Ted Lasso Episode 7, Season 4 - Yes And or Yes, Baby!

<p> And something else? Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of the person you're becoming and a meaningful life. And that question, "And something else?" was a key to where I am today, although at the time I didn't know it. Let me share a story. When I was younger, on Thursdays my mom would take us grocery shopping.</p>
<p></p>
<p>We would hit Wegmans, we'd go to the butcher, and since my dad loved cashews, we'd go to the candy and nut store in the plaza. And when my mom ordered his cashews, the owner always said, "And something else?" And as a seven-year-old, I was like, "Oh my God, there's so much here that I just love." "And something else" was filled with possibilities.</p>
<p></p>
<p>On a good week, my mom let us buy something. On most weeks she didn't. That's okay. Because, again, although I didn't know it at the time, the shop owner was teaching me a valuable lesson: the power of and. Yes, and. I like to say today two of the most powerful words in the English language are and and yet, and they bring us to episode number seven of season four of Ted Lasso, which I've been doing a whole recap series, if you've been following, to tie the lessons of each episode back to the themes here of Whole Again: meaning, mindfulness, and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And in this particular episode, we can start to see the shift in Alice. As I mentioned in the past, she's gonna be the hero in this season's hero's journey, or a shero in the shero's journey. Last week, we talked about how we were in the messy middle, the abyss, if we look at the hero's journey through Campbell's work.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But before I go any further, let's back up and set the stage. You might recall from last week, Alice was suspended, and the rest of the characters, they were all going through their own kerfuffle. Again, the messy middle. But as we come into episode seven, we can see that Alice is trying to make the shift.</p>
<p></p>
<p>She's watching a video which looks like it's AI generated, my two cents. And the phony coach on the video is telling Alice to lean into the power of yes. So Alice tries this on, and you can see this is completely foreign to her. It's almost like her body is trying to resist the whole concept of yes.</p>
<p></p>
<p>There's one big allergic reaction. Because saying yes to everything without any boundaries isn't something that's really cool. It's not kind. It's really just passive surrender. We lay down, we roll on our backs, and we just expose ourselves to everything and everybody. So Alice just starts saying yes to everything and everyone.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And Lasso, in his wisdom, starts to catch on. He's seen this before So Lassoed and Beard pull Alice off to the side and say, "Hey, I notice you're working on something." They tell a little funny story, and they give her the power of and. So instead of saying yes to everything, she can say yes, and... This actually works really well when you're coaching people at work.</p>
<p></p>
<p>You might have heard about the feedback sandwich. Something you're really good at, but you're not good here, and then you end with the better part of the sandwich. The way I've always structured my feedback sessions, my performance reviews, which should be done away with, but that's a whole other topic, is to say to my team member, "Yes, you're doing all these things really well, and you would be even stronger if you were able to work on X, Y, and Z."</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's a much better way of delivering feedback than that classic feedback sandwich that we've been taught to do over the years. But I digress. Today, that's not the focus. It's more about resilience and the power of yes, and in helping us become more resilient. You see, resilient people have a way of accepting reality.</p>
<p></p>
<p>They don't pretend that everything is all peachy keen or hunky dory. So when we say yes to something, we can acknowledge what's real. We don't argue with reality, and when we insert the power of and, that restores our agency. So things might not be going well, yes, things suck right now, and, and is where we assert our boundaries, our expectations, and we determine our next play.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So as I talk about hitting pause, taking a breath, and reflection, yes, and fits in that reflection. We hit pause, we take a few deep breaths. Yes, here's the situation, and regain our agency, our ability to make a decision as to how we show up next. And there's a really cool scene between Alice and Shannon where all this plays out, and Gemma's also part of it, 'cause Gemma starts to see Alice's growth.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Shannon wants to get in on a particular aspect of practice. Alice says yes, and then with a pause, she says, "And I want you to attack this drill in a way that I know you can." Again, a beautiful display of the power of yes, and. Another way Alice does this is through the believe sign that has appeared in season four.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As you know, Ted brought us believe, and that was turned into a Kensugi believe at the end of season three. Well, the sign has come back, and Ted's wrestling with, where do we put it? How do we make it our own so it's not a rinse and repeat from the men's team? How do we truly make believe our own? Now, the whole episode starts with something that's very human, the "yes, but."</p>
<p></p>
<p>How often do you hear that at work or in other aspects of your life, or even when you're talking to yourself? "Yes, I could do that, but, oh, there's so many reasons why I can't." So the whole episode starts with a whole bunch of real-world life moments that, quite frankly, suck. No one likes them. So as we get to the end of this episode, a lot of those come back in reaction to Alice putting up the believe sign.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And they're like, "Yeah, I'll believe, but what about this? But what about that?" And the list can go on and on and on. We do so much of this yes, but-ing in our lives, I think we're actually numb to it. We don't realize how much we're doing it. So Alice, again, in her growth, she is our Kintsugi hero in this season, my opinion.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Gotta love her willingness, her courage to work on this because it's so easy to put up a hand and say, "Lasso and Beard are crackpots." She's getting after it, which I applaud. That's resilience in action. She simply puts a little Post-it note with the word "and." Believe and win. So in that little Post-it note, she takes something that is relatively passive, belief, and turns it into something that is action forward.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes, believe. We need that belief. And let's win. Let's do something with our belief. And this is key. We can all have practices of mindfulness, of belief, of faith, but if we don't do anything with them, if we don't take action as a result of having belief, then what good is it? It doesn't create a ripple effect.</p>
<p></p>
<p>What we see in Season Seven is the power of yes, and, of possibility, of abundance, of yes, acceptance. Yes, here is the deal and agency. We're gonna do something with it The yet word I mentioned up front in this episode isn't referenced in this episode, but I do believe yes and and yet are two of the most powerful phrases or words, maybe it's three words, in the English language.</p>
<p></p>
<p>We've already covered yes and. Yet is it hasn't happened yet, as in I haven't finished this puzzle yet. Yet holds the door open. Or I haven't finished this episode yet, but I'm about to. So this week, try on yes and. Try on accepting what's real, what's in front of you, and instead of using but, use and to restore your agency.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Let me know how that goes.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As always, thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. If you haven't yet checked out the series I'm running all summer up until Election Day called A Perfectly Imperfect Union, where I'm talking to everyday folks about their reflections of the country as it turns 250, I hope you'll check out the next episode, which is tomorrow.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>