A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Michelle Radney

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV </p>
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<p>and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two Springer Spaniels. And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic </p>
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<p>and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting. As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia. So 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.</p>
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<p>And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
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<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your fellow neighbors, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Michelle Radney.</p>
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<p>Well, hey there, Michelle. Thanks for joining me on this little series I'm calling A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you? </p>
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<p>I'm great, and thank you for the invitation. I'm excited to have a conversation. </p>
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<p>I can't wait to get into this with you. So for those that don't know, Michelle and I go way back. We've known each other for many years.</p>
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<p>We met in middle school- ... but really it's not middle school. It's actually in our corporate- Yes ... corporate lives. So for those that don't know you, Michelle, take a moment to introduce yourself and where are you coming from? Which state do you wanna represent today? </p>
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<p>Okay. Well, thank you again for the invitation, and hello to everyone who is watching and/or listening.</p>
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<p>My name is Michelle Radney. I currently am living in the beautiful state of New Jersey. As you said, Michael, New Jersey gets a bad rap sometimes, but I am originally from Phoenix, Arizona. And so I've only been in New Jersey for about 10 12 years. I think my math could be a little bit off. Um, but I am excited for the conversation.</p>
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<p>I am currently also a new to the podcasting world podcast host, and so this is exciting to join you and have a conversation. </p>
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<p>Yeah, it's a really good, like, uh, turn of chairs, if you will. For those that don't know, I was on Michelle's podcast when she first introduced it. It's awesome. Michelle's Seat at The Table, so you gotta check it out.</p>
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<p>Thank you. </p>
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<p>So Arizona, so we're gonna say you represent the great state of Arizona, not the great state of New Jersey. So in this country, it's a... Well, it's a big country, and not everyone's gone to every state. Yeah. Some might know Arizona for the Grand Canyon, but, like, if you've never been to Arizona, what is something special about it that maybe people don't know about?</p>
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<p>Well, things that I think are special are certainly the landscape, as you mentioned, the Grand Canyon. But one of the things that I think most people do realize is that it's certainly a warm state, a sunny state. But in a little bit of research, one of the things I realized is that it is recognized as the most sunny state, and in fact, 299 sunny days per year.</p>
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<p>And given that we're both in New Jersey, and the sun, while is out today, it has been a really crappy couple of weeks and a terrible winter, and so I've been yearning for the sun, and that's why I'm thinking about the sun- the Sunshine Valley of Arizona. </p>
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<p>Well, that's actually a good fun fact because the people I've spoken to from Colorado have claimed that they're the sunniest state.</p>
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<p>So I love the fact that there's a little controversy brewing here- Mm ... in the union. I've got the statistics. You got the data. You got the facts. And the other fact I'll share with you, the weather will change, as weather does, and it will once again get cloudy as we near the afternoon here in our beautiful state of New Jersey.</p>
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<p>So after we get done talking, get outside, soak up the vitamin D. I'm going to. So now I wanna place you in Arizona. Mm. We'll say it's nighttime. There's a fire pit. You got your family. You got your friends, some colleagues, some strangers. Sounds wonderful. And, and you're just, like, soaking in the Arizona night.</p>
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<p>And someone asks you, "Hey, Michelle, what does America mean to you?" How do you respond? </p>
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<p>Sitting by the fire is actually a really great example of having this conversation. I was sitting by a fire with my husband just a few days ago, and while we weren't talking about America, but what I would say for my, my response would be it's opportunity.</p>
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<p>And so growing up in Arizona, Phoenix specifically, I didn't grow up from or with a family with a lot of means, a lot of money. I was the first person in my family to go to college. And so what that represents for me is a lot of opportunity. Being an American and knowing just globally, um, what it means, education for not just, uh, women, but, you know, people of color.</p>
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<p>And in the United States, that's one of the things that comes to mind for me, opportunity. </p>
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<p>Yeah. That's come up in a lot of conversations, just the opportunity to be, be who you wish to be and advance and create a bigger ripple effect and all that jazz. </p>
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<p>Yeah. I feel the same way. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Each of us have, um... I think there's like 330 million of us in this country, but we all probably have our own definition of what, what America can become, like the ideal version of America.</p>
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<p>So when you, when you think about your ideal version of America and where we are right now, where do you see tensions or contributing factors, if you will, that, that creates the gap between where we are right now and who, I guess, who, uh, American can be? Who can she be? </p>
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<p>I think one of the biggest factors or where there's the most tension right now is trust.</p>
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<p>There's a lack of trust between one another. There's a lack of trust, uh, from our, with our government, lack of trust with, um, institutions in this country. Even when you think about America and other countries, trust is at an all-time low, and there's a lot of reasons for that. But if there was one, o-one major tension that I would identify, that would be it.</p>
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<p>Yeah. And I think-- 'cause I love how you, you called that out because I think with AI coming, and we're not gonna get into a big AI debate, if it's going to eat us and destroy us or is, is it gonna liberate us. But I, I think right now as people view content, eh, mainly through social media, through the internet, it's r- it's getting harder and harder to understand, like, what's real- Yeah</p>
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<p>and what is AI generated because the AI generated images and videos and such are getting better and better, and if we're going as fast as we're going, it's hard to tell, like, what's real and what's What's not? It's, like, really nuts. </p>
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<p>Well, it's not just the imaging, but how people use AI to express their feelings or emotions, or having it generated instead of being authentic.</p>
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<p>And so that goes back to the trust, because there's a lack of authenticity. Uh, what I tell my daughters, who are now almost adult... Well, they're adults, but as they were growing up- Yeah ... is that Hard for me to admit </p>
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<p>that. That's hard, yeah. Even for me- It's hard ... my girls are a little bit older. As you know, my girls- Yes</p>
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<p>are a little bit older than yours, and it's still hard. It'd be like- It's like they're my babies ... you know, like... Yes, exactly. Yes. </p>
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<p>But I would tell them, "You know, what you see, a lot of what you see on the internet is not real, and it's what people want you to see. And so don't try to judge yourself or your situation based on what someone else is showing or what someone else has, because many times it's not real."</p>
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<p>And, and many times the, the people or the images that they see don't create happiness. </p>
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<p>No, there's not a lot of happiness or joy as we scroll through. It's, hey, the engineers that have come up with the algorithm, they know what gets our attention. You know, they know human biology and the fact that we're- Yeah</p>
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<p>hardwired to, uh, pay attention to threats more, more so than goodness. And so there's a lot of fear, there's a lot of, um, comparison. </p>
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<p>Mm-hmm. You </p>
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<p>know, and almost like you're, you're s- simply just not enough if you don't have what someone's selling. And, uh, it's a hard, it's a, it's a hard way of going through life if we feel like we're always a step behind and we can never- Yeah</p>
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<p>really catch up. But they know that we have a desire to, like, try to catch up. '</p>
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<p>Cause we wanna see it. And try to </p>
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<p>chase the- Compare ... yeah, try to chase the cheese, you know? And, uh, the c- the cheese keeps on moving. </p>
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<p>Yes, it does. And try not to chase it. </p>
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<p>Yes. Who moved, who moved my cheese? All right, so if you could fix, though, if you could repair, in our Kintsugi, uh, metaphor, if you can fix something, maybe not perfectly, but m- meaningfully, um, what would you begin to work on?</p>
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<p>So you mentioned trust is a factor in our, our gap, if you will, from where we are now and our potential. Is trust something that you would try to, like, address, or is there something else that if you had a magic wand, you would want to address to help us step further into that great ideal of ours? </p>
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<p>Yes, trust.</p>
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<p>Um- And I think with trust is also love, not enough love. Ah. But in a bit more of a serious, um, tone, one of the things that I would work to repair, and I do my, my small part, is actually hunger. And I know that sounds like a Miss America kind of response. But from someone who, you know, grew up in an environment where, yes, there was, there was food, but I knew people who didn't have food.</p>
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<p>And as our economy continues to evolve, and, uh, and I live in a, a m- a m- a middle class neighborhood, but there is a food pantry where I live, and there are more people, more people in neighborhoods that I wouldn't necessarily suspect that are looking and need assistance and need food. And so when you look at the children that go to bed without food, there are a lot of them.</p>
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<p>And depending upon where you are, you don't see many of them. But it is a, a serious, uh, problem and challenge, not just in the world, but specifically in America. </p>
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<p>Amen to that. And in the richest country on the planet, we shouldn't have hunger. </p>
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<p>No. </p>
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<p>And you think about the, the people that don't have enough food, and, and quite frankly, the food that goes in the trash.</p>
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<p>You, you, you and I both have shared, as I mentioned up front, a corporate life together. Yeah. And it would, it would kill me. It would drive, it would drive me bonkers, the amount of food each day- Yeah ... that we would throw away. You know, people bring in lunch for a meeting or breakfast- Mm-hmm ... or a snack or whatever.</p>
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<p>So much food. Yeah. And it all goes to the landfill. It's just crazy. So you have this overabundance of food in some parts of our society, and then some people are just looking for scraps. And in the richest country in the world, I'm with you. I don't think that, that, that, that's something that we can definitely work on fixing </p>
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<p>We definitely can, and it's the small things.</p>
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<p>Uh, like for example, when we're checking out at the store, any market, like there's are oftentimes they'll ask you if you wanna round up or do you wanna donate a dollar. I always do, and recently my 20-year-old who's in college, she said that she does this because she saw me when we were at the stores, and so she, she always rounds up and she always, you know, will donate a dollar, and she calls it, you know, I'm being a Good Samaritan, but this is what she's realized.</p>
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<p>And the other thing for your listeners that's very easy, we- when you're going out and you're enjoying a meal with your friends and your loved ones, many times, uh, I will take food to go, and depending upon what city I'm in, if there is, uh, if I'm walking or if I'm going to a hotel, I will always take food to go, and there's generally someone unfortunately on the street, and I will just put my to-go food, my leftover food, next to someone.</p>
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<p>I don't ask them any questions. I don't bother them. If they're asleep, I don't wake them up. I just put the food down. And so someone will appreciate the food that we have that we're not going to finish and that we're, you know, they need. </p>
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<p>I like that idea. I've, um, I've done that in the past as well. So for everyone going out for a corporate dinner tonight- Yes</p>
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<p>let the boss pick up the bill. Let the company pick up the bill. Get it boxed up and give it to someone in need. So all this talk about food brings me to our next question. With America turning 250 years old, big birthday party, at birthday parties we have a cake. </p>
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<p>Mm-hmm. </p>
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<p>We also make a birthday wish. So this is a two-part question.</p>
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<p>What kind of cake, Michelle, are you serving at America's 250th birthday? </p>
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<p>I love cake, so I have to give a bit of a longer answer because I love cake. Um, it is my favorite dessert to have with a glass of wine. Um, and in fact, my wedding cake 25 years ago was actually a cupcake wedding cake before it was a craze- Oh, nice</p>
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<p>so that people could have different flavors of cakes. You're a trendsetter. I was. Not bad. 25 years ago. Look at that. And we had seven different flavors, but I'm gonna give you my top two. All right. Red velvet- Mm ... and lemon. Lemon. Those are my two favorites. Okay. And I make lemon cake. </p>
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<p>That's very cool.</p>
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<p>Someone's already mentioned red velvet, so we got two votes for red velvet so far in this series. Yes. And the first reference to lemon cake. That's- Really? Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Some people have overthought this question. They're like, "What, you mean figuratively?" And I'm like, "No, no, no, literally, what kind of cake are we eating?"</p>
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<p>Just cake. Yes. Just cake. All right. So as we're blowing out the birthday candles- 250 candles, so this is gonna take one major big breath. This is gonna take a while. So what's the wish you would wish for for America? I'm </p>
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<p>gonna take my breath, blow out the candles. I wish for love and trust and forgiveness.</p>
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<p>Mm. Yeah, forgiveness is a big one, right? So- I </p>
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<p>slipped that in. I never-- I'm not answering- Yeah ... just one. I have more than one- No, that's okay ... one word answer. Well, like, as I mentioned, there are a </p>
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<p>lot of candles. So, hey, love and trust, but yeah, for- forgiveness. Uh, there's... A lot's been said and done over the years.</p>
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<p>Yeah. And until we find a way to forgive ourselves, to forgive each other, it's really hard to move forward- Mm-hmm ... 'cause we just bring all that stuff with us, and we keep on re-adjudicating, refighting, rehashing it out, whatever verb you wanna choose. So I love the fact that you've, uh, woven in a little forgiveness.</p>
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<p>I think that's good, good for the country, good for the soul. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>So last time, last conversation I had, I spoke with Brian from California, and so what I've been doing is asking the person I chatted with before we're chatting to come up with a question that he would like to ask you. It's a way of connecting all our fellow neighbors to one another.</p>
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<p>So Brian wants to know, Michelle, what is something you're proud of about yourself but you rarely or never get recognized for it? </p>
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<p>Well, tell Brian... Well, I can tell you. Brian, that's a really good question. It's kind of a hard question. Um, but- It is a hard question, yes ... it is. So the thing that I am most proud about that I rarely get recognized for, and it's also because it's something that I keep to myself, and most people don't know about me, so that's the reason.</p>
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<p>Um, and it goes back to one of your questions earlier, and when I think about this country and I think about the word opportunity. So I'm proud that I have made it, uh, in my life and the, the happiness and the relationships and the satisfaction and even the success that I've had. It's not about how much money I make, but it's about the foundation that I have had and that I've built.</p>
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<p>And so being someone who Like I mentioned, I was the first person in my family to go to college, and I told this story recently publicly for the first time, that my family didn't have the money to pay for my college application. One of my really good friends from high school, her parents paid a $40 college application for me.</p>
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<p>I applied to one school, that was Arizona State. I got into the school because someone else helped and gave me an opportunity. And so for me, that's the one thing that I'm very, very proud of because I knew getting an education, getting a college degree, which quite frankly, in, in the world we're in now and the market we're in now, um, you know, it, it, it went a long way 30 years ago, but boy, today in our environment, it's very different.</p>
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<p>I don't tell that story very often because most of the people I meet know me today and the person I am today, but it's something that I'm, I'm very proud of and, um, I, I give that example to my children and to let them know that the world that they see and the life that they live today is not common, and they ha- have...</p>
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<p>They're so fortunate and so blessed, and so to not take that for granted. </p>
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<p>Ah, thanks for sharing that, Michelle. Yeah. That's a great ripple effect. Thank you. You know, like the person that paid your application fee and the person that helped you get in, and look at you now, like continuing their little ripple that they created in you, and now you get to- </p>
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<p>Yeah</p>
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<p>uh, do so for your, for your daughters, but the people that you come in contact with in your community and corporately. And so, uh, uh, yeah. Yeah. Thanks for sharing. </p>
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<p>Changed my life. </p>
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<p>Absolutely, it did. Yeah. That's so, uh, that's, you know, it's... That's what happens when we, um- We get to, uh, connect with each other so, uh, we can change people's lives and create a positive ripple effect.</p>
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<p>So next I get to talk to Cora from Alabama. So as Brian asked you a question, you get to ask Cora a question. So what question do you have for Cora? Okay, this </p>
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<p>hopefully will be an easy one for Cora. I don't know Cora, however, my question is what are you currently binge-watching? </p>
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<p>All right. Very cool. I will ask her that in a few hours when we sit down to record.</p>
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<p>To be heard, to be seen, and to be valued I can't wait to hear </p>
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<p>when this comes out because I'm interested, and I asked this question on my podcast, and I've gotten so many good, fun responses that my list of shows has, um, increased- Well, it ... in my free time. More </p>
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<p>time </p>
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<p>to wa- </p>
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<p>more time to stream, right? So I...</p>
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<p>Well, it'll be interesting too, like what she says now and then when this, when her episode comes out, like is that show still popular? I imagine it will be, but, you know. So, um, we, we shall see. Well, Michelle, thank you very much for joining me on A Perfectly Imperfect Union, and I hope, uh, the rest of your day unfolds with ease and grace.</p>
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<p>Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you for having me.</p>
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<p>I hope you enjoyed getting to know one of your fellow neighbors, Michelle Radney from Arizona, and I hope you'll check out her podcast, Michelle's Seat at the Table. And I love her wish: love, trust, which we desperately need, and forgiveness, which is something I've done other episodes here on Whole Again about because I had to really get to that place of forgiveness through my healing process.</p>
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<p>And I'll put a link or two to those episodes in the show notes. Of course, I think we all know that if we really want to come together, it will take more than just wishing. It will take action, and maybe that action starts with a conversation, a conversation that allows us to be fully seen, heard, and appreciated, or I would say loved, one human to another, even if we don't see the world the same way.</p>
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<p>I believe that 97% of people are good. There's a like-heartedness in that goodness And if we lead with our heart, we can be open to different mindedness. That's how we can come together and form a more perfectly imperfect union. If today's conversation resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with someone you know.</p>
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<p>And if either you or someone you know would like to join me for a conversation, please reach out. And until our next episode in our Perfectly Imperfect Union series, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. Happy birthday, America. </p>
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<p>And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about </p>
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<p>creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient.</p>
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<p>And celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience. Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this and we've </p>
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<p>got you.</p>