A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Jessica-Rose Johnson

<p> Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.</p>
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<p>And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not, but my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
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<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your perfectly imperfect neighbors, just like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Jessica Rose Johnson</p>
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<p>Jessica Rose, so good to see you. Thanks for doing this. Thanks for joining me on A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you today? </p>
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<p>I'm doing great. I'm so excited to be here, and I love the essence behind what you're doing, and I'm just- I'm thrilled to be able to be a part of this. </p>
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<p>Well, I'm so- I'm so thankful that you accepted a random outreach by some dude on the East Coast to join me.</p>
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<p>Uh, this is awesome. I also totally dig the ripple effect that you're putting into the world. So I've had a chance to read up on some of your work, but for those that don't know who you are, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and also let us know what state you are living in currently? </p>
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<p>Yes. I'm Jessica Rose Johnson.</p>
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<p>I live in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I'm a Marine Corps veteran, an author, keynote speaker. I host the Unbreakable Hope podcast, and I am a recent widow after caring for my husband, Andrew, for six years with his second brain cancer diagnosis. So a big part of my mission is just helping people love deeply through life's hardest seasons 'cause we all go through them, but reminders that hard things don't end us.</p>
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<p>So yeah, my life's been shaped a lot by military service, caregiving, and losses that I've experienced. But more than anything, I'm just been shaped by gratitude and hope, uh, from really training my brain to focus on the light because if not, the darkness will definitely consume us. </p>
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<p>Absolutely. I'm so sorry for your loss of, uh, your passing of your husband and, um, I know that takes a lot to go through, and we all go through that process a little bit differently.</p>
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<p>And, uh, s- thank you so much for your service to the country. So, uh, uh, but what- what you shared is, is so true. Like, we, you know, we can allow the, the darkness to consume us, and some- somehow we try to find some light as a counterbalance and, and maybe we hold both at the same time, like the darkness and the light and the, the goodness and the not so goodness, and that's how we find a way to navigate through all, all of this.</p>
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<p>So- I've been asking folks, you know, as America turns 250 or h- has already turned 250, but we have a whole year to celebrate this birthday, what America means to them. So if you're around the picnic table, little barbecue, and your friends and family ask you, "Hey, what does America mean to you, Jessica Rose?"</p>
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<p>what do you say? What do you- how do you respond? </p>
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<p>I think a big thing that America means to me is freedom. A, a lot of us take it for granted for how much that we have, but think of how much of a blessing and a, a joy it is to be able to, uh, wake up every day in a country that has fought for its rights. And are we perfect?</p>
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<p>Absolutely not. But the thing that I think is so cool about America is that we have the freedom to make it a better place while so many other places don't. So when I think of, like, the red, white, and blue and I think of standing up for the national anthem, I just think of how grateful I am that I'm here in America and I'm able to be on this podcast right now with you, and I'm able to speak about things with you because so many other people don't have that ability where they're living.</p>
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<p>Yeah, that's so... It's so true. Other people have underscored this sense of freedom. And, and now the people that have shared it, much like you have shared it, they've traveled a lot internationally. And, you know, I'm not sure how much travel you did through your military service, but when we get outside of our own little town or, or our own state, um, and we explore, w- we can appreciate some of the things that we have that we do take for granted, uh, because it's not, it's not this way in other places in the world.</p>
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<p>So I wanted to ask you, I skipped over this, but we also have a big country and, and so many people haven't traveled all over the world, but they haven't really even traveled to each state in the Union. So if for those that don't know much about Oklahoma, except maybe the Oklahoma, you know, Thunder, Oklahoma City's...</p>
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<p>That's, that, that's their, that, you know, sports defines us all, right, in some ways. So they know the Thunder. But beyond the Oklahoma City Thunder, what's something s- really cool about Oklahoma that people might not know about if they haven't, they haven't been to your state? </p>
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<p>I think a big thing that Oklahoma is maybe known for, but not really recognized for, is we've had a tremendous amount of hardships in our state.</p>
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<p>You know, if you're starting back at the, the Dust Bowl, right? The amount of tornadoes that we have, the Oklahoma City bombing, right? But the one thing about Oklahoma is we just keep rebuilding, and neighbors really do show up when it counts, you know? When there's a natural disaster, I'm part of my Medical Reserve Corps, and it's just amazing how service is just normal here, right?</p>
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<p>It's, uh... I think Oklahoma and all these hardships, it really teaches us a different level of resilience and how to rebuild, because life just keeps happening. So no matter what disaster strikes, you know, people don't ask, "Whose side are you on?" Right? They just say, "What do you need? How can we help?" And it's just this overflow of love and support, and that's what really makes Oklahoma home.</p>
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<p>That's so cool to see. It's like the c- the local community, like when it's strong like that, as you describe, th- that can be such a great source of resilience. Like, 'cause, 'cause we don't necessarily get back up by ourselves. We get back up together. And, you know, to have that be part of like, almost like the sense I get as you're sharing, it's part of the Oklahoma DNA.</p>
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<p>So it's like this is, people like us do things like this. We help each other in times of need, and also in good times. We got each other's back, and we don't necessarily have to all think the same way about things. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Just like sports teams. Like </p>
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<p>you said. Just like a sports team. Absolutely. Absolutely.</p>
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<p>Yep. So, you know, this country has some great stories of how people- came to this country, came to this land. So some, some folks, you know, their past generations of their family were here long before it was known as the United States of America. Uh, some people have come here through o- other means, through force.</p>
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<p>You know, that's their story of coming to this land and this country. And then there's a whole bunch of families that have an immigrant- immigration story or, you know, they've, they've come from different lands to come to build something better here. Do you, do you know much about your family's story of coming to America?</p>
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<p>Yes. I actually, kinda like the two, two branches. My mom's side, through storytelling, it's my... I may track this wrong, but it's like my mom's dad's mother was full-blooded Blackfoot Indian. Uh, but it's really hard to get actual like Evidence or proof or the lineage is really hard to trace on that. But on my dad's side, he was able to trace our lineage all the way back to Scotland.</p>
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<p>Oh, wow. But as far as America, we were here before America was the United States because every generation in my family has served in the military all the way back to the Revolutionary War. So I'm actually a blood lineage of the Daughters of the Revolutionary War. Wow. Uh, my grandfather served in the Navy, both my parents served in the Air Force, you know, serving in the Marine Corps myself, my husband's serving in the Navy.</p>
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<p>It's just my whole family has this military legacy and service. But that's kind of our journey. My dad has traced us all the way back to Scotland to how we got the spelling of our name, and we have a coat of arms, and it's really cool 'cause- </p>
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<p>Wow, </p>
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<p>that's so cool ... I love history. There's so much, so much behind it.</p>
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<p>Yeah. I, I interviewed, um, Maggie Mick, uh, from, uh, Louisville, Kentucky. She also has lineage back to the Daughters of the American Revolution, so going way back. And so she, sh- sh- she and her family, like, went all the way back to their first home a- a- a- as a family. It used to be, like, Ben Franklin's home in Philadelphia.</p>
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<p>It was, like, s- it was, it was, like, so cool. So, like, when we can trace our history back, it, you know, tells us, you know, this, this wonderful story, and sometimes it's messy and complicated as sometimes families are. But, like, it, it brings, it brings a level of, um, context and, and, and some richness to, like, who are we, right?</p>
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<p>And so, uh, by all sounds of things, you're a f- you are part of a family who shows up for service, which is so cool. It's like that's how we, that's how we built this country. So it's really cool that your family goes back all those different generations and has those ties to military service. That's cool.</p>
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<p>Yeah. I, I love it. And it's such, it's such an honor to be able to continue that legacy. </p>
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<p>Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So one of the things that, you know, obviously is in the news a lot is just, I mean, we talked about coming together as Oklahomans do, but we also have, like, a thread out there on social media or regular media about how divided we are and how, like, we may not be perfect.</p>
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<p>You know? And, and what is perfect, right? We all have some blemishes and wrinkles. So I use the Japanese art form of Kintsugi as a metaphor for this, for this series and also just my overall podcast. You know, like, things can break, but we can come back together, right? And we can actually highlight those fractures, those broken spots, and they become symbols of our resilience and strength, the golden repair, if you will.</p>
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<p>So if you could, like, help us come Together greater, a more connected way, maybe in a healing way, uh, maybe in a growth way. It may not be perfect, but it's a good first step. What would you like to work on to help us form that better connection? </p>
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<p>I think communicating. We live in such a lonely society.</p>
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<p>There's lots of things that go into that, and I think a big thing that people, we're just not talking anymore. It seems like every topic has become taboo. Or if we are talking, it's more like we're talking to perform. We're not, we're not talking because we're curious. We're not asking questions to get to know people, and we've stopped listening.</p>
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<p>It's very... It almost seems like when we c- converse, it's transactional. And I'm grateful that my husband and I were big communicators, especially in early stages of our relationship and through our marriage because we had all these meaningful, important, hard conversations before life got hard when our hardship stripped that ability away.</p>
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<p>Yeah. You know? And I feel like if, if we really truly listen to people, people are willing to tell us what they need. But I think we just don't communicate enough, and if we did, we would discover that we really have a lot more in common than we think we do, and stop listening to outside sources trying to tell us what and how to think.</p>
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<p>Yeah. Oh, that's so, that's so prevalent, uh, nowadays. I love the fact that you, you, you know, you did share about how you and your husband approached communication, that you worked on it. Like, you, you built... What I hear in your response is, like, you built a foundation of good communication and listening skills.</p>
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<p>So when things got tough, when your foundation was rocked, if you will, you could, you could weather that storm. And, uh, so I'm curious, what, was it something like this communication and listening skill, was it something that you each brought into the relationship as you started dating and got engaged? Or was it something you intentionally said, "Hey, hey, we have to work on this.</p>
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<p>Let's, let's work on this together." Or maybe a little bit of both? </p>
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<p>Maybe a little bit of both, but I think we were both at places in our lives, we used to joke that if we met any time sooner we probably wouldn't have gotten together, but- ... we both were just like, "Look, these are my values and this is what's important to me, so you either agree with this and we continue talking, or this is a deal breaker and we don't."</p>
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<p>But we started off, like right off the bat, like boom, boom, boom. Yeah. And then the more things happened, the more we're like, "Okay, this is my opinion." And sometimes when we'd have that moment and say, "Hey, we really need to talk about this situation," then we would both laugh realizing that we were both interpreting the other person's thoughts or feelings, which was making us make decisions that weren't really helping either of us.</p>
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<p>Yeah. And it definitely helped 'cause my husband was non-verbal for the last three years of his life. </p>
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<p>Oh. </p>
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<p>So finding ways to continue to communicate even when the actual words are taken from you, that takes a- Sure ... a lot more time and dedication, but if you don't build that from the beginning, it's a lot harder to build it after time has gone on.</p>
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<p>And especially build it when things get really, you know, get challenging and rough, you know? I, I know my wife would so appreciate what you just said, like how you and your husband just sort of set the terms right up front. I think it was m- I, I hope I don't, I, I hope I don't get this wrong, but like on our third date between my wife and I, uh, you know, we ended the date and I was like, "I'll call you," and then she, she was like, "Hey, listen.</p>
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<p>Don't tell me you're gonna call me if you're not gonna call me. If you're not gonna call me, just tell me right now that you're not gonna call me. I'm a grown woman, like I can handle it, but do not tell me you're gonna call me and you, you, and you, if you don't if you don't call me." She gave me like a, a two-minute speech.</p>
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<p>I was so flabbergasted. I got lost driving home and, uh, I did, I did call her r- right away. And so we've been mar- we've been married now for, uh, 32 years, so I think it, it worked out. But it was good. You know, she was the type of person, she is the type of person, she's like, "Okay, this is, this is how it's going to be," and it's really clear.</p>
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<p>And so with clarity then you can have, you know, you can have that type of communication approach that you're looking for. So, um, very cool. So is there something ... With bir- with birthdays, as America's turned 250 again, we've gone past the July 4th big day, you know, where there's celebration and cake and stuff like that, but we still can make a wish.</p>
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<p>So is there something that you wish for? For America, as she, you know, turns 250 and we celebrate who she is right now at, at her, um, still pretty young age relative to other countries around the world </p>
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<p>I, I want America not to be remembered for what we built, but for how we loved each other. </p>
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<p>Mm. Okay. </p>
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<p>You know, the, the service of our neighbors, our volunteerism, our investment in our families as core dynamics and principles, you know, how, how we build up our communities.</p>
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<p>I think that's a big thing. I would hope that Our generation, as we're going into 250 years, right, that, that we choose hope and love over cynicism and hatred because I would hate to see us reach 250 years and almost revert back or become another country that clearly doesn't have the same values and freedoms that we do.</p>
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<p>Yeah. I, I, I share that. I think that's a great wish. I think l- you know, l- loving more, you know, and more compassion, more empathy, more kindness. Coming at it, I, I often say this, um, that we, we should gather around with l- like-heartedness that's open to different mindedness as opposed to just trying to find like-minded people.</p>
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<p>So if we can come from a good place in our heart, love and kindness, gratitude, all those different things that we've both just talked about, then we can sit with each other and not necessarily agree, but we can appreciate that we, we might see the world a little bit differently based on our lived experiences and be curious with one another instead of like poking the finger at each other as we, as we seem to be doing of, of late.</p>
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<p>So we'll round out here. I've... What I've been doing is asking the person before you if they have a question for you. So the last person I spoke to was Veronica in Connecticut, and her question to you, Jessica Rose, is where are you stewarding the gift that God has given you, or how are you stewarding the gift that you've been given, this precious gift called life?</p>
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<p>I think there's a lot of additional gifts besides the breath in my lungs that God's gifted me with, and one that I like to joke with is that I'm a talkaholic. Uh, so I like- ... to say I use my voice for good. You know, having- Yeah ... a podcast and being a keynote speaker, and I remember when my husband was going through his second brain cancer diagnosis just praying like, "Let our story be love and light into this world."</p>
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<p>So I feel like that's the gift that God gave me, so even though my husband is no longer here on Earth with me, like I'm given this gift to be able to speak and share our story. Uh, but I don't use that gift improperly like singing 'cause I'm tone deaf and it's really horrific. So I try to be, um, mindful of my voice that I do use.</p>
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<p>Well, we might be able to have a battle about like who's worse at singing. You know, if you ask my daughters, they will say, "Oh, it, it, it's definitely you, Dad." Like we would w- back in the day when American Idol was a little bit more popular We would watch it as a family a- and I would say like, "I'm not as bad as that guy, right?"</p>
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<p>And they're like, "No, you're worse." So yeah. I was like, "All right, that's cool. I know my place. I know... I think I know..." We both know like where our strengths lie and what we should avoid, and that's good. That's, that, again, good clarity to move forward, so I, I love it. I think you are using your voice in such a great way to, to help many, and again, uh, keep, keep pulling this thread of service that's, uh, part of your story and your family's story.</p>
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<p>So it's a beautiful ripple effect to put into the world. So what question do you have for the next person I chat with in, in our series? </p>
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<p>I would love for them to give some advice on what's one thing that people could do today to make this country a better place. So just one thing. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Cool. Well, I think one, one, one thing might be being on this series.</p>
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<p>Like, that's part of the goal is to share the real everyday folk putting good ripples into the world, and hopefully people can see their story and other people's stories and realize that we're not alone, that we, we can figure things out. We can, we can be that hand that lifts people up, just as you mentioned, like as Oklahomans do.</p>
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<p>And with that, we can, we can form a more perfectly imperfect union together. So, uh, I love it, Jessica Rose. I thank you so much again for accepting a random outreach and joining me here and all that you're doing, uh, to help us create a better tomorrow for not just some of us, but, but for all of us. So, uh, I appreciate you.</p>
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<p>Again, thanks for being here. </p>
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<p>Thanks for having me, and I think what you're doing is wonderful.</p>
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<p>I just love Jessica Rose's energy, her commitment to compassion, to empathy, to love, and that thread of service that runs through her and her whole family. She's an inspiration, and I love her question: What can you do today to make things a bit better? So how would you respond? It doesn't have to be huge.</p>
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<p>It can be just a small step. It can be something as simple as holding the door open as you go to the store today, because in that moment, you can help people feel heard and seen, and we all wanna feel that way. So let me know again in the comment section, what can you do today to make the world just a bit better for all of us, not just some of us?</p>
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<p>And as always, thanks for listening. Thanks for being here, and I hope you'll check out the next episode of Whole again and continue to listen in to this series, A Perfectly Imperfect Union. But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>