A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflections on America 250 with Vanessa Bowen

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show here to support you in creating a meaningful life and becoming the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels. And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic, and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting as America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up our scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia. So 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're going to let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else.</p>
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<p>But here, I want to reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old. And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102. Because my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours.</p>
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<p>Others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country.</p>
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<p>And this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your fellow neighbors, take a healthy breath in and a slow, releasing breath out and get to know Vanessa Bowen.</p>
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<p>Hey, Vanessa. Good morning. Thanks for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you feeling today? </p>
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<p>Um, hi. I'm doing very well today. So yeah, it's a, it's a beautiful morning. </p>
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<p>Awesome. I know we talked before we actually hit record about how we got connected, and so it was a little bit of a random thing, so I'm really grateful that you responded to my message.</p>
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<p>I, I just love, um, what you're putting into the world and your energy, and when I saw your profile on LinkedIn, I was like, "I really wanna speak to them." So, uh, thank you for accepting a random request from some dude in New Jersey. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Well, thank you for sending that message. Um, as I said, I'm very thankful that you landed on my profile and we're having this conversation.</p>
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<p>Yeah. So can you-- Um, we're getting to know each other, but can you take a moment to introduce yourself, and, uh, where are you dialing in or calling in from? </p>
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<p>Yeah. So as a proud Navajo tribal member, I guess I'll start with my, uh, introduction in Dine bizaad, which is the Navajo language. Um, so yeah. Vanessa Bowen yéníshjéé.</p>
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<p>Sí'ná Jiníní'zí. Sásdée néel bashishchíín.</p>
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<p>So basically, uh, my name is Vanessa Bowen. Um, I introduce myself with my clans. Uh, basically in Navajo, we're a, a matriarchal, uh, society, so we identify ourselves in this world through the clans of our mothers. And I was born in New Mexico and calling in from Albuquerque. </p>
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<p>Awesome. So with Diné, I, I, I learned, I'm, I'm not sure if I have this right, but it means, um, the first part means high or up, and the second syllable is down.</p>
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<p>Do I have that correct? </p>
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<p>Diné. Yeah. So yeah, something like that. It has like an accent above the E. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Is it accent aigu? I kinda forget what the- Yeah, I </p>
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<p>think so. Yeah ... language. I think so. Yeah. </p>
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<p>Yeah, yeah. </p>
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<p>So this country is quite large, and I know that not everyone has, uh, been to every corner of it. So for those that haven't, uh, been in the state of New Mexico, what's something special about it?</p>
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<p>This is your chance to sell the, the area of, uh, New Mexico to other people. </p>
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<p>Well, I think there's a little joke between my friends and I that, uh, New Mexico doesn't exist. We are in Mexico. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Uh, because we kinda don't want </p>
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<p>people to know that we're here. Um, New Mexico is so beautiful, very multicultural.</p>
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<p>There's so many facets to the people that live here, and I find that that is what sets New Mexico apart from anywhere else because we have the 19 pueblos of New Mexico. We have the Navajo Nation and the Apache tribes here. So because of that, we have like a high percentage of, uh, Native American presence.</p>
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<p>Uh, but then there is also this intersection of, uh, Spanish colonialism that still exists, and- Mm-hmm ... a cool part of that is, like, up north, there is like a, a s- part of the state where, like, the Spanish that is spoken is, like, very, like, archaic. And so, um, it's really cool that that exists there still But yeah, it's a beautiful state.</p>
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<p>Um, there are areas where it's like foresty, mountainy, and then down south, you know, you have white, white sands and the Carlsbad Caverns. And so at times when you're driving, which seems like eternity, it kinda looks- ... like you're on a different planet, you know, like you're on Mars or something. So it's, like, really beautiful.</p>
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<p>Wow. Yeah. </p>
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<p>Very, very cool. Very cool. Thanks for sharing that. </p>
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<p>Yeah, totally. </p>
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<p>I know when I first reached out to you, you asked, like, "Hey, what, what, what kind of questions are you asking in these- Mm-hmm ... in these episodes?" And, um, somewhat mindlessly or very mindlessly, I, I sent over-- I did a cut and paste of the questions I've asked other people with a very, very much a, um, European-centric, um, origin to this country kind of, uh, uh, proposition, if you will.</p>
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<p>And, um, obviously, I've talked to people that have an immigration story, and I've, I, I've talked to people that have more of a story with, uh, this country and this land that starts with slavery. And so- Mm-hmm ... I, I, I did wanna, like, ask you too, like, what your gener-generations long ago, before it was actually known as America, uh, with this land, I, I was curious as to the, your, your family story, if, if you can share and just, just overall, like, your perspective with, like, the way I served up the question initially, which I apologize for, um, uh, because I wasn't really, uh, thinking, um, as I, as I did that cut and paste and sent that over to you.</p>
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<p>No, it's funny. It's fine. Um, it's really interesting facet of, uh, native culture is that humor is, like, a big part of it, so I was kind of, like, poking back in jest. </p>
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<p>Yeah, yeah. Um No, I, I took it that way. I was like, uh- Yeah. ... I gotta say, I, I, I thought it was really cool 'cause it was a playful, like, poke, a-and we w- hadn't really talked yet, and I thought- Yeah</p>
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<p>oh, oh, like she's even, uh-- they're even cooler than I thought, you know- Yeah. ... based just on the profile. So I, I definitely- Yeah ... appreciated that. </p>
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<p>Yeah. So it's interesting because, um, I used to work at the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center here in Albuquerque, and as I was there, I learned a lot about the Pueblo, uh, people.</p>
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<p>And they were saying, um, the language group, uh, predates anything. Like, it's, it's its own unique group. So they say, um, archaeologists say that it's because people have been there for a very, very, very long time, you know? And so I'm Navajo. Um, and so yeah, we've been in this area for, uh, a long time. I guess we have, uh, our language group is Athabaskan, which has some traces up north Um, I did introduce myself in my Navajo language.</p>
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<p>And so, uh, coincidentally, one of my clans is like the, is like a Zuni adopted clan, which is really interesting. So that just kind of tells me that my previous, you know, my ancestors was from the, uh, Pueblo of Zuni. So kinda cool to, like, know that that traces back through our clan names, right? And so I could say that I'm Navajo and Pueblo.</p>
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<p>And so just e- that in itself is just kind of a really cool way to place my... like, where I come from, where my ancestors come from. And so it-- I don't know. It just feels nice because this is my homeland, and I always tell people that I feel very s- secure and stable, and there's, like, this sort of energy that comes along with it.</p>
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<p>Like, I'm not necessarily, like, a spiritual person, but there is some spirituality when it comes to, like, relation to land. And so I deeply feel it here, and I haven't really felt that in any other places in the world except, funny enough, was on a bike ride. </p>
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<p>Oh. </p>
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<p>Uh, I was doing the AIDS/LifeCycle. Okay, cool. Um, and my first ride, we were along the PCH, and I was looking, uh, at the ocean, right?</p>
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<p>And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this big, huge rock formation comes into view, and I had this, like, feeling like, "Oh, wow, I feel like I'm back home." And it was near San Luis Obispo. So- Oh, yeah ... I'm just curious. Like, I, I talked to my friend, who is Chumash from California, and they were like, "Oh, yeah, that's a pretty sacred, you know, place."</p>
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<p>And so I was like, "Oh, okay, totally. I, I feel that, whatever that might be." But yeah, it was really cool. So I felt that there on a bike ride, coincidentally. </p>
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<p>Oh, that's very cool. Yeah, there's, um- Yeah ... I-- when I rode my bike across the country, I, I had, like, different moments, like, feeling, like, really grounded. Uh, and, and knowing that I'd never been to that part of the country was, is, was sort of awe-inspiring.</p>
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<p>So to travel some of the back roads, 'cause I was mainly on back roads as I went from Oregon to DC. So I- Nice ... you know, the, your story, I can, I can, I can feel it. I c- like, I, I've... N-not in the way that you did, but, like, I can f- I had moments- Yeah ... of that type of feeling. And so very cool. </p>
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<p>It's actually really nice and, and I welcome that feeling, honestly.</p>
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<p>So I think there is this, like, endless pursuit of wanting to travel and wanting to experience it by bike, yeah. </p>
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<p>Yeah. No, I think, um, the world would be better if we had, um, more bikes on the road. People could actually, it- Yeah ... really experience- Honestly ... their area or travel Because we're s- going so quickly in our cars and our planes and trains, and we miss things.</p>
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<p>And so the bicycle is this like, I, I think this middle ground. And, and so it's not walking. Obviously, you can capture a lot through a hike or a walk, but a bicycle allows you to travel with a little bit greater ease, I believe. Yeah. Uh, longer distances, but not going so quickly, and so you can take in your surroundings and, and the nature and the people around you a little bit better.</p>
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<p>Well, at least that's my story, and I'm sort of sticking to it, so </p>
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<p>No, I one, 100% I feel the same way. Yeah, you could cover large distances a lot faster Um, you do capture those little moments. You know, you could see wildlife if you, uh, just look for it, you know, and seeing the beauty of flowers and... Yeah, and you completely miss it.</p>
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<p>It's like a blur in a car. So yeah, 100%, I feel that. </p>
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<p>Uh, absolutely. So the other folks I've chatted with, s- this whole series has come up, you know, thinking about as a country, the country turning 250 years old, and I've asked people if they were with close friends or colleagues, maybe even people from other parts of the world, and they were asked what America means to them, how they would respond.</p>
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<p>But I'd be curious, how would you r- respond to that same question knowing your family's, you know, history and you being Navajo? Uh, so I was hoping you could share more about, like, that, that overall question. Like, what does America mean to you? </p>
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<p>Yeah, it's-- honestly, I don't view it in, like, the patriarchal or nationalist view of, like, America.</p>
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<p>I view it-- or American. I view it more from the lens of wilderness, if you will, because it's always, like, the land that creates culture. You know, it's like this connection- Yeah ... to land, and if you don't have that, you know, I could see how a lot of issues arise. You know, I have friends who are immigrants, and they always long for home, you know, that sort of thing and- Sure</p>
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<p>I am very thankful that, you know, I am from here, and I know where I come from and that my culture is still here and thriving and our language still persists. And despite, you know, the, the, you know, the pressures of colonialism and assimilation, um, you know, you are not a nation without a language essentially.</p>
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<p>So I don't necessarily view it as like, yeah, like American in the sense that most people do. Um, but yeah, the land, um, the life that it gives and how you build culture from it, you know, that's really kind of how I view it. </p>
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<p>Very cool. Thanks for sharing that. And, uh, w- with that, one of the things I've been asking folks i- in the spirit of Kintsugi and as far as connecting and healing, uh, repairing, you know, obviously in this country, there's a lot of tension, some would say a lot of divisiveness.</p>
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<p>I think we all sort of feel it to a certain degree, uh, a sense of being alone or loneliness. So when you think about what we could be as a collection of people on this land and where we are right now, if you could try to repair something in the sort of in Kintsugi way, uh, maybe not perfectly, but maybe in a, a meaningful start, what would it, what would it be?</p>
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<p>Well, I just saw Harrison Ford do the commencement speech at ASU, uh, Arizona State University. Oh. I don't know if you saw it. </p>
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<p>Yeah, yeah. </p>
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<p>But in his- No, I haven't </p>
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<p>seen it yet, but now I'm gonna check it out, yeah. Yeah. </p>
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<p>I guess in his speech, basically he mentioned indigenous people of like, you know Uh, standing up for marginalized groups, you know?</p>
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<p>And, you know, it was nice to just hear him put the, our, you know, and just speak kind of to our, my lived experience as, as being Native. I find that this country tends to have selective amnesia about its history, right? And I always view it as when you're a child and you do something wrong and someone, you know, tells you, "Don't do that," and or you goof up and then you make a mistake, you know, like the feelings of being called out, um, being told to do better, you know, the, the shame that you feel, if you will, or embarrassment.</p>
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<p>They're not really good feelings. And I find that this country tends to not sit with that uncomfortability of it all. And so therefore we're unable to like, move beyond it. I think if anything, we're just... There's a Hawaiian term that I learned from my friend, uh, Kevin. Uh, the, the term is called pono, which is like kind of about their cultural values.</p>
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<p>But pono means like being in right relationship with someone, you know? And so like- Ah ... it's coming to the table and having a conversation and being very real about it and, and just saying it like it is without this need to erase history or, um, revise it. Sure. Um- Yeah ... yeah, so just come to the table. Let's be honest, and like, just lay it all out.</p>
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<p>You know, it's kind of like the dirty laundry that we're hiding. You know, it's like sweeping the- Yes. ... dirt under the rug. But it, we know it's there. Yes. But it's like we have to come to that conversation, and we have to also, um... Yeah, 'cause it's just like this c- this history of this country is just, it's crazy.</p>
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<p>And so, and it's like we're not asking. You know, I think it's just the acknowledgement at the, at the beginning and sitting with that uncomfortable feeling of it all. Yeah. And then that's what will open it up towards healing, and I find that that's the only way forward, you know? </p>
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<p>I h- I hear you on that. I- in a mindfulness realm, it gets to acceptance.</p>
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<p>"Hey, it's like this." Mm-hmm. And I know I referenced my cross-country trip, but in the parts of the country I was going in, in some of the states, it was the first time I've actually been there. One thing that really came out of the trip, and we rerouted our trip. We were gonna end in Yorktown, Virginia, and we ended up ending, uh, uh, finishing up at the Lincoln Memorial.</p>
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<p>It was just me, and my wife was driving the RV that we called Maisie. So we were on similar roads, but we had different experiences. She was driving at a fas- faster rate than I was But what really became clear is that until we truly accept the, the pain in our history- Mm-hmm ... and thinking about how we, how we've treated the indigenous people of this land, and also just the 1619 project known as sle- slavery.</p>
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<p>You know, until we... Uh, just to name two, w- I would say original sins, if you will- Mm-hmm ... that we, until we truly acknowledge and accept, yes, this is part of our, our history, we can't heal. Yeah. And what I love about Kintsugi is that Kintsugi doesn't hide the scars or the blemishes- Yeah ... it paints it in gold and says, "Okay, this is part of, this is part of our, our history."</p>
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<p>Yeah. And so it, it gave me, on a personal level, a, a chance to celebrate my own scars, because I used to try to hide those from view. I didn't want anyone to see those. I wanted to sweep the dirt under the rug. And I was like, "No, I can actually embrace the scars," because they, they tell our complete story.</p>
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<p>And I think we can't get to a point of real Kintsugi and real repair until, as you mentioned, we fully acknowledge the, the hurt that we've caused. </p>
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<p>Totally. And then also it comes back to, you know, these treaties that are made and, and you don't make treaties with, uh, conquered nations. Um, that's- Yeah. ... one of these things I have in my retorts back to some people who come at me.</p>
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<p>Um, but if you can't honor that in itself, then it's like what's the foundation of this nation built on if you can't abide by your own laws? You know? So, like, think there, there's a little bit of irony in that as well. So I don't know. I find it I am just amused all around, honestly, 'cause it's, it's... I, I feel like I have my popcorn out constantly.</p>
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<p>And I think I have to have a humor about it because it's, like, some really- Hmm ... you know, like, tough conversations to have. But- Sure ... I'm at the point where it's like I have to forgive. I have to... You know, I've learned our history of our, our country, and it's hurtful. It, it was really, like, kind of, you know, heartbreaking.</p>
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<p>And despite it all, I chose to heal, to take, turn these, like, the trauma that my ancestors have endured and, like, basically have become a cycle breaker and looking out for, you know, taking care of me and my, my family, you know? So- Yeah ... it's really interesting 'cause I don't know. I don't know if you got this in my, if you went to my website and </p>
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<p>viewed- Oh, no, I did.</p>
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<p>Yeah ... </p>
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<p>I, I- Yeah ... back in 2015, '16, gosh, I forgot. I did a clap back hat to the MAGA hat. Yep. So </p>
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<p>it was MAGA. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Um- I loved it. Yeah ... but, but it </p>
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<p>was just basically turning that whole conversation and changing the rhetoric, right? And so- </p>
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<p>Yes. Yeah ... I guess </p>
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<p>I did get, for a moment there, I did get vitriol targeted specifically towards me, so.</p>
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<p>But yeah, it was like a, a, an interesting journey to go through. But then also I could just see... You know, honestly, there is hurt, not on our side, but also on the other, you know? So, like, I acknowledge that, and it's just like, like, y'all must be so tired. Like, it is weighing on you heavily, so can you please, let's start this conversation.</p>
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<p>Let's move past this. Let's make it right, you know? And it's like I'm waiting. We're waiting. We're patiently waiting. So yeah, that's, those are my thoughts. </p>
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<p>I, I appreciate that. I, I, I don't wanna speak for, uh, every, uh, white dude out there. Yeah. But, but there's- ... you know, some are, um, some are just ignorant and naive.</p>
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<p>Yeah. Right? </p>
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<p>They, they don't know our history. </p>
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<p>Yeah, totally. </p>
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<p>But others do carry the rocks of shame and guilt in their backpack, and it's- Yeah. Yeah ... a heavy load. And if we could just- </p>
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<p>Yeah ... </p>
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<p>uh, just empty the rocks- Yeah ... in our backpack. I, I share that a lot when I share my own story as far as, you know, having my big cycling accident.</p>
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<p>I carried a whole bunch of rocks in my backpack until the truck that hit me blew apart my backpack and I had to, like, rebuild everything. Yeah. And, and what a What a weight off my shoulders, literally and figuratively. Yes. And I think we, we carry that too as a nation. We sometimes we over-project like how amazing we are as a way to hide the pain that I think, uh, in private we sometimes carry some, or consistently carry.</p>
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<p>So yeah. So with a birthday coming up, the country will celebrate the birthday of 250 here in July. Mm-hmm. We usually make a wish, and so I wanna ask you, like, what wish would you have for this country, uh, the land as we go forward? </p>
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<p>As I said before, that word pono comes to mind, being in right relationship and, like, achieving and attaining that.</p>
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<p>Um, yeah, that's kind of my wish is that we get into right relationship with everyone else, you know? And I guess I, I should show you something really funny. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>So there's this Native American artist, his name is Steven Paul Judd, and I got this from him, but I'll describe it. It's, uh, it's like a toy packaging, right?</p>
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<p>And it says, "Unbroken Treaty action figure." But the funny thing is the action figure is, is, is empty 'cause it's- It's, yeah ... nonexistent. Yeah. Um, but yeah. Oh, that's so funny. It-- So yeah. Um- It says, "American except-exceptionalism not included." Included. So. Yeah. Yeah. So kind of like this. That's... Yeah, it says, "Collect all 500."</p>
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<p>So I don't know, it's just a funny- ... a funny joke. </p>
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<p>I, I do, um, I do appreciate, as we've talked about e-e-even when we first connected online, just the use of h-humor- Mm-hmm ... to diffuse a little bit of the tension as a way to, like, hopefully open the-- the way I'm taking it is open the door for a deeper conversation.</p>
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<p>Yeah. And I think that's a really great way to use humor. Yeah. So, uh- </p>
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<p>Yeah, exactly ... thanks for </p>
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<p>sharing that. Um- Yeah. I, I'm gonna find a way for us to capture that on video and- Yeah ... and maybe we can share it in, in some, in some way. So well, Vanessa, thank you for doing this with me. Thanks for joining me on this.</p>
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<p>And as we mentioned again before we hit record, one day I'll get back out to New Mexico with my bike, and we will turn the pedals together and do some gravel, gravel cycling, if you will. </p>
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<p>Yes. No, uh, count me in. I'm excited. Can't wait. </p>
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<p>Awesome. Thank you so much. </p>
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<p>Yeah, thank you.</p>
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<p>We are early into this series, but one thing I simply love is meeting people like Vanessa. I really appreciated her sense of humor and her wish of pono, which seems very aligned to the eightfold path of Buddhism. And of course, with pono, you can see the connection with Ho'oponopono, which is around making things right or forgiveness.</p>
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<p>And actually, I have a meditation on that theme on my Pause, Breathe, Reflect app. So I appreciate Vanessa's wish for this land and this country to be in the right relationship with pono. Of course, I think we all know that if we really want to come together, it will take more than just wishing. It will take action.</p>
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<p>And maybe that action starts with a conversation, a conversation that allows us to be fully seen, heard, and appreciated, or I would say loved, one human to another, even if we don't see the world the same way. I believe that 97% of people are good. There's a like-heartedness in that goodness. And if we lead with our heart, we can be open to different mindedness.</p>
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<p>That's how we can come together and form a more perfectly imperfect union. If today's conversation resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone you know. And if either you or someone you know would like to join me for a conversation, please reach out. And until our next episode in our Perfectly Imperfect Union series, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Happy birthday, America. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.</p>