A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Kyle Malikowski

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.</p>
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<p>And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
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<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to meet one of your fellow neighbors who, like all of us, is perfectly imperfect, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Kyle Malikowski.</p>
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<p>Hey, Kyle. Good to see you. As, as we hit record, you're like, "Pressure's on." There's no pressure here. It's all good. It's just friends talking. So it's awesome. Maybe the pressure is on me for making sure all the technology on my end works out, but I am really pumped that you're here and we get to talk, you know, together through this series called A Perfectly Imperfect Union.</p>
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<p>So curious minds wanna know, how are you feeling today? </p>
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<p>Um, pretty good. I know just before this we talked a little bit to catch up. Um, I had a good run this morning, so for what it's worth. </p>
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<p>Awesome. Yes. </p>
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<p>Uh, I think it came around, like, 10 miles, three by two miles, so it was, it was good. I got rained on, but I can't complain too much 'cause it cooled me off, if anything.</p>
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<p>A good run in the rain is, um... I, I, I think that can be really refreshing. Cycling in the rain, for me, uh Less fun, but running in the rain back when I used to run, I, I used to enjoy that. That's actually pretty good. So, so for those that don't know you, who the heck are you? Can you take a moment to introduce yourself and where you are calling in from?</p>
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<p>Yep. Uh, Kyle Malikowski. I would say I'm three things and a handful of others. Uh, first, a dad. That's like my number one job in, in life. Uh, also the most rewarding one. </p>
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<p>Absolutely. </p>
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<p>Then I would say the second is endurance athlete. So I do dabble mostly in running. I need to get back on the bike. Um, but running's my forte and has been for at least a couple years.</p>
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<p>Um, and then the third one, a big-time data nerd, so both professionally, personally. Um, I do get paid for it with, with the company I work at, so as we talk about AI, I, I've got some opinions. Um, but yeah, that's, that's sort of, sort of where I'm at. And then also calling in from, uh, Georgia, uh, just south of Atlanta, about 30 miles south.</p>
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<p>Very cool. So when we get to AI, we'll double down on the fact that your opinions about AI are yours and yours alone and do not represent your company's perspectives about AI. So - Very fair ... uh, so Georgia, so we live in a big country, and I know not everyone listening have, have been to Georgia. So what's something really cool or special about Georgia?</p>
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<p>I would say three, maybe three things. So the, the first one, just geographically, we have beaches, mountains, uh, big valleys. We have obviously big-time metropolitan cities with Atlanta, and then just outside of Atlanta, we have places where I can run on farmland, um, see cows and things like that. So like across the board, uh, geographically, it's maybe the most diverse Uh, I can only say that from the lens of where my background being in the military has taken me before, so.</p>
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<p>Um, the other two very brief ones, so we're known as the Peach State, but we're actually the third biggest producer, and not by even a close call. So California, uh, produces 20 times as many peaches, which is wild. </p>
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<p>That is wild because all the marketing is like Georgia Peach. And what's really fascinating is that earlier today I was talking to Kimberly from Wyoming in th- about this series, and she mentioned, she mentioned to me that she found the best peaches in Colorado.</p>
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<p>So, um- </p>
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<p>Interesting ... </p>
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<p>which, which was totally, that totally blew me away. So I have already today two peach references. Crazy. </p>
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<p>Well, yeah, it's just a good day to go buy peaches. I don't know. </p>
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<p>Abso- absolutely. I think, I think the universe- Statistically ... is tell- yeah, it's telling me something. So, uh- </p>
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<p>Statistically speaking, they're probably from California.</p>
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<p>Uh, maybe not from Georgia, but- </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Uh- That's- Maybe the last one, so also geographically, east to west from Georgia's widest points is 277 miles, which is also a, a, a race that you can do on bike or on foot. Um, so one that's kind of on my bucket list. </p>
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<p>Very cool. I love it. So what do people get wrong about Georgia?</p>
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<p>'Cause we all have, you know, we're, we all have some biases. So do people get anything wrong about Georgia? </p>
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<p>I would say, I, I would say maybe the, um, divisiveness of, of what Georgia is. So- Okay ... and, and I know we'll, we'll talk a little bit about that, but it's really not, um... Like sure, on the internet, I think there's this huge assumption that it's like this color or that color of political opinions- Yeah.</p>
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<p>or whatever it is. Uh, living here, I don't feel that in any way. Um- I, I think that we put up a cloak of the internet and then we, we get like the keyboard warriors, but then when you're out in the grocery store, it's not like you're speaking that political opinion or whatever it is. </p>
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<p>I hear you. I hear you.</p>
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<p>So is Georgia like... Yeah, is Georgia blue or is it red? Is it purple? Like what color is it? So and, and yeah, when we're out there just talking to our neighbors, it's, "Hey, we're all Georgians." So, uh, I, yeah, I get that. So let's say we're having a picnic, you know, we're outside enjoying the nice warmth of a Georgia summer, and we're having peaches from Georgia, not South Carolina or California, and someone asks you, "Hey Kyle, what does America mean to you?"</p>
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<p>How do you respond? </p>
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<p>To me it's, it's sort of two things and I'll, I'll get into one other anecdote later, but, um, if we think of it like the yin and the yang, there's wild opportunity. So in my, in my past I've, I've been to Afghanistan, I've been in countries where you just didn't have opportunity. Quite literally like you're born into a place with low education and not a lot of support.</p>
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<p>Um, there is opportunity here, but on the other side, there's incredible pressure from everyone, it seems. And it's like, uh, I think it takes, it takes it within you to try and deconstruct that pressure of what really matters. So it's, there's opportunity out there and even with like AI and everything that's coming out now, it just adds fuel to the fire.</p>
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<p>But then it's how do you, how do you manage the stress at that personal level and, uh, and make sure you're focusing on the right things. </p>
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<p>I hear you. But we'll talk... I know we'll get into this a little bit deeper as we go, as we go forward. Most folks have some type of family story about coming to America or this land, since we're a country of immigrants.</p>
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<p>Do you know much about your family's story with America or this land? </p>
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<p>Half of it. So half of my family tree, around the mid 1900s, uh, came from Eastern Europe. So, uh, Eastern European came from Poland, and they, the kind of the center anchor point between both sides is they came here and they farmed. And so on my father's side, uh, they were, I believe, dairy farmers, uh, Wisconsin area.</p>
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<p>And if he listens to this, he's going to correct me, uh, for sure. Uh, but I believe dairy farmers. I know for sure he was, he was, uh, in cornfields most of his, his youth. So th- they came over, um, dairy farmed, worked really hard, and I've heard, uh, interesting stories of my, my dad's side of just how the farmland was up north.</p>
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<p>And then, uh, on the other side of the, that pendulum was my mom's side. So, um, I am for sure a mutt, for lack of a better term. Uh, the lineage actually came from Native American roots on my mom's side, and they were also farmers, so far separated from Native American obviously, but much closer to the farmer side.</p>
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<p>Um, and they raised Black Angus cows, um, mostly like show cows, and then that was in the Florida area. So Wisconsin, Florida, both farmers. Um- Sort of bootstrapped through the generations of just different type of work, and then, uh, whatever I'm doing now is sort of a culmination of - </p>
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<p>Yes ... </p>
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<p>that hard work, and maybe that's where I get my endurance, uh, bug from.</p>
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<p>I don't know. </p>
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<p>Well, your ability to, like, persevere and endure, right? Like, as farmers, that's-- it's not easy work, especially back in their day. So maybe, yeah, it, it gets pulled through and it's... You just express it differently, uh, than they, they did it. But it's, yeah, it's part of your DNA to get out there and endure and persevere and be resilient, and it's also-- those are great qualities of this country.</p>
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<p>So yeah, I l- I love it. If you started to tell me, Kyle, that your family came over and went to Wisconsin and were peach farmers, then I'd be like, "This whole peach thing has gone- It's- ... it's gone a bit too far." It'd be a trifecta. So, but I would-- I'm glad you just mentioned dairy. Uh, that seems very apropos for Wisconsin, so very cool.</p>
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<p>All right, so let's get into your geeky nerd, nerdy part of your, of your personality, and we'll talk a little bit about AI. So obviously, out there in the public domain, the public square, there's a lot of talk about AI. One camp, it's like, "It's the worst thing ever. It's gonna destroy us." Another camp is, "It will liberate us.</p>
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<p>It'll give us more leisure time." And then there's probably the truth in between. So how, how do you see it? </p>
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<p>Just for perspective, I'll, I'll give a little background of my work. So I fall squarely into the, like, I should be terrified of AI. It's going to come for my job. Okay. And, um, so my, my work is actually in data analytics, uh, supply chain analytics specifically, and th- that is a, like, goldmine for AI.</p>
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<p>Uh, everything from development work, so the engineering, the data engineering work, um, even coming up with business logic, business rules, and trying to help with, like, decision support type analytics. Um, I should be incredibly worried about it. I am not, and I don't know if that's Uh, just me, like, not reading the tea leaves appropriately or just me being, like, a serial optimist.</p>
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<p>So, uh, when I think of, like, AI, I, I consider it, like, a... It's fuel to the fire of whichever fire you wanna fuel. Like, if you're gonna do a good fire- ... hopefully you're grilling peaches to put on some vanilla bean ice cream, which is delicious. Um, or if you're doing a bad fire, you're burning all the peaches.</p>
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<p>So it maybe goes on ice cream still. I don't know. Um- </p>
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<p>Yeah. Every- I think everything goes well with ice cream, I, I think. Yeah. </p>
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<p>It, it does. Yeah. That's the, the good part. Uh, peach ice cream is delicious, but- That's my last peach reference. The- Okay. Um, I think we see this, and I've even seen it in my work.</p>
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<p>Luckily, I've tested it, is I've, I've used AI to create applications that I should never have been able to create. So things that my company or any company would go out and spend millions of dollars for on the market, we can build small bespoke-type applications in a matter of, uh, 10 hours maybe of cumulative time.</p>
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<p>And it's not, like, extensive time, it's just passively through, uh, between meetings That's incredible, and it's super useful. What I've done in that 10, 10 hours or so worth of building, uh, it's littered with bugs and horrible things that could cause a business to go under. So that's where it still takes...</p>
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<p>It, it takes somebody with the, um, business knowledge and then also that little bit of technical know-how to know, like total infrastructure. Are we building something that'll support all the data that we have? Um, is it going to actually, like, solve the problem, or did it drift off too far? I've actually had to, like, open the hood of what it's created, and I'm like: Wow, that was incredibly intricately wrong.</p>
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<p>Um, it should not do that. It, like, it needs to be-- It's simple. It's like it needs to point to this field instead of that. </p>
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<p>Sure. </p>
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<p>But it for sure added fuel to the fire. It built things faster than I could have in six months. It did it in 30 seconds. Um, it just needs a little bit of governance behind it. </p>
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<p>So when you think about, this goes back to an earlier point in our, our conversation, you know, we have a country that, that has a ton of opportunity.</p>
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<p>It might be a little rough around the edges. We have, obviously, history. You referenced the fires, you know, some good fires to, to add fuel to. There are some fires that maybe we wanna dampen and put out. So if you think about taking a step towards helping us connect better, uh, heal, if you will, using Kintsugi as our metaphor, uh, find a way maybe to grow even from it, and maybe it's not a perfect solution right now, but it's a good first step.</p>
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<p>What would you like to tackle if you could pick one thing? </p>
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<p>I would hit re-rewind on this conversation all the way to the very first point of just get out and actually talk to people- </p>
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<p>Yes ... </p>
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<p>instead of sitting behind a keyboard, which I know like logistically we couldn't do that right now. So that- Sure, yeah</p>
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<p>this part is amazing. But, um, I think a lot of people will, like hide behind keyboards or their screens and even build up fake personas that don't really exist. If they w- if, if we could just go out, I think we would find a lot more compassion for our neighbors, our, uh, grocery store clerks, like whoever it is.</p>
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<p>I have to go grocery shopping for peaches, so like- ... just doing that and going out and being part of the community, we would have more community if we would actually do it. </p>
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<p>I, I totally agree. Like just s- the... Our ability to see and hear and appreciate one another in, uh... So things like this platform, things like Zoom or Microsoft Teams do allow us to break down the barrier of distance, and so that's really cool.</p>
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<p>Um, but there's nothing, there's nothing like being in person with, uh, someone else. So we've talked about peaches and ice cream. Of course, it's America's birthday, and usually people will serve cake for a birthday. So this is a two-part question, Kyle. What kind of cake are you serving for America's 250th?</p>
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<p>And as we blow out the candles, what is a wish that you have for the country? </p>
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<p>Uh, being a dad first, I'm gonna ha- I, I'm a girl dad of two, so it's gotta be a, a unicorn sparkle cake of some sorts. Okay. </p>
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<p>Perfect. </p>
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<p>Um- </p>
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<p>I love it ... </p>
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<p>there's no, no doubt. They're very young, so that's... it's unicorn or princess. Okay. Um, could be Frozen.</p>
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<p>And my... I think my wish is, I think it just to, like, put the phones down and just build community. </p>
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<p>That's a good wish. That's a good wish. So in my last conversation in this series, I spoke with Lloyd, who is up in Minnesota. He has a question for you, and his question is: what's one conversation, Kyle, that changed your perspective on something, and what, what shifted in that perspective?</p>
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<p>So I think we had a, a group series. I'm gonna cheat a little bit on this one. Um- I won't use AI. So- ... so we actually had a, a, a group chat at one point, and, uh, and, and you've mentioned it in a different podcast as well. I will butcher this, so good thing that we're not in the same room 'cause you might throw something.</p>
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<p>Uh, but there's, there's a scenario where, like, you have... You might even finish it for me. You have, like, two rocks in your pockets, and you reach in and you grab one, and it says you're incredibly special, and then the other one is you're incredibly ordinary, or it was close to that. Um, and I still think about that.</p>
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<p>I thought about it today on my run. Uh, like, every single day I think about that through tough situations, tough scenarios, uh, whatever it is, and I've actually spread that even in, um, like, my last ultra that I did fail at. I'd, I'd kinda talked through that, and I'm like, "Look, you are both those things in one, like, all the time.</p>
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<p>You're, like, incredibly special. Um, super privileged to, to be able to do whatever you're doing, even breathe. Um, but then also don't let it get to your head. You're-- We're all kind of normal, and in some sense we're all relatively the same." </p>
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<p>Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's pretty cool. That's awesome. Thanks. Like, thanks for sharing that one.</p>
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<p>That's really cool. I will definitely let Lloyd also in on that response. But- Did I- ... you're right. Like, we're all... Yeah, you, you, uh, you, you got, you got the spirit of it, like, which is great. You know, basically, it's like, uh, you know, what pocket, you know, do you grab, grab from? Or it's sort of like, what wolf do you feed?</p>
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<p>There's also a story, uh, people reference that it's an indigenous story, but I don't think it really is. It's about, like, you know, there are two wolves and, you know, and the, the grandson is talking to the grandfather, and the grandfather's talking about these two wolves, and w- like, which wol- you know, like, wh- which wolf wins out?</p>
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<p>That's the big question in the story. I'm, I'm shortening it for, uh, the sake of our podcast here. But it, basically, the punchline is, is, like, whatever wolf you feed, that's the one that will continue to grow. And so it, like, it's, yeah, it's like, what pocket do you, do you grab from? And the fact is, like, yeah, like, we're, we're all incredibly amazing, and we're all, like, perfectly imperfect.</p>
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<p>Like, it's all of it, right? And so-- and we have, we have a choice in, in how we show up for ourselves and each other, and we have a choice as to which pocket we pull from. Um, because if we pull from the pocket that says that we're nothing- And we just continue to fuel that story, then it really keeps us away from, like, making a greater impact.</p>
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<p>And it doesn't have to be a global impact, but just impact maybe with, with our family. I- if you pull the rock that says, "You're the most amazing thing in the world," then there's a risk of, like, being somewhat narcissistic and all full of yourself and not, not having any humble pie. You know, which I think a little humility can go a long way.</p>
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<p>So we're, we're all of it, and that's, I think, part of living a meaningful life is just to open ourselves up to all of it, and that's, you know, it's, it's not necessarily easy. It's a lot easier to say it than to do it, but, um, through a good practice, I think we can get there. So. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>So what question do you have for, um, the next person I chat with?</p>
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<p>Uh, it will be America-focused, and so if you had to pick a spirit animal for America, what would it be? </p>
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<p>Ooh. </p>
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<p>And so... </p>
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<p>Wow. </p>
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<p>Yeah. We, we- </p>
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<p>That's a good one ... </p>
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<p>we shall see. Yeah, that could be, could be interesting. Hopefully it doesn't catch... </p>
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<p>Yeah. So do, do people go with the, the eagle, you know? Do they go- Oh, </p>
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<p>maybe the one caveat is it can't be the eagle- </p>
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<p>Okay.</p>
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<p>All right ... '</p>
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<p>cause that's </p>
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<p>like the default go-to. We'll, we'll adjust it. Can I </p>
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<p>add? </p>
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<p>Yeah, you can, you can totally adjust. Okay. Hey, this is all... Remember, it's, this is the perfectly imperfect union. You know, they, they, we can, we can change things as we go, man. So, so as long as it's not an eagle, what's the spirit animal that best represents the US?</p>
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<p>Hmm. Well, I'm gonna think about that one myself, and I will definitely ask the next person I chat with in our series what, what they have to say about your question. So Kyle, thanks man for doing this and representing the great state of Georgia, whether or not it's the capital of peaches. And for anyone out there listening, you might know the band Presidents of the United States.</p>
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<p>They have a whole song called Peaches. You can... I'll put the link in the show notes, and that will carry you through the summer. But Kyle, uh, keep riding, man, keep pedaling, and thanks for being here. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Cool. Appreciate it. Thanks for having me. </p>
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<p>Peace.</p>
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<p>Clearly, Kyle and I were channeling Peaches' energy, and I might still have had Kimberly Coates' conversation on my mind. If you didn't check that out, it was two conversations ago here on Whole Again and the Perfectly Imperfect Union series. And let's be honest, when you get a deliciously ripe peach, that's good eating, right?</p>
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<p>And I appreciate Kyle's response to Lloyd's question about changing one's perspective. What Kyle referenced is actually a meditation I have on my Pause, Breathe, Reflect app, which is completely free to download via Apple's App Store or Google Play. You can do a quick search, and voilà, you can find it.</p>
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<p>And I also really dig Kyle's question about spirit animals. So how would you respond to Kyle? What do you think America's spirit animal is if it can't be an eagle? I'm gonna say, given the state of affairs right now, America feels more like a meerkat, always on edge, always looking out for something dangerous.</p>
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<p>But my traditional answer would be a bison, especially after I rode through Yellowstone National Park and saw the bison there. Incredible creatures. Well, I'll ask Sarah about Kyle's question in our next conversation. And as always, thank you for being here. Thank you for listening and helping us create a more perfectly imperfect union.</p>
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<p>And I hope you'll tune in to tomorrow's episode of Whole Again. Until then, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>