A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Becky Schmooke
The Whole Again Podcast: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kinstugi Wisdom airs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Pause Breathe Reflect Microdose Meditations, Growth Mindset and Mindfulness Tips, to help us transform our scars into healing and resilience.
And between May and October, I'm sharing a new series I'm calling: A Perfectly Imperfect Union. It's about connecting with every day folks as they reflect on America at 250. Conversations will air every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
-------
What if our inability to disagree well is actually what's tearing us apart?
That's the question Becky Schmooke sits with as America turns 250. And she's not just talking about politics. She's talking about the everyday moments when we reach for a false choice, even though the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
In this episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, Becky shares what she sees as the root of our communication breakdown. The subtle mental traps that make us argue in circles, attack people instead of ideas, and believe there are only two options when there are almost always more.
And then there's the moment she describes when you lock eyes with a complete stranger in public, and you both just know. No words. Just that shared, unscripted human laugh. She says AI will never be able to do that.
Becky's question for our next neighbor on the series and for you is:
What's a smell that takes you right back to a positive childhood memory?
Share your answer in the comments and share this episode with someone you love.
You can connect with Becky via LinkedIn, Substack and her website.
And you can get a copy of her book, Choose The Handle That Holds, at fine independent bookstores and Amazon.
You can now download my Pause Breathe Reflect App with Microdose EQ for FREE in Apple’s App Store or Google Play. Discover how spend less time on your phone and more time on things that bring you joy. Also, find the support you need to navigate today’s uncertainty with more calm and grace.
Receive a FREE copy of my book: “My Last Bad Day Shift.”
Join me on Substack https://substack.com/@milkshakeswithmichael for more ways to stay resilient and navigate today’s uncertainty with more grace.
We can also connect on LinkedIn.
Subscribe to be sure you don’t miss any of the micro-meditations, wellness tips, and guidance that I publish every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7:11 am.
With Whole Again: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kintsugi Wisdom, listeners explore mindfulness and resilience through personal stories of trauma, scars, and injury while learning to overcome, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and perfectionism with self-compassion, self-love, and self-worth. Through insightful discussions on building resilience, fitness, and stress management, as well as mindfulness practices and digital wellness, the show offers practical tools such as breathwork, micro-dose meditation, grounding techniques, visualization, and daily affirmations for anxiety relief and stress reduction. Inspired by the art of kintsugi, the podcast embodies healing as a transformative process, encouraging a shift in perspective from worry and overwhelm to gratitude and personal growth. By exploring the mind-body connection, micro-dosing strategies for emotional well-being, and
<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
<p></p>
<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic, and we were hurting.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic. Of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia. So 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But here, I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old. And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to meet an everyday American who is creating a positive ripple effect like you, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Becky Smooke</p>
<p></p>
<p>Well, hello Becky. Good to see you again. Uh, like all the other guests, we have no one famous today. We have no one who is a celebrity, no politicians, nobody in the media. We just have an everyday- Nobody ... person. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Mm-hmm. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And we have Becky. And Becky's been on the show. You- you're one of the few people who are making a double, uh, appearance on this podcast, back when it was the Kensuke Podcast, and now we've changed the name, and now we have a new series.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So, thanks for joining me. How the heck are you? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I'm doing good. Busy, uh, doing very Iowa, probably stereotypical things, being out in the country today, so. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Being with the hogs and being with the corn. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Being I was with the animals this morning. I was hauling mulch, and I was just... Yeah, I almost had the flannel on, but I took it off.</p>
<p></p>
<p>People in New Jersey and New York don't use the verb hauling, like, without, without the G very much. We're hauling, except maybe we're hauling down the- </p>
<p></p>
<p>I don't have time for the G ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>yeah, hauling down- Yeah ... the turnpike. So, uh, well, well, well, welcome. And hey, I wanna give you, like, a shout-out for doing your audio version of your book.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Because last time you were here, we talked about your book, and now there's an audio version, which is really cool, so congratulations. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you very much. It was an experience. </p>
<p></p>
<p>It, uh, imagine it is. To hear your voice over and over again for hours on end as you record is something that everyone should experience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So </p>
<p></p>
<p>The only thing I'll tell you for you to appreciate is Kensuke, like, I had to... The producer came back, I had to make those edits. And I pronounced Kensuke wrong- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>in the first draft, and that word got in my head and I couldn't... It took me three hours- ... to get it right because I could- I kept freak- uh, yeah.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And so I thought of you during that, the three hours of </p>
<p></p>
<p>hell. Very cool. That's very awesome. So for the peop- for people who don't know who you are- You everyday American, who are you? And where, where do you live? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I am in Iowa, so I am outside of Iowa City, Iowa. So the, the co- the Hawkeyes, the, um, Univers- University of Iowa's here.</p>
<p></p>
<p>We don't have a professional sports team, so we are very big into our college sports. So the, um, the Hawkeyes are the sports team. Uh, Caitlin Clark was our most recent- Yes ... claim to fame. Um, but, um, and so I live out in the country, so we do have goats and chickens, and I have an on-site retreat area out in the timber.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I run summer camps for kids, and then I do leadership consulting, team building, speaking, um, a lot with sports. So heading into the time I go around to different NFL teams and work with their rookies on leadership. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Very cool. So </p>
<p></p>
<p>a lot of fun stuff. </p>
<p></p>
<p>So what does it, what does it mean to be out in the timber?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Like, what, what, what's that? Is that the woods? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Out in the timber. So timber, like this, like woods. The woods. Yes, yes. We're out in the- Where there's lots of trees. There's trees and, um, trails and- Trails. That's very co- Yeah, so, uh, we have a... I created kind of like a fairy forest. We have an archery range, so I teach archery.</p>
<p></p>
<p>We have ninja courses, zip lines, tree house, um, art installations. It's fun. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Very cool. So what is something really awesome about Iowa? Because not everyone's been to Iowa. It's a bit of a flyover state. Yeah. So what's cool about it besides fairies and archery and hogs- ... and hauling and goats and all that stuff?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Okay. So my fact about Iowa that's cool is something that's, I grew up in Iowa. Despite being born in San Diego, I was hauled out to Iowa as a child and raised here. And, um, I did not know this until, like, a couple years ago. So in Iowa in August and in July is, it is so humid. Like, it is disgusting. Like, you walk outside and there's, like, sweat down your, like, butt crack, you know, immediately.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And, uh, um, and I don't mind sweating, but I like to work for my sweat. And I found out the reason why, it's because of the corn. So we plant a lot of corn. Nebraska gets, like, the whole corn as their motto thing or logo, whatever they wanna call it, but Iowa has a ton of corn. In July and August, every single day, there are 50 billion gallons of water released by the corn into the air a day.</p>
<p></p>
<p>50 billion gallons. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Wow. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And that's why it's so humid in July and August. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Well, I did not know that. That is a- I did not know that either ... that </p>
<p></p>
<p>i- </p>
<p></p>
<p>that is a fun fact about Iowa. That's very cool. Yeah. And, and actually most of that- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Don't come here in </p>
<p></p>
<p>August. And most of that corn isn't actually going, you know- No, not to our bellies though</p>
<p></p>
<p>it's not co- it's not corn on the cob, you know? Mm-mm. It's not- No ... it's going to feed the animals. Uh, so- Yes ... all right, so that's something cool about Iowa. What does, what's something that people get wrong about Iowa? like a bias, uh, um Unconscious bias or a very conscious bias perhaps </p>
<p></p>
<p>Okay. I grew up in a, in a bubble in Iowa.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So in Iowa City, it's kind of this, it's like the Madison is what I remember as a kid. It was people saying, "It's the Madison." And then people are like, "What's Madison?" Um, Wisconsin. But it's a very... I grew up in Iowa City, so it's a very, um, more liberal part. So it's ve- It's... And, um, what I got wrong about Iowa growing up was thinking that the rest of Iowa was like this kind of college town city that I grew up in.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Mm-hmm. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And I think what's really cool about Iowa is you have such a mix of people, and you have such a beautiful landscape up north, where you got the Bluffs, and then you have a lot of farm fields. And so it's, it's diverse in its own special way. Um, and I think that's something that's cool about it. You get a lot of, a lot of cool people, and I love living where I live now because I get that mix.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Ah, that's cool. So Iowa City is like the Austin to Texas. Yes. Yeah. So it's like a little- It's a blue </p>
<p></p>
<p>dot right </p>
<p></p>
<p>now ... it's a little blue dot. Like, oh yeah, it's all good here. Um, but then you get out, you get out into the country, it, it, it definitely changes. And I've, I've been through Iowa, so I can definitely attest to that.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. So one question I've been asking people, so I want you to imagine this summer you're out having a picnic. It's so humid- Mm-hmm ... 'cause all that corn- Yeah ... is shedding all its water, and someone will ask you, "Hey, Becky, what does America mean to you?" How do you re- how do you respond to that? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Okay. So I am stealing my answer from the title of your series, and, um, I am.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, that's the work I put into this question. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. That's just good, deep, deep thoughts. Deep thoughts. I'm gonna... </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, I'm gonna- </p>
<p></p>
<p>No, I'm just gonna steal. No, no, no. Um, </p>
<p></p>
<p>I, I do, I do think America is flawed as can be, and I think that we have to like ... And that's okay. It's imperfect. It was never perfect. And I feel like sometimes we get very defensive of our country and feel the need to, you know, say it's the best.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And I always go back to that show, The Newsroom, I don't know if you ever saw it, um, and that first episode when Jeff Daniels, he goes and he talks about like, "No, we're not number one in everything." Like, we are not perfect, and that doesn't have to be a declaration of a s- you know, a, a forever state. You know?</p>
<p></p>
<p>We, we don't have to be like, "I guess we're always gonna be bad at this." Like, no. It's let's find where we can be better and improve. And, um, so being imperfect means that you get to continue to grow and do better, and that's America. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, I like that. W- we, yeah, newsflash, we are, are not number one in everything.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I know. And never, yeah, never were. So, but Uh, we, hey, there are a lot of people that bought into that myth, bought into that storyline, and so we're, we're grasping at it pretty tightly. So, uh, but yeah, I- I'm </p>
<p></p>
<p>deeply patriotic. I love- Oh ... this country. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And, and I think that's, and that what goes into... I'm gonna shut my mouth 'cause that goes into the answer to another question.</p>
<p></p>
<p>No problem. So what, the next question I have for you is, do you know much about your family's history? In terms of coming to this land or coming to this country? 'Cause we do have that story as well. The, the connection to this particular spot on this big blue marble that we all share. What do you know about your family's history as far as coming here?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Well, I don't know if you've heard. There's, there was somebody, um, if you heard a little, a, a gentleman named George Washington was- Yes ... my great... No, just kidding. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, yeah. I </p>
<p></p>
<p>was gonna say. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>You were, you were- And, um- ... on the Mayflower too, you know, like- Yeah ... like, yeah. Um, </p>
<p></p>
<p>I was, yeah. Yeah. Um, no, uh, in fourth grade we had to do family trees and, or like, and I, um, got up there to present mine.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I'll never forget 'cause it's back when you didn't have, I don't know, I just un- I taped together the computer paper sheets of the family genealogy, and I'll never like just undoing each one 'cause mine, my grandma has traced back to like the 1400s or 1300s, and like it's very extensive. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Whoa. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And so everyone else got up there and they're like presenting like a couple generations back, and I'm just like unfolding.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I just remember each sheet of paper stretching across the whole blackboard. Um, and they're all like, "Uh-oh." Um, uh, so I know a lot and, um, w- I had history of Minnesota and then there's like a, a, a town founded by a family member, um, ancestor and one named after one. And I remember as a kid going to like the 150th anniversary of the town and being in the parade and thinking it was very cool.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, and so and if I ever met anybody from that place, it was like I'd be the kid to be like, "Oh yeah?" Like, that was like fun, but like great-great-great. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. We founded this place. We're, we're, we're the elite. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And they're like, "Cool." Um- Yeah. ... small town Minnesota. So like there's, but there's like neat ties to the Midwest, um, and we're now growing up here and the rest of the family's all in California.</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's kind of fun to be able to come back to those roots. But yeah, nothing incredible amazing, but it's... I think that's, but again, that's what makes America great is the not incredibly amazing people in history because like that's who this country was built by and created by. You know, we have a couple names that books are written about, but my gosh, that's just, that's just the tip of the iceberg.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, absolutely. So as you were sharing your school project, I couldn't help but think of AI. Like what would kids do today? They would go to ChatGPT and just say, "Hey, tell me about my whole history." So- </p>
<p></p>
<p>So I tried that. I tested that concept. I thought the same thing, and I was told that, um, it, it can't do that.</p>
<p></p>
<p>It can't access anything except for like public records, very public records. But, um, 'cause I had that same thing. I was like, "I wonder if AI could just like do this these days?" But no. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Well, it could. It might hallucinate and give you like the wrong type of family tree. So do you have- Do you have a point of view on AI since everyone seems to be debating it currently?</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's either going to free us from all limitations, or it will destroy humanity. Uh, where do you fall in those two camps or in between those c- two camps? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, so I, I, I gave a talk recently, um, to a group of, uh, Walmart leaders about leadership in the age of AI, and my consensus is this. It's like the AI has removed the, uh, kind of the race or need to be the smartest person in the room.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Like, you're not going to be the smartest person in the room anymore, right? Like, you just, you can't be. And so in, in that sense, it opens the door for there to be more time and more focus on leadership and on doing the things that makes humans so great, which is, like, leading in the human shit, right? Like we- And feel- I think there's a lot-</p>
<p></p>
<p>feel </p>
<p></p>
<p>all the feels, as the kids would </p>
<p></p>
<p>say. Yes. Yeah. And you can't... A, you just... AI can only do so much. And, um, I think there's plenty to be concerned about. I'm not a, like, get on board with no regulations, but I am a let's learn how to make it work for us instead of us work for it, which is also </p>
<p></p>
<p>a lot of work.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, yeah. So we've had a good chance in our last episode to laugh a lot about just about the ridiculousness of life and also the serious tones and even today. So is there something that when you think about America makes you laugh? Like, what, what, like, you think, like, that is like, that is wickedly funny about us.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Does anything come to mind? </p>
<p></p>
<p>So I love, um, smart, um, comedy, and I think that something about America that is making me laugh right now is we still make amazing television shows, and there's just great comedy on it. And I love- I just, I love the pointing out of a, like how absurd- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>shit is sometimes. Yeah, </p>
<p></p>
<p>yeah.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, that's- </p>
<p></p>
<p>And but what really makes me laugh, and this is what AI cannot ever do. This is what makes me laugh. I love the moments when you're out in public and something happens, and you catch the eye of a complete stranger, right? And you share that moment, and like if, in that like genuine, unscripted just freaking just like, just laughter, right?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Like it's just that like- Yes ... you saw that, right? And like- Yeah, you saw ... and it's not like out loud laughter, right? It's like in our head laughter. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. </p>
<p></p>
<p>It's like you... Like those are the moments I love and I live for, and I just delight in. And that's where when I think of AI, I'm like, "Nah, AI can never do that."</p>
<p></p>
<p>No, AI can't do that. It can </p>
<p></p>
<p>never do that. </p>
<p></p>
<p>That look- So- That look like you just saw what I saw, right? And like that- Mm-hmm ... that is freaking hilarious. That's so funny. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>It is. </p>
<p></p>
<p>So, so I do think laughter can be medicine And so as we think about healing, as we think about this whole Kintsugi, we break apart, we come back together.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So is there something that you would like to see us try to heal, try to connect, repair if you will? Uh, maybe not perfectly, but take a meaningful step towards so we can, you know, step into this perfectly imperfect union of ours? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. We need to learn... Well, so I think we need to, um, a lot of conversations like we need to listen more, we need to like have more conversations.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I think we need to disagree more with each other face it. Like, we need to have, learn how to disagree better. And I know that's something that like the governor of Utah, you know, something he's champions of this idea, like disagree better. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, yes. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I agree. I, you know, the, the focus of if I decide to wander down the path of insanity and write another book again, um, the topic is gonna be about informal fallacies, logical fallacies.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I see that as really being the, like the root of our, our communication issues. We don't, we don't learn what these, uh, logical fallacies are anymore and the formal ones, and we get caught up into it. So I think learning to disagree without falling prey to, you know, ad hominem attacks, right? Or the like, um, you know, false dichotomies.</p>
<p></p>
<p>That idea that, oh wow, wait- Yes ... there's not only two options. And I think for me, what I have found so cool, Brian, uh, Brian, I'll call you, I'll call you O'Brien. I was like, I almost wanna call you O'Brien. I was like, we're not, I don't call you that. And I was like- Yeah. ... so I stopped myself halfway and I was like, I don't know why I was like, "O'Brien."</p>
<p></p>
<p>I feel like, you know, like an anchor would be that, "O'Brien." Um, back at the city, O'Brien. </p>
<p></p>
<p>O'Brien. Hey, O- we're gonna, we're gonna like, we're gonna go to O'Brien right now. He's live on the scene- The only </p>
<p></p>
<p>reason I know that's 'cause your name is, I had to </p>
<p></p>
<p>check this ... for a argument that's gotten out of control Your </p>
<p></p>
<p>last name comes up on my phone at first.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So yeah, O'Brien Michael is what you're listed as on my phone, and that's how I, I say it. Sorry. Um- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, it's very f- very formal ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>I am very formal. Um, is so here's the thing is we, um, once you know what these like fallacies are, you see them and you don't fall into their trap. And it's so freeing to be like, "Ooh-" Nope, not gonna take the bait on that one.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And like, nope, you are trying to redirect the narrative. Like, no, w- that's not what I'm saying here. And even with, like, my husband, ugh, I'm just gonna walk and step right into this one. Uh, maybe he won't listen to this episode. Um, but there was just a time recently where he was like, you know, kinda gave a, like, "It's either we do this now, or, like, we're not gonna do it for another six months."</p>
<p></p>
<p>And, you know, I'd be like- Yes ... "Well, is that true? Like, I think there's some time between," you know? And, and, </p>
<p></p>
<p>and- There's </p>
<p></p>
<p>some time </p>
<p></p>
<p>between, yeah ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>a- and so, and we do it in our own thinking. So I think that, to me, is what do I see that could be fixed that'll solve all the problems in this country? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. All </p>
<p></p>
<p>of them.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Education on- Yes ... informal logical fallacies. That's it. Yes. A- all right.</p>
<p></p>
<p>101, first course, taught by Becky. So yes, awesome. All right, so it's a birthday this year, so we do two things. We gotta have cake, and we have to make a wish. So what kind of cake are you serving for America's birthday? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I'm gonna be in Canada for America's birthday, actually. Um, I just- Awesome ... just realized that.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, I will be- </p>
<p></p>
<p>So are you gonna have, like, a maple syrup cake? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I will be visiting my new niece, who is named Maple, in Canada. So, um, so we might be, and I'll be there for another, um, niece's birthday there too. So yes, I will make a maple cake- Oh, right. ... and shove it. Um, no, so from afar, from what is a separate country and not at all a n- a p- a part of our country, um, my wish for America is that we just, like...</p>
<p></p>
<p>We, we need to learn once more, like, how to be okay With being not perfect. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Ah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And like, a- and, and within the people we agree with, and within the people we disagree with, like being able- Yes ... to call each other out, uh, I think that is really important. And I think right now we have a problem where we have to, we, we have a wrong definition of loyalty and a wrong definition of patriotism, and we need to go back to realize that, like, to be loyal to anybody, even your own party, means holding it to a standard.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And I think we have lost the standard, and the, the fact that it is okay to hold people to a bar that is higher than the ground. Um- ... and, uh, a- and, and, and I just like, and, and again, look at, attack the thing, not the person, and disagree instead of fight. Like, it's okay to disagree. I tell my kids this all the time, and they'll be like, "Why are you fighting?</p>
<p></p>
<p>I don't wanna fight." And I'm like, "We're not fighting. It's a disagreement." We're not </p>
<p></p>
<p>fighting. Yeah. "Why are you yelling at me? My teacher yelled at me." I know. I'm like, "I don't know if they yelled at you. They probably just told you to sit down and be quiet." </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. Yeah. No, that was your shame yelling at you- Yeah</p>
<p></p>
<p>in your head. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. Like you feel this. That's like- Yes ... if it's anything like me, that's the voice that's the loudest. So I think that's the wish, is that we can learn to do it. Yep. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I like that wish. I like that wish. So in my last conversation They served up a question for you. So here's the question from one of your neighbors, one of your fellow perfectly imperfect citizens.</p>
<p></p>
<p>From what state? </p>
<p></p>
<p>What, what state? From Jersey. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I don't know why that matters, but it does. Continue. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, yeah. So yeah, so, uh, the q- the question, the... Your, your answer is gonna be dependent upon, well, where are they from, right? So they are from this great country. They wanna know if you had 72 hours to spend anywhere in the US, where would you go?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Okay, I fell in love with this place last summer, and I want to go back, so I just need to make a lot more money so I can afford to live there, which is, um, Washington State, like, um- Oh, yes ... on the, like, like, on the ocean. Um, and- Yeah ... just, like, I don't know where exactly it was, but I think it's where, like, Twilight was apparently filmed or something.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, yeah. Forks. Oh my God, I think I just remembered the town. It was, like, an hour and a half from the town of Forks. All I know is 'cause we tried to find a bathroom there. And, um, uh, and we stayed by the water, and I, I want to go to there. It's like, to have the rainforest and the ocean and the food, the seafood.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, the seafood, yes. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And the ferry ride from there, if I, if I know where that is, the ferry ride from there to Seattle, it's like going to the Emerald City. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Like, you have Mount, you have Mount Rainier that's popping up beautifully into the great sky, and the Emerald City, especially at sunset, it's like, oh, wow, follow the yellow brick road.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Follow the yellow brick road. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. We- So- ... we went to this lake and it was like- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes ... </p>
<p></p>
<p>aqua pristine beautiful lake. Yes, it's, yeah. And I just was like, "Oh, I feel like this isn't full of, like, pesticide runoff." Like, you can't get in the water- ... in Iowa very much without, like, worrying about what happens. 'Cause of </p>
<p></p>
<p>the corn.</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's all about, it all comes back to the corn. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Corn and the cow shit. It's just- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, you bet. You bet, and the, and the pig shit, too, so, like, yeah, all the, all the hogs. So what question do you have for the next person I chat with? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Okay, here's my question, is, um, what is a smell- That when they smell it, like, just takes them right back to their childhood, to like a positive- Ooh</p>
<p></p>
<p>a positive childhood memory. Like, what's a smell that just, like, transports them back to your childhood? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I like that. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I know. </p>
<p></p>
<p>That's a good question. </p>
<p></p>
<p>It's one of my favorites. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. That's awesome. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I ask every audience- Well, Beck- ... I talk to that question. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. That's a great question, 'cause we, we experience life through our senses, and like, our sense of smell is a powerful one.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Well, Becky, thanks for being perfectly imperfect and just a plain everyday American, so thanks for coming on. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank </p>
<p></p>
<p>you. I appreciate you. I will put the link to your new audiobook in the show notes because it's a podcast, and every podcast needs to have show notes. But again, thanks for being here.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you for having me. See you.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Now, Becky is one of the few humans I've had on this show more than once. She first came on when she released her book, and now it's in audio, which is awesome, and I'll put that link in the show notes. After listening to our conversation, you probably know why I brought her back. Because she has great energy and she cracks me up.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I think she's wickedly funny. I also appreciated how she approached the questions. She didn't skim the surface. She went deep, and I loved her reflections on where we are as America as we approach 250, and her wish, her wish for this country. Of course, I think we all know that if we really want to come together, it will take more than just wishing.</p>
<p></p>
<p>It will take action, and maybe that action starts with a conversation, a conversation that allows us to be fully seen, heard, and appreciated, or I would say loved, one human to another, even if we don't see the world the same way. I believe that 97% of people are good. There's a like-heartedness in that goodness, and if we lead with our heart, we can be open to different mindedness.</p>
<p></p>
<p>That's how we can come together and form a more perfectly imperfect union. If today's conversation resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone you know. And if either you or someone you know would like to join me for a conversation, please reach out. And until our next episode in our Perfectly Imperfect Union series, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Happy birthday, America, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>
Apple Podcasts
Castbox
Castro
Goodpods
Moon FM
Overcast
Pocket Casts
Podbean
Podcast Addict
Podcast Republic
Spotify