What The Knicks and World Cup Teaches Us About Joy (Mudita) and Mindfulness

<p>hey  there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that is here in support of the person you're becoming and your quest to live a meaningful life. And let me just start today's episode with a woo-hoo. We got the vibes, people. New York is happy because of the Knicks. I'm recording this just a few days after their big parade, and Team USA is one of the first teams in the World Cup to move to the knockout round.</p>
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<p>So the vibes, well, people are feeling it. And my apologies for everyone listening outside the US. I know those two references were very USA-focused, but stick with me, 'cause today I wanna share something with you that's essential in living a meaningful life, and that is something called mudita, or appreciative joy.</p>
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<p>Within the Buddhist underpinnings of mindfulness, there are four immeasurables. Loving kindness, which is a practice I teach almost every Friday, and you're welcome to attend it. It's actually a great way to end the week. There's compassion, there's equanimity, and there is mudita, appreciative joy, which is the capacity to find or feel genuine happiness for someone else's success, even when it has nothing to do with you.</p>
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<p>That's important. So when we watch Jalen Brunson drop 45 points in the final game, or one of the US players or your favorite team scores a goal in the World Cup, or we watch an underdog achieve something brilliant during the World Cup, trying to make it very timely here, people. I'm talking about the kind of achievements that when we watch them, as adults, we cry, and it could be happening on the other side of the planet.</p>
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<p>When you feel a sense of awe swell up in your body or a wave of happiness for someone else's triumph their years of work, of sacrifice, of sweat, of all of it. When you genuinely feel that, that's mudita. You're happy because they're happy, no strings attached. But here's what mudita is not.</p>
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<p>It's not tribalism. If your joy only shows up when a certain jersey color wins And you're miserable or resentful the moment the other team celebrates, that's not mudita. That's ego wearing your favorite sports jersey. I'll make this really personal. I'm a huge Toronto Blue Jays fan, so when they were in the World Series last year, I was stoked.</p>
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<p>I was so happy for the Jays, and I wanted them to beat the Dodgers. But when the Dodgers beat them in game seven, I felt sorrow for the Jays. I was hurting big time. But I also felt joy for Ohtani and Freeman and Betts. They're good guys. They-- I don't think they played better than the Jays, but they had a great season, and I was happy because they were happy.</p>
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<p>Now, to prove that I am so perfectly imperfect with mudita, but when the Yankees win, there's no joy. My second favorite team is whoever is playing the Yankees that night. So they call this a practice for a reason. I'm not perfect at mudita. In the space of contemplative psychology, and also within mindfulness or Buddhism, every beautiful quality like mudita has a far enemy, something that looks like a total opposite.</p>
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<p>For mudita, that far enemy is schadenfreude, which is finding joy in someone else's misery, right? So, which I'll be honest, sometimes I do, and I think it's perfectly human to practice that from time to time because sometimes dark humor is the most appropriate feeling to have to get through our moments.</p>
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<p>But in addition to the far enemy, which is clear to see, right? We can see schadenfreude in comparison to mudita or joy, but there's something called a fragile enemy. That one is a little closer to the real thing in this particular case. So let's say your team wins. You're on top of the world, right?</p>
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<p>Like a lot of Knicks fans are today, or fans of the US national team. But when your team loses, your whole week is shot. You're short with your spouse. You're a little bit moody. You kick the dog. Not literally, figuratively, because we love dogs. We're short with our kids. Work is a little meh. The world feels a bit darker than it did last week when your team was playing and had a chance for victory.</p>
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<p>This is fragile joy. The lesson in it is this: if your joy can be taken from you that easily, then it really wasn't about the team. It's more of an investment in your ego, and, like any investment, it comes with benefits and risks. But when it's truly mudita, then there's no hangover. There's no risk. It's clean.</p>
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<p>It doesn't ask anything of you in return. It's such a beautiful feeling So my challenge for you this week, or actually through the rest of the World Cup, let's call it the Whole Again World Cup Mudita Challenge, which is a mouthful. But here it is. Can you look at a devastated fan through your telly, through your device, or maybe in real life, and if you're going to one of the matches in real life, good on you.</p>
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<p>You found a way to make this whole World Cup somewhat affordable. But can you look at that fan that just lost, their team just lost, and genuinely wish them a future of happiness? Not just say it, actually feel it. The second part of the challenge, though, is this. This is the harder part. Can you watch your rival play?</p>
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<p>So right now I'm talking to all the fans of the US team, because let's be honest, we're not gonna win the World Cup. There will be a moment when we lose. So in that match, can you look at the rival, whoever we happen to be playing, and they play a beautiful match, the kind that knocks the US out, and we'll be sad, we'll be devastated.</p>
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<p>Can you still, though, find it in you to smile at their brilliance, at their better play? And if you can, that's not a sign of weakness. That doesn't mean you love your team any less than a fan that may not be able to get there. It's certainly not a betrayal of your loyalty to your team. But what it really is is an advanced practice of mindfulness.</p>
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<p>This is where we move our practice forward: when we can express mudita towards the team that knocked our team out. And to underscore this, we can still feel sadness, but we humans can hold multiple feelings at once. So we can feel grief, sadness, sorrow, you name it, when our team loses. But we can also extend mudita or joy to the winning team.</p>
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<p>So try that on. See if you can take our Whole Again World Cup Mudita Challenge, and then let me know how it goes</p>
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<p>As always, thanks for being here. Thanks for listening in. I hope you're checking out our new series, A Perfectly Imperfect Union, where I'm talking to 102 everyday folks across the US and the District of Columbia about their reflections as America turns 250 years old this summer. So I hope you'll check out our next episode tomorrow.</p>
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<p>But until then, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you</p>