Mindfulness and Resilience: Who Gave You Permission to Change?

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of the person you're becoming and your quest to live a meaningful life. A couple days ago, I was speaking with a leader that I coach and mentor, and our conversation was focused in on change and growth. And I think it's a topic that would resonate with all of us.</p>
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<p>It all started when he asked me how I was as a person, as a leader before my big accident, and did people give me the permission to change? And I understood where he was going. He was struggling with some aspects of change in his life, and he didn't think others around him would allow him to change. He was seeking permission first.</p>
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<p>And what I shared with him was this, is that as humans, and this is true for you as well, we are allowed to shift, to use another one of my cycling metaphors that is commonplace here on Whole Again. We're allowed to evolve. We can change directions. We can change our mind, change our perspective on things, and we don't have to hold on.</p>
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<p>We don't have to cling to how things used to be, especially if they no longer fit with where we are in life. Because we all go through seasons of change, just like nature, because we are nature And you don't need my permission to change. You really don't need anyone's permission to change. You can simply shift, change, evolve, whatever verb you wish to use.</p>
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<p>The reality is, is that too many among us are stuck in a groove, and many, although there are some who like the groove, they need that comfort in routine, in how things always used to be, how things always used to go. But that's not life. Things are changing all the time. But for many people, and this is through my travel and some of the data I've collected, when they're stuck in the same groove, there's a tension, there's a rub, there's an unhappiness, or through the lens of Buddhist underpinnings, there's a suffering, there's a dissatisfaction.</p>
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<p>But we can all step out or jump out of our groove. We're all allowed to change. So let me ask you, what in your life still fits, that still makes sense, it still maps to your values? What's evolving right alongside of you at your same pace or in your same way? On the flip side, what doesn't fit anymore?</p>
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<p>What have you outgrown? These are good questions to pause, breathe, and reflect on. Maybe throughout the year, or certainly once a year, most definitely when we go through big life-changing moments, it's a good time to check in and determine what we wish to keep and what we wish to shed. Again, we're allowed to do that.</p>
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<p>We are, as I've mentioned here on Whole Again and in my books and other writings and teaching, we're allowed to let go of those rocks in our backpack that no longer serve us, especially ones that have been influencing the conversation that we're having with ourselves, and especially if that conversation is limiting in a way.</p>
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<p>By letting some of those rocks be or letting them go, we create space, and in that space, we can evolve, we can shift, we can grow. We can step into the person that we're becoming and closer to living that meaningful life that we all desire. Unfortunately, there are personalities in today's society, there are corporations that love to feed off of that not so pleasant conversation that we have with ourselves.</p>
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<p>I think you know the one. It's the one where we beat ourselves up for not being worthy. It's the one that doesn't sound like we love ourselves. Corporate America loves when this story is the one that's getting most of our attention because now they can sell us something, sell us something that they say we need.</p>
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<p>"Buy this," or, "Buy that so you can look better, you can be fitter, you can be healthier, you can not look your age," whatever it might be. There's a whole bunch of people looking to make money off of the conversation that we're having with ourselves about our ability to change. And even though it feels like everyone and their brother and sister are going along with this, "I gotta get this.</p>
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<p>I gotta get that. Have you bought this yet? Have you bought that yet? Oh, this is what you need to feel..." Fill in the blank It takes a lot of courage to say, "Uh-uh, I'm not playing that game." Because ultimately, we all want to feel like we belong. We are tribal in nature. We're pack animals by design. We do need each other.</p>
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<p>So stepping outside and away from the pack can be scary. And if we find ourselves there, a good question to ask ourselves is this: Am I hanging with people who bring out the best in me? Again, time for another cycling metaphor. Am I in the right peloton? Because if you're not, then we have freedom to join a different peloton, to be with people who definitely bring out the best in us, and we can bring out the best in them.</p>
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<p>We don't have to follow along with the pack, the pack that seems to be buying everything that corporate America wants to sell them. But you, my friend, you are strong. You can do hard things. We all can. Whether that thing is physical in nature, more spiritual, more emotional, we can do it. But in order to do these hard things, we must change, and that starts with extending grace to ourselves.</p>
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<p>And also, maybe this concept of permission doesn't come from those around us, but it starts from within us, that we can give ourselves permission to shift, to evolve, to change, to grow, to let go of the things that no longer serve us, so we create some space and step into that person we're becoming. This is key to change.</p>
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<p>It's so often not talked about in corporate America. That's why things within corporate America never seem to change. But all change or shifts start from the inside and move out, and you're allowed to change in any way you wish to. And nobody outside of you has to give you permission to do so. You can simply do it on your own because you can do hard things.</p>
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<p>As always, thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. I hope you'll check out the next episode of the series I'm doing this summer called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. I'm talking to 102 different everyday folks like you across America as we reflect on our country turning 250 years old. And I'll have new episodes for you over the next week of Whole Again.</p>
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<p>But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this and we've got you.</p>