouragement is to join us, to join us in our community here at Pause, Breathe, Reflect, and Whole Again. Practice together. You can join us on Zoom. I don't make you turn your camera on. You don't need to speak. All you need to do is be willing and courageous and vulnerable enough to pop in and practice with other perfectly imperfect humans.</p>
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<p>And don't do it just once. Do it a few times and see how the experience with mindfulness changes through the power of Sangha. That's the missing link. That's why I love going into companies and creating Sanghas to help enhance their culture with team members who might be interested in mindfulness for a variety of reasons, or people who have practiced for a number of years and already know the benefits.</p>
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<p>And as a result, things within the company change for the better. And the cool thing, as a leader, you're providing people, team members, with something that will not only improve their focus and attention at work, but you'll give them a practice that will change their lives. And that is a wonderful gift to give to anyone.</p>
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<p>And it shapes your legacy, that you care about the fullness of each employee. And I hope you'll give it a try</p>
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<p>As always, thanks for being here. Thank you for listening. And I hope you'll tune in to tomorrow's episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, where I'll talk to another neighbor of yours on their reflections as America turns 250. Until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you</p>