A Perfectly Imperfect Union Series: Reflections on America 250 with Dr. Beatrice Anduze-Faris
For the latest episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, I stay right here in The Garden State and connect with Dr. Beatrice Anduze-Faris.
What if some of the weight you're carrying was never yours to begin with?
Beatrice was born in Canada, raised in Paris, and became a US citizen in 2011. After more than 20 years as an MD and pharma executive, she's now a life transformation Sherpa.
She's also a fan of Kintsugi, which helps people heal, and she believes the same golden repair can work for a country. Much of what weighs on us, she says, was handed down from generation to generation, and that burden only hurts the person carrying it.
We also talk about the trip that fueled her desire to come to America. At 16, Bea came to the US on her own and flew coast to coast in a tiny Cessna 120 over 12 days.
You can connect with her via her website.
And her question for you and our next guest is:
Have you found your true purpose yet? And if so, how long did it take you to realize what it is?
Share your thoughts in the comments and share this episode with someone you love.
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<p> Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
<p></p>
<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But here, I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old. And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your fellow neighbors who is perfectly imperfect like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Beatrice Anduza Ferris.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Bea, good to see you. Thanks for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union and accepting my random outreach on LinkedIn. So how are you doing this afternoon? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Glad to be here, Michael. Thank you so much for the invite, and I'm feeling great. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, well, so that's awesome. I, I'm looking forward to our conversation.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As I mentioned before we hit the record button, when I s- find someone who knows something about Kintsugi, I feel compelled to reach out to that person, and so I saw that in your LinkedIn profile. So I've been able to do a little homework about, you know, your background. Not comprehensive by any imagine, but I know enough just to be dangerous.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So I was hoping, though, you could spend a moment to introduce yourself, uh, from your voice, and also, where in this great country are you calling us from? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. So thank you for that. So I'm calling from New Jersey, and we'll talk about that in a minute. I like to say that I'm born in Canada, raised in Paris, and became a US citizen in two thousand eleven.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Uh, I'm an MD by training. I'm a pharma executive for more than twenty years of my life, and I am now a life transformation Sherpa. And, um, some of the things that I like are flying, although I don't fly actively anymore, um, music, dogs, and hammocks. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And so what I do now after, after a long career in pharma is I help professionals let go of what's holding them back and build the next chapter of their life.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I love it. Yeah, for those listening, Bea, you do not have a Jersey accent. So I was like, you know, so </p>
<p></p>
<p>Not really, no. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Not really. Not really. It's like it's... that's not, that's not from this area. So I, I love it. I love- Although I've been- I love hammocks ... in the </p>
<p></p>
<p>state now for more than twenty-two years. </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right.</p>
<p></p>
<p>That is awesome. So out of curiosity, how did you come across the art and philosophy of Kintsugi? </p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh my goodness. I, um, I have been passionate about Japanese arts and particularly Japanese healing arts for pretty much all my life, and although I have Vietnamese blood running in my veins, somehow I connect with the Japanese culture a lot more.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And, um, so it, it started with Aikido in, in my teen years. Uh, it continued with Shiatsu and Reiki and other self-wellness tools. And I stumbled, I knew kin- con- the concept of kintsugi, but I stumbled across it in my, in the context of being a life transformation Sherpa, 'cause I wanted to explain to people how do you mend yourself from past traumatic experiences and become the best version of yourself.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And I thought kintsugi was exactly that. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. I love it. I love it. I also love your use of Sherpa. I often talk about going back home, as I will do tomorrow, back home to Rochester, New York, where my dad is, to, uh, help Sherpa him, uh, through some medical appointments. So um, so I love, I just love that whole concept of the, the, the guide, uh, in support.</p>
<p></p>
<p>There's connection there. So I love how you bring that forward in the, in the work that you do. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Exactly. I think we have so many coaches out there, but the Sherpa has a better connotation in my view. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. Well, there's, um, there's a wisdom, right? There's a... With a Sherpa, there's a wisdom of the mountain, of the terrain, and there's, there, there's something about that wisdom that's deeper to, at least to me, that's how I, how I view the word and also the job of being a Sherpa, so.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. Uh, so I- It's about you- Yeah ... you walk, I've walked the path before you, so I know- Yes ... some of the, the directions. Yeah. I know where the obstacles are, and I know what to do with them. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, you know how to get around them. Absolutely. So having connections to Canada and France and then, uh, certainly coming to America, I'm curious about how you respond to a question I've been asking people in the series.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Uh, you know, as America has turned 250 years old this year, which still makes it somewhat of a petulant teenager, I guess, uh, compared to other nations, uh, so what does America mean to you? </p>
<p></p>
<p>America has always meant to me the land of possibility and freedom. So growing up in Paris, in a country that has always kind of looked up to the United States and America, um, as the, as the, the land of new promise, um- We've-- I've always looked up at the American dream since I was 15 years old.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, and one of the dreams that I had... So when I, when I was 15 years old, I discovered my favorite author, Richard Bach, who, who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions, favorite book. Um, and it gave me the dream of flight. And so when I was 16 years old, I actually came to the United States on a trip by myself for two months, and I happened to know someone who had a Cessna 120, which is a really tiny, tiny plane, and we crossed the country together in a 12-day trip from East Coast to West Coast.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Wow. </p>
<p></p>
<p>So that not only gave me the certainty that I wanted to fly, but it also gave me the appetite for coming to the United States. And so I went through my medical career and my pharma career, and I found a way to come to the US eventually through pharma. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Wow. That is such a cool story. Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So many of us, all the corporate warriors that we both try to help, are used to flying, you know, uh, but, but in the back of the plane. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, per- perhaps in coach, or if they're lucky to have privilege, they fly up closer to the cockpit of a plane. So as a pilot yourself, I think you're the first pilot I've spoken to in the series.</p>
<p></p>
<p>What's it like to fly up there, like actually doing the flying of the plane, that we might not appreciate just being passengers of, of the plane? </p>
<p></p>
<p>So what I like the most is the perspective. Okay. Because as soon as you take off, things get smaller and smaller really, really fast. And then the, the thought process is, there's still the life that I know out there on the ground, but I can see a lot more now.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Uh, as soon as you get that altitude, you see you have a lot more perspective. There's a lot more people than you think. There's, you know, all these houses, all these cities, all these terrains. Um- And, and I think ultimately flying, and I flew also in the north of Canada in a air rally a couple years after my pilot's license, there's really this, it's, uh, it's the embodiment of freedom for me.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So you, you talked about what America means to me- Yeah ... but this freedom is really personified by, by flying. </p>
<p></p>
<p>You know, this series is somewhat sparked by my bike ride across the country in 2022, as you might know. And I do think this country is really built to be traveled by bicycle. And when we travel by bike rather than car, we're going at a slower pace, so we're, we have the opportunities to see more things.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Like we- our perspective changes. But as you were sharing about flying across the country, I'm like, that must have been, like, a really cool perspective as well, because you can see this wh- whole vista in front of you and just that perspective and the distance. And I, yeah, I just think that's a, also a great, wonderful perspective to bring into, like, you know, how we see, how we see things or how we s- you know, in this particular case, how we see the country.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So, um, yeah, that def- definitely, like, popped up as you were sharing, so thanks for sharing that. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Similar with a different, um, different scale to the crew that went around the moon and came back. Yeah, yeah. You know, when you get that perspective, you see the entire planet, and you think about the country, you think about the planet, and you're like, "Why do we have all these conflicts and all these wars?"</p>
<p></p>
<p>'Cause we're just a tiny little thing of blue in the middle of space, and we have to stick together- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, </p>
<p></p>
<p>we- ... and survive on this </p>
<p></p>
<p>planet. We, yeah, we're all, um... I like to think that we're- To borrow a cycling term that I use quite frequently, we're all in the same peloton. Uh, we, we're somewhat forced to ride together.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. So, um, because this is, this is the road that we happen to be on. So are, are there moments, you know, uh, uh, as you mentioned, there's conflict, and we feel divided, and in a lot of cases, we, we are divided, but there are forces at play to amplify that divisiveness for really their gain. Uh, but are there times where you feel really connected to your fellow neighbor or, or to this country, even if you happen to be in a situation where you know there's people with a whole bunch of different perspectives on how they see things?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. You've, you've talked about how we are more similar than we are different. Um, and I think we are all going through this human experience wearing a, a very sophisticated time and space suit, which is called our body. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And so we all have to manage that experience. Not that the experience is the same, but the framework is.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Uh, and whether we are humans or animals, by the way. And I just think that that's what we have the most in common, regardless of color of skin and religion and culture and where we come from and where we're going. We all have the same appetite for safety and for joy and for making sure our next generation makes it, makes it well, right?</p>
<p></p>
<p>And, and that, that is timeless. I think it ha- it always been that way. So we just need to recognize it. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. I hear you on that. I, I, I, you know, through this series, there's so many people have reached out and said, "You know what? Like, in that person's story from maybe halfway across the country or maybe all the way across the country, like I, I heard a little bit of my story in their story."</p>
<p></p>
<p>And if we can start to break that down, like we all, yeah, we're all trying to figure this out as we get hurled through space, and we all want some of the b- you know, basic safeties and needs and desires. And when you travel a- across the, across the planet, you realize as you meet other people in other countries, you're like, "Oh, yeah, you too."</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. Exactly. You, you too. You too are trying to figure this out. Like, no one has all the answers, but hopefully together we can, um, we can lead with some lightheartedness and some compassion to help each other through this moment. Yeah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>A- and this also Can be found, this commonality, through very simple questions.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. And Dale Carnegie used to teach that, is the way to connect with people is asking them what their front door looks like, uh, what their line of work looks like, um, who, who do they love? What do they love to do? And I guarantee that after three or four minutes you will find commonality with peoples that, you know, you didn't think you would have anything in common.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. I think we can all find at least one thing we're like, "Hey, we can, uh, uh, we can agree on that," right? You know, just, you know, even, even if we don't see the rest of the world in a similar way, we can agree on, like, one thing, you know? And, um, and that's the start, you know, that one thing could be the foundational topic to ve- to develop some trust.</p>
<p></p>
<p>With trust we can pull that thread just a little bit more and maybe get into some conversations that are a little bit more challenging. But if you, if we do those, if we have those with some level of trust, I think we can navigate those better, so. Um, so we talked, you know, we talked about healing earlier up front when we first started, and we've talked about it as well here, and we'll, I'll come back to the metaphor for the series of Kintsugi.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So you're doing excellent work. You're putting a beautiful ripple effect into the world to help people through their traumatic experiences to heal and to find new chapters in their lives. But if you could take one thing, and in our Kintsugi spirit help us reconnect and heal and potentially grow from it as a country, um, in that Kintsugi spirit, what would it be?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah, so I really like the fact that you used the metaphor of Kintsugi for the country. I focus Kintsugi at the micro level, at the individual level, and I think that some of the challenges we have in our country today, and in the world frankly, is we're holding and carrying burden from the past, and most of the time from not even something that we own in our own life, but something that has been carried from generation to generation.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And it's particularly true with this country, uh, with, with the whole history of the colonists that came on, on board. And that- What that burden that we keep carrying, we also keep transmitting it. So there is a need at some point to kind of break the endless transmission and the cycle. And for me, that means-- and that's how I use Kintsugi, that means taking care of yourself first.</p>
<p></p>
<p>You know, putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you help others. And that self-care really comes first, and it's a way for us to reground ourselves and maybe recreate the right roots In our neighborhoods, you know, starting with... It's grassroots, basically, right? Yes. Yeah It's funny that it, it contains the, the word roots.</p>
<p></p>
<p>If you can do it for yourself, for your own family, for your own neighborhood, for your community, then that ripple effect goes across and starts meeting the other ripple effects of other people, and then you have resonance. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I, I hear you. Um, y- you, as you mentioned, the really the trauma that carries forward from generation to generation, and a- again, I mention my ride across America.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But when you go through the West, and you go through the Mountain West, uh, as my route took us, you do learn, you do learn about what, what happened as we went westward in this country with Indigenous people. And of course, we know, uh, this, the story and the history of 1619 and the slave trade. And so I see those two, those two moments or those two eras in our history as, you know, two original sins of, like, extreme trauma that we really haven't, um, come to terms with.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And so we, we carry it forward, and then there's obviously things that happen, as you know in your work, within families and, you know, fam- you know, generations to generations. And so we have, um, as I would say, and I know you also have a reference to this, I think it w- with one of your retreats, is basically we have a lot of rocks in our backpack that we carry, carry around with us.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. And that backpack in 2026 is pretty dang heavy, and we, we need to do something to help, uh, remove some of those rocks or at least come to terms with the fact that we might be carrying them. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yeah. And the, and from the work that I've done on myself, um, coming from a history of childhood sexual abuse in my family and, and that impacted me personally, that burden doesn't hurt any of the people who hurt you.</p>
<p></p>
<p>That burden only hurts yourself, right? Yes. Yeah. And so as long as you continue carrying it, what I've learnt is that trauma is overcomeable, and it is possible to let go of the burden. Yeah. And that's what I guide as a Sherpa. I guide people to do so that they create the time and space for themselves to actually be able to manifest a better life.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Yes. I hear you. And it's such hopeful work, too. So speaking of your work, I've been asking people, uh, before each guest like, "Hey, do you have a question for the next guest?" It's a way to pass the baton from neighbor to neighbor. So I was just speaking with Dr. Mike from the Cleveland Clinic, so it just so happens he's in healthcare.</p>
<p></p>
<p>You're, you're in healthcare. And his question to you, he's from the great state of Ohio, where my youngest daughter lives- His sta-, uh, question to you is, "Hey, the work, Bea, that you do here in the great state of New Jersey, uh, around mindfulness and healing and Kintsugi and, and all that you do, uh, what are you...</p>
<p></p>
<p>what could you be doing more of to help spread that message within the state? </p>
<p></p>
<p>So I'm glad you're asking that que- I mean, that your guest asked that question. It's actually, you know, it's a learning curve for me as a solopreneur of about two years, that you have to talk about what you do, and you have to show the sign on the door so that people can find you.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I mean, you have to create the path through the forest so they, they can actually find you, and I'm still in that learning curve. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Sure. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I guess, interestingly enough, and maybe that's why I responded to your invitation, one of the things Claude told me in my co-work sessions is- Um, actually it was coming from someone else, but, um- Yeah</p>
<p></p>
<p>be on podcasts. You know? Okay. How about that? Get invited. Get, get to talk. Get, get to have people l- listen to your voice. Um, so I w- I will spare you all the challenges of social media and, um, and advertising and the, the three retreats that I've done so far, and the, the, you know, the monthly workshops that I host for free on, on the internet.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, it's, the challenge is the following: I think that in the context of self-care, walking the talk is very important, and one of the things that I do is I meditate every day, and I am very cautious as to what gets into my body, whether it's food, liquids, chemicals, or through your skin, um, sounds, news, videos, social media.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And so I have cut out most of my social media platforms, and I'm only keeping YouTube and LinkedIn for the purpose of the business, and sometimes I just wanna throw it out the window. So I think what I'll do more of is be there in person, connect in a network. I do a lot of business networking, but connect with people.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And one of my philosophy is to consciously and systematically think about healing the room, any room that I enter, so that regardless of who is in that room, they get good positive energy from me. And I trust the universe will bring that back to me </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. I love, I love your thought process, and I am with you.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I have basically deleted all my social media accounts. Actually, I haven't deleted... The, the accounts still exist, but I don't go there anymore. They're not on my phone, uh, except for LinkedIn and YouTube, and I have this frenemy kind of relationship with both of them. I can see YouTube as a great resource to get some instructional videos on how to put together an IKEA piece of furniture that's missing eight screws and, you know, like a hack for that, or perhaps a how do I fix my bicycle video.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Uh, but... And LinkedIn's good to connect with all my past, you know, professional colleagues, and obviously I found you through LinkedIn. But there are definitely some days where I just wanna blow all of it up and, you know, and just, just meet with, meet people in person or, of course, we have this great technology.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So it's a little bit of like holding two different thoughts in our head, in our bodies all at the same time and I, I try to use mindfulness to find a way to get through it. So I, I, I love what you're sharing. So what question, V, do you have for the next person I chat with? </p>
<p></p>
<p>So my question to your next guest is did you find your true purpose yet?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Ah. </p>
<p></p>
<p>And, and if so, if, if not, how long did it take you to realize what it is? </p>
<p></p>
<p>All right. I love it. I will definitely ask the next guest that very question. And V, thanks again for accepting the random outreach and being here and jumping on a podcast and the ripple effect that you're putting into the world and helping us, uh, become a more perfectly imperfect union.</p>
<p></p>
<p>So thank you very much. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you for finding me.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Can you imagine flying across the nation in a Cessna? What a perspective. Sounds like a really cool thing to do. I love her sense of adventure. I also love Beatrice's question at the end, "Have you found your purpose, yes or no? And if yes, how long did it take you to find it?" Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And as always, thanks for being here. Thanks for listening as we reflect on America in year 250. And as always, don't forget to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
<p></p>
<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>
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