A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Laura Cross

<p> Hey there, it's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.</p>
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<p>The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two Springer Spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.</p>
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<p>Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.</p>
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<p>As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.</p>
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<p>There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.</p>
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<p>And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."</p>
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<p>We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to meet one of your fellow neighbors who, like all of us, is perfectly imperfect, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Laura Cross</p>
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<p>Laura, my friend, welcome to A Perfectly Imperfect Union. I am so psyched that you accepted a random outreach by some dude from New Jersey, and now we're here connected today. And how are you feeling? </p>
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<p>I, I'm feeling great. I'm feeling great. And thank you. I, I appreciate you reaching out. I- like I said, I think we can do more together than by ourselves, so I was happy to, to join.</p>
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<p>Yeah. I'm so psyched. I'm l- I'm really looking forward to our conversation. So for those that don't know you, can you take a moment to introduce yourself, and, uh, where do you currently live? What state are you representing? </p>
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<p>Yep. Laura Cross, and I am in Fair Grove, Missouri. I moved here four years ago from Colorado, so yes, I am in the Show Me State.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. Very cool. And, um, so in Colorado, where, like whereabouts in Colorado were you? </p>
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<p>Uh, I spent over 35 years of my life in Colorado, so mostly I grew up in Colorado Springs. The last 16 years I s- was out in Falcon, which is just eight mi- It's technically Colorado Springs 'cause they just won't stop.</p>
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<p>They don't stop building, so it's kind of all become one. But yeah. </p>
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<p>Very cool. Yeah. My oldest, my oldest daughter lives up in Denver, and a few months ago, uh, we did a side trip to, uh, Pikes Peak And we, we went up, uh, very high in the air. It was, it was like a spectacular view. So that's also a really beautiful part of the country.</p>
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<p>So for those that don't know Missouri, what's something that's really special about it that maybe people don't, don't know about since they've never been there? </p>
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<p>Missouri is known for their caves and sinkholes and- </p>
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<p>Oh ... </p>
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<p>I, I think in a lot you have to have a, a good sense of humor here, uh, which we finally got to.</p>
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<p>Been here for four years. I've always seen the, uh, billboards, and we finally went to the fudge factory in Uranus, Missouri. And, and it is Uranus, and when you go there- Okay ... they have the police cars that says, "To serve and protect Uranus" and- ... like I said, you gotta have a really good sense of humor, but I believe their fudge factory there is like a number two attraction-</p>
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<p>of- over Branson, but you know, over Silver Dollar City and stuff. But yeah. </p>
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<p>So that is very cool. So a big question though, is the fudge good? </p>
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<p>Oh, the fudge is good. </p>
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<p>All right. Okay. All right. </p>
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<p>Yeah, the fudge, the fudge is good, yes. </p>
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<p>That's key. So, you know, we all have bias, you know, we walk around with biases. So is there anything that people get wrong about Missouri that you've, you've experienced?</p>
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<p>I know you've only been there four years, but maybe they have, people have a view of like what Missouri is or what it isn't. Anything come up? </p>
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<p>Well, there's a number of things. I know growing up in Colorado, I never thought I would move here 'cause we always saw their plates that said Show Me State, and we felt we needed to show 'em how to drive properly.</p>
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<p>Um, but when you live here, it's really totally different. It's, it's a, it's such a different commu- It's, it's really kind of community. A lot of, um Just re- really well-meaning folks where, you know, handshakes and your word still means something. Mm-hmm. A lot of people will try and say that it's about 50 years behind the rest of the country, but, um, you know, it's peaceful.</p>
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<p>They, they pr- they appreciate their property. They're not looking for people to buy it up and just, like, build and, um, so yeah, it just depends. But </p>
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<p>Yeah, that, when I rode my bike across the country, I spent some time on the Katy Trail, so it took me into, uh, Jeff City and, um, th- through, uh, uh, you know, next to the Missouri River and it was like, it was like, it was so awesome and met so many, so many really cool people.</p>
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<p>So </p>
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<p>as we said- Yeah, O- the Ozarks are beautiful. So I'm- Yeah ... down southwest. I'm only an hour- Oh ... north of Branson, so I'm southwest corner. Um, so I'm down towards the bottom. But, um- Okay ... 'cause everybody's like, "Why'd you..." I was like, "I traded the Rockies for the Ozarks." I mean, it's still beautiful. Absolutely.</p>
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<p>We're plush, we're green, you got the rocks and- Yeah. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. That is awesome. I l- love it. I haven't been down into that neck of the woods, but it's, it's on my, it's on my list because Missouri, as a gravel cyclist, Missouri has some really great gravel cycling thanks to the Walmart family.</p>
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<p>So they, um, they've done, they've done a lot of good work, uh, there. So, um, so one day, one day I'll get </p>
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<p>down there. Yeah, there, there's a park right in Springfield where you go to the park and, um, you can walk around through the park and there's, like, caves. It's, like, right in the middle of town. Wow. You would not even expect it.</p>
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<p>So there's, like, caves everywhere, um, besides the fact that Springfield is the home of the first and original Bass Pro Shop. </p>
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<p>But- Oh, wow. I didn't know that. It, it, it, it, it is- </p>
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<p>That's another fun </p>
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<p>fact ... </p>
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<p>yeah, it is the largest one. It has all of the museums, the archery, the fishing, the hunting. Oh my gosh. Um, and a huge world aquarium where it has sharks and everything in it.</p>
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<p>They have a huge aquarium that's a t- they take up the entire city, pretty much the entire city block down there. </p>
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<p>Incredible. </p>
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<p>So it's, it's the original. </p>
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<p>Yeah, just going to a Bass- pro shop just normally, like in any given town or- Yeah, this one's a little bit- ... any given state ... a little bit more. That, that- Yeah</p>
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<p>that seems like intense. Holy cow. So let's say you're, you're there, you're amongst your people, you know, and, or maybe you're at a, a 4th of July picnic coming up, and people, um, you know, people there ask you, "Hey, Laura, what does America mean to you?" How, how do you respond to that question? </p>
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<p>Uh, for me, you know, it means the service, freedom, opportunity, and community, all of that together, 'cause to me it means honoring those who served and sacrificed so that others can pursue their dreams, find their purpose, um, and live with hope.</p>
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<p>I mean, I'm a veteran, so as a veteran and entrepreneur and a wellness advocate, uh, I think America's pretty much the greatest strength in, is its people. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>You know, they're res- they have resilient, they're resilient, they're compassionate, the willingness to help others rise. And so yeah, to me it's not just a country, it's really an opportunity to serve, grow, and, and heal, and create a meaningful life.</p>
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<p>Yeah. Well said. Well said. So with, with this country, we have, uh, obviously a lot of stories of like how our, all of our families got here if we weren't here originally, right? So we all have a, either a connection to the land or a immigration story to this country. Do you know much about your family's, like, origin story to, uh, to America?</p>
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<p>I don't know much about my origin story. Uh, I do know my father was military. I know his brother served in some form or another. So I come from a military family, so to serve, you know, have that honor and integrity, gratitude for what we have, um, the opportunity to be who you want to be has always been instilled with me.</p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>So, um, yeah, I d- yeah, I mean, I was ... When no- everybody asks me, "Where are you from?" I'm like, "Okay, where I was from or where I was hatched?" 'Cause- ... I was born in Chicopee, Massachusetts, but I spent first grade in Germany and second grade on up in Colorado, so, you know, kinda, you know, kinda went a little bit...</p>
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<p>I, I, I love traveling, so I loved visiting other countries and, and seeing what's going on as well as going across the States, so. </p>
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<p>That's very, that's very cool. Well, it, thank you n- not only for your service, but it sounds like your family's service. Like, we need, we need citizens, we need neighbors, um, like you, and, and the rest of your, your family.</p>
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<p>And i- the whole idea of travel has come up in some of my past conversations, just how travel can, like, really open up our perspective. We, we get to see, like, uh, different, different walks of life, uh, different countries. Uh, and then in a lot of ways, when that perspective is opened up, it helps us, um, not take what we have here for granted.</p>
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<p>And so I'm not, uh, um, and so I, I appreciate you also giving a little bit of a tip to the cap, uh, to travel. I think that's gonna be one of the themes coming out of this series is to encourage more Americans to travel this great country, but also travel outside the country 'cause then you can really r- get to appreciate what you have versus, like, what maybe some other people, um, might not have, even though we might be going through times that are challenging, uh, in one degree or another.</p>
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<p>So, and speaking of challenges Uh, current day, there's a whole bunch of debate. Uh, I don't think I can escape a day without hearing something about AI. Um, and everyone is in a camp, you know, like they're pro-AI people, anti-AI people. There are people who are dabbling with it. There are people who are worried about it.</p>
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<p>Uh, where, where do you stand as it relates to AI? I </p>
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<p>love AI. I really do. All </p>
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<p>right. Okay. </p>
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<p>Yeah. All right, cool. I, I, I love AI. You know, it's kinda like anything, though, if you think about it. I mean, pe- people were scared of technology and computers and stuff when it came out. It's, it's new. It takes use- getting used to, and I think it's like anything else.</p>
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<p>It can be used badly, but it can also do a lotta good. I will tell you, as a solopreneur that is wearing many hats, I have many businesses, and, you know, things go where I, I'm a, m- generally a positive, you know, person, but that doesn't mean things don't happen where it just- Sure ... maybe, like, drains all your emotion or energy.</p>
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<p>But as we would say, the show still has to go on, right? 'Cause I host Mindful Mondays TV show, so I'm not always on the top of my creative thoughts or so, you know, I can put kind of what I'm thinking in there. I've, I've built it so that it knows me, it knows my brand, it knows my show, it knows what I do. Um, and so, and you, and you do that by talking to it, right?</p>
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<p>Yeah. So it really kinda gets to know you. It's learning you, and so you get to know it, and then that way it can put my thoughts into You know, a, something that doesn't just sound like you're just sitting there stumbling or... It cuts my time down dramatically. I can come up with the titles, the descriptions, questions to ask guests.</p>
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<p>I mean, there's a number of things. I, I always read over everything it's gonna do. I'm never gonna just throw something in there and say, "Oh, well, AI said it, so it must be right. Put it up." Well, no, because it can get things wrong. Mm-hmm. Or it might use words that you don't normally use. A- again- Sure ... it's a, it's a tool, you know?</p>
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<p>It's a tool. It's no more intelligent than what you make it, so it's like computers. Yeah. It's, it's what you put in it, you get out. If you're gonna throw garbage in it, you're gonna get garbage out. </p>
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<p>And you're gonna get garbage out. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah. So I, what I hear from you is that it, it can serve really as a solo entrepreneur.</p>
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<p>You, you use it as a ideation partner, like going back and forth, which is a great use, and also just something to, to increase your productivity since you've got so much going on. It helps you cut some time so you can put a, as I'd like to say, you can put a bigger ripple into the world, which is, which is awesome.</p>
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<p>That's really, that's really cool. So, uh, thanks </p>
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<p>for- Yeah, 'cause e- even with- Yeah ... AI, it takes four and a half to six hours of work behind the scenes to put together each episode, and I not only do mine- That's a big lift ... but I do, but I do another person's TV show besides mine, and I'm also publishing his.</p>
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<p>So, you know, you double that up, and that doesn't count the other businesses and stuff you have to do. So if I didn't have it, it would take a lot longer. </p>
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<p>Yeah, you, </p>
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<p>things still have to sleep. And you'd have to, and you'd have to really be in the mindset to always be there and be, and do it. But like I said, life happens.</p>
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<p>Things happen. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, I lost my father three years ago. When stuff like that happens- Mm ... I am not focused on- No ... on, on what this needs to do. I, you know, I need- Yeah ... something to help. But, um, yeah, it's incredible what it can do. It can put all kinds of things together. It can help you with, you know, food planning or a- anything you want.</p>
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<p>It can gra- it just grabs all the information for you, so you don't have to sit there and go down a research rabbit hole necessarily. </p>
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<p>Yeah, no, I love it. Uh, thanks for sharing those perspectives. Those are, like... It was really cool to hear. Yeah. So I use Kintsugi, the Japanese art form of Kintsugi, as a metaphor for this series.</p>
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<p>It m- meaning that if pottery breaks- They can put it back together, and then we highlight those, uh, points of connection with gold. It becomes like symbols of our strength and resilience. So with this spirit of Kintsugi or this metaphor of Kintsugi, as a country, you know, we're, um, we're perfectly imperfect as the show states.</p>
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<p>Is there something that you would like to address, uh, maybe help us, uh, reconnect, uh, heal, grow, uh, bring us back together, maybe not in a perfect way, but in a meaningful first step? Is there anything that comes to mind? </p>
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<p>Oh, and I have to say, I, I love the name of that 'cause I know another gentleman that does Perfectly Imperfect Families for insurance, and I've told people- Oh</p>
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<p>I am perfectly imperfect. Yeah. You're either gonna resonate with me or you don't- Yes ... 'cause perfection is overrated, so I love the title. I'm right </p>
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<p>there with you, Laura. I'm, uh, like we're two perfectly imperfect people go- coming together here. Yep. </p>
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<p>Yeah. Recovering perfectionist is like- Yeah ... no, I'm perfectly imperfect.</p>
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<p>Yes. You either go or you don't. </p>
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<p>Yeah. </p>
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<p>Um, so I love the name, but yeah, for me, I, I think if people could just stop with all the labels, the judgment, and the stereotyping is a good place to start. Treat people- Yeah ... as the decent human beings that they are. I mean, you're not gonna like, you're not gonna agree with everything that they're doing or saying, and we're not meant to.</p>
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<p>But that doesn't mean we have to go out of our way to be nasty or put a label on them or, you know, berate them or put them down. They're entitled. It's their life. They're entitled, and I- </p>
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<p>Mm ... </p>
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<p>think that if we could bring more of that forward to just, you know, you can agree to disagree or you don't have to watch, you don't have to tune in, don't have to stay in the same room with the person.</p>
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<p>Just walk away. If it doesn't fit you- Yeah ... just, just walk away, but, um, you know, everybody's so hung up on labels and putting people in like some kind of box. It's like, just stop. They're people. They're entitled to their perception and the way th- and it's their life to live, so it's not yours. It's not yours to change.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. I, I love that phrase, um, we, we can agree to dis- disagree, and if I could, I would add to that We can agree to disagree without being disagreeable, right? We don't have to be a, a pain in the rear end. Uh- Right ... a pain in the, in Uranus. We- In Uranus. </p>
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<p>That's </p>
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<p>right. So, yes. So I like that. Like, just the, the, the whole concept of, like, letting go of the labels because as people, we're, we are so much more than just labels.</p>
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<p>You know, we, our identities are complex and far-ranging, and I think most people can find at least something that they share in common that they can agree upon. So, um, I like, I like what you- They can, </p>
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<p>but if we were all the same and, you know- Yeah ... what a boring world that would </p>
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<p>be. It would be, uh, yeah, it would be, it would be pretty...</p>
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<p>It, it would be pretty boring. So what's not boring is, uh, for most people, a birthday celebration. So with most, again, most people, during birthdays we have cake- </p>
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<p>Mm-hmm ... </p>
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<p>and candles. So the question I have for you, it's a two-part question. What kind of cake are you serving for America's 250th? And as you're blowing out the candles, what's your greatest wish for the country?</p>
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<p>Okay. I wasn't expecting though what kind of cake 'cause I- Yes ... try to stay away, I just try to stay away from cake 'cause all the sugar. </p>
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<p>Yes. Well, uh, the, the thing is, so it doesn't ha- you don't have to, you don't have to serve cake. I, I, I serve it up as a- Well, if it </p>
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<p>was, I like red velvet cake. We could do a red velvet.</p>
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<p>Oh We could do a red velvet cake. </p>
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<p>I mean- There's a lot of red velvet fans out there. Like, this has become, I think, the most popular kind of cake I have heard. Now some people have said, "I don't do cake." We had someone mention just a week ago, "We're gonna do a peach cobbler." Some people are gonna do pies. Um, but as a cake, I think, I think red velvet might be winning.</p>
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<p>That, that's, uh- I didn't realize we had so many red velvet fans out there, which is I think- Oh, if </p>
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<p>you have a, if you have a cheat day- ... </p>
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<p>really </p>
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<p>cool ... try, try a red velvet cake. It, it's good. </p>
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<p>All right. That's, uh- Yeah ... that's cool. That's cool. So as you're blowing out all 250 candles, which might take a while- Mm-hmm</p>
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<p>um, is there a wish as you blow out the candles? </p>
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<p>I would like to see us more united and ser- and supportive of one another all the time, and not just when tragedy strikes. We're, we're good at coming together and being kind when we've been hit by a s- by a tragedy. All of a sudden everybody gets the niceties.</p>
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<p>You know, everybody's not up somebody's rear on the roads. You got the space. People are kind. They're doing this. But then it seems like after two to three months we go right back to whatever, and it's like let's try to be more united and supportive all the time. </p>
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<p>Yeah. That second part to your statement, not just when tragedy hits, is so key.</p>
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<p>And I, I might be hyperbolic with this, but I think there is a tragedy... W- w- what's tragic right now is that we are, we are showing up for each other this way under normal conditions. Like, we, we... I think this is a bell ringer to say, "Hey, listen, how, how can we, how can we stop showing up during normal times like this and just do it, uh, do it in a better way just all the time?"</p>
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<p>So yeah, I love what you... I love that wish. That's really cool. So what I've done is I've asked the person that I chatted with before you if they have a question for you. Not maybe specifically for you, Laura, but just a general question. Okay. And then you get to ask a question of the next person I chat with.</p>
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<p>So the question for, from Maggie from Kentucky goes back to the early days of Zoom and the pandemic. And her question, this is gonna be a interesting one I think for you given your extensive travel. So if you didn't live in Missouri, but you could live in any other state in the union, where would you live?</p>
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<p>Hmm. I've lived in a few of 'em, and let's see, um- I hear a lot about North Carolina, so I, I would have to go with North Carolina </p>
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<p>Yeah. North... Well, you could get up to, like, near Asheville, and there's mountains up there, too. You got the Appalachia. </p>
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<p>I've popped in there, but I haven't... Yeah, I haven't- Yeah ... I haven't been in there.</p>
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<p>I mean, we, we, we've, we've popped in there. Yeah. We've been into Sh- we've flown into Charlotte and gone up to, uh, Bristol, you know, Tennessee for the go- good NASCAR races. So we go, we're, you know, we go where the NASCAR races are. Well, I- But yeah ... Br- </p>
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<p>Br- Bristol is, like, an iconic track. Uh, so that is, that is a good venue.</p>
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<p>Uh, obviously, um, I, I, I grew up, um, watching dirt car racing and amateur, uh, NASCAR. So, uh, I have... It's part of my DNA, so I know Bristol- I </p>
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<p>raced on the dirt track for five years, and we go to the, the, we go to the different NASCAR tracks- Mm-hmm ... and we watch. </p>
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<p>Your photo on LinkedIn is a, a little bit of what captured my attention, the juxtaposition of, like, "Here's Laura, Mindful Mondays," and there's a picture of her as a stock car driver.</p>
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<p>I'm like, "Oh, I think this is a interesting person to chat with. I have to reach out." So I- </p>
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<p>Well, I've driven cars is one of the, one of the things, one of the things in my, yeah, in my repertoire. </p>
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<p>Yeah, that's aw- I think it's awesome. So what question do you have for the next person I chat with? It can be anything under the sun.</p>
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<p>It doesn't have to be about America and America 250. Uh, people have asked, like, "What are you currently binging?" Um, it, it can be really anything under the sun. </p>
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<p>Okay. Um, then my question to them would be, um, if there's, you know, if there's something that you don't like, if you can control it, if it's within your control, okay, if you can change it, are you doing something about it, or are you just sitting back and complaining?</p>
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<p>'Cause- </p>
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<p>All right ... </p>
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<p>you know, 'cause if you can't control it, you need to let it go. Yes. But if it's something you can control, then don't complain. Are, are you t- are you changing it? Are you looking at it, whether it's something that's actually in your control, and are you changing it or are you not? </p>
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<p>I, I, I hear hints of the serenity prayer in that question.</p>
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<p>I like it. I love it. So control the </p>
<p></p>
<p>con- Well, we get so, we get so stressed out in life, right? And- </p>
<p></p>
<p>Oh, yeah ... uh, </p>
<p></p>
<p>a- and it's like a lot of people would have stressed out. We lost power for 11 hours 'cause lightning fried our 200 amp on Monday. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Whoa. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Um, okay, I got food in the thing. I had to reschedule a couple of meetings, but, you know, there's not much else you could do about it other than make phone calls to the insurance company or whatever you got and wait till they can come restore your power.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Absolutely. The planet still is, uh, turning as all that stuff is happening, so. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Yep, stuff will still be there when it's done. </p>
<p></p>
<p>Absolutely. Laura, thank you so much for joining me on A Perfectly Imperfect Union and putting your ripple, uh, out into the world. I so greatly appreciate you, so thanks for being here.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thanks for having me. I appreciate what you're doing.</p>
<p></p>
<p>One thing I really appreciated about Laura, and this came out in our conversation and the time we had before and after, is all the different things she's involved in. It's totally cool. Laura is busy, my friends. She's active. She's leaning into life. I love it. I also love her question. Really gets to the Serenity Prayer, which is actually a meditation you can find on my Pause, Breathe, Reflect app.</p>
<p></p>
<p>It's a great reminder to control the controllables and know the difference between what's in our control and what's outside of our control. So how about you? Is there something that you're trying to control that isn't one of your controllables? Let me know how Laura's question landed for you and share your response.</p>
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<p>And as always, thanks for being here. Thank you for listening and helping us make our country a more perfectly imperfect union. And I hope you'll check out the next episode of Whole Again. Until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.</p>
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<p>And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, MichaelOBrienShift.com and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.</p>
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<p>Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you</p>