A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Demetria Sloan

The Whole Again Podcast: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kinstugi Wisdom airs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Pause Breathe Reflect Microdose Meditations, Growth Mindset and Mindfulness Tips, to help us transform our scars into healing and resilience.

And between May and October, I'm sharing a new series I'm calling: A Perfectly Imperfect Union. It's about connecting with every day folks as they reflect on America at 250. Conversations will air every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

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What are you choosing every day: joy or the weight of the world?

That's the question Demetria Sloan leaves us with by the end of this conversation.

In this episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, Demetria traces her family's tangled American story, including a DNA surprise that revealed their earliest known maternal relative was a Native American woman, alongside deep European and African roots.

"We are as America as America can be," she says, and it shows in how she talks about the country itself: full of oxymorons, messy on purpose, home for better or worse.

Her birthday wish for America is radical empathy, recognizing the pain behind the bravado.

And her question for you and our next guest is:

How are you choosing joy each day?

Share your thoughts in the comments and share this episode with someone you love.

You can discover more about Demetria via her website.

And here's the YouTube link to the interview I referenced.

Finally, a recipe for Key Lime Cake.

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With Whole Again: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kintsugi Wisdom, listeners explore mindfulness and resilience through personal stories of trauma, scars, and injury while learning to overcome, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and perfectionism with self-compassion, self-love, and self-worth. Through insightful discussions on building resilience, fitness, and stress management, as well as mindfulness practices and digital wellness, the show offers practical tools such as breathwork, micro-dose meditation, grounding techniques, visualization, and daily affirmations for anxiety relief and stress reduction. Inspired by the art of kintsugi, the podcast embodies healing as a transformative process, encouraging a shift in perspective from worry and overwhelm to gratitude and personal growth. By exploring the mind-body connection, micro-dosing strategies for emotional well-being, and

Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.

The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic, and we were hurting.

Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic. Of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.

As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.

There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.

Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.

And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."

We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your fellow neighbors, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Demetria Sloan

Demetria, my friend, so good to see you. Thanks for joining me on our series here, A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How are you feeling today? 

Um, I'm feeling good. Uh, I thank you for having me. I, like, love our conversations, and when I got the invite, I could not deny you. Um, and I've been looking forward to it this week, but in full transparency, this has been a difficult year.

Yes. 

So, um, uh, uh, personal losses, um, but great jubilation as well. And so I've been in a lot of reflection mode this year. Hmm. And so I think this is a good time to even dive into a conversation like this. Yeah. 

I think that's great. That's great. You're, you're experiencing all that life is throwing at us- 

Mm-hmm

at this point in time, and it's a, it's a lot to take in. And for those that don't know you, can you take a moment to introduce yourself? And where are you calling in from? 

So I am calling in from Orlando, Florida, which I have lived now, um, I can't even believe it, uh, August will be 19 years. 

Wow. Holy cow. So- I can't believe that

yeah. I can't believe that either. So you probably remember when I moved to Orlando, Florida. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I'm, like, counting it up and so yes, it'll be 19 years that I have lived here. Um, I was born and raised in Louisiana. Um, that's where I spent my formative years. After college and graduate school, I embarked on saving the world and moved to Austin, Texas.

Um, and I lived in Austin for a good six years, met my husband, got married, bought my first house, had my first child. A lot of firsts happened in my life there in, um, the Lone Star State. Yes. And then I moved to, um... We moved to Georgia. Lived outside of Atlanta for about four years and, um, a lot of, you know, growing our family and a lot of things and then- Boom, boom, boom.

Here we go. The Here we go ... the last 20 years right here in Orlando. Yeah 

Very cool. So this is a big country, and not everyone's gone to every state. So for those that haven't been to Orlando or Florida for that matter, obviously a lot of people will think of Disney- 

Yes ... 

and think of Miami and Spring Break and that type of thing.

But what's... Besides that stuff, what's something that's really cool about the state of Florida? 

Um, so the whole thing about Florida Man is real. Um- If it can happen, it's gonna happen here. Uh- Yes. Very strange, awkward, weird, uh, unusual, but also magnificent things at the same time. Um, Florida is really a very beautifully diverse, uh, land, you know, and, and very rich in history.

And, um You know, it's one of the oldest, uh, you know, St. Augustine, go up there, learn that history, man. It, it has some great rich, rich history and, uh, landscapes that are outside of theme parks, that are outside of South Beach, that are outside of what people traditionally may think of when they think of Orlando or Miami or any other place.

Tampa, which is very much, you know, a hotbed right now and constantly growing. But there's some nooks and crannies. There's some great food here, which people don't think of Florida as a great food spot, but there's some really great restaurants around here. Yeah. 

Wow. 

So I'm a foodie. 

I, like, I, I would have to say that I don't think of Florida as, like, a foodie state.

Maybe you get a little bit of Cuban inf- obviously a lot of Cuban influence down south. Mm-hmm. But then I was like, when, like, near the Florida-Georgia line, like, what, what's happening? Like, that's my bias, you know, like- Uh-huh ... you know, but, um, and I've, you know, we've done the Disney thing more than once, and we went through Epcot, and it was like, okay, there's chicken tenders in every country, right?

So that was my, that was my takeaway. Every country has fries and chicken tenders. Yeah. 

And they'll 

charge you an arm and a leg for them. But, uh, that's good to know that there's actually a good, like, foodie scene in, in Florida. With all those cooking shows on Discovery or whatever channel it happens to be, I think every state's become its own little foodie mecca.

Yeah. Jacksonville has some great hidden gems and restaurants- Wow, okay ... and great food in place. All right. Like, it's, it's, it's amazing. And there are a lot of, uh, Michelin recommended, like, maybe they don't have a star. Yeah. They might have a, one or two stars here, but there are a lot of Michelin recommended restaurants in Orlando.

Oh, wow. So- That's pretty... Okay. All right. We're cooking. We're cooking with hot oil. 

Yeah. 

All right. All right. So let's say we're at one of these great restaurants that Florida has to offer. You're with a whole bunch of friends, some family Obviously, this is a big year for the country, turning 250, and they ask you, "Hey, Dee, uh, what's, uh, what does America mean to you?"

How do you respond? 

Ooh. 

This is a big one. This big- This is a big... Right? Other people have asked this question too. It's a, it's a big question. You can fill in the blank in a lot of different ways. 

I think for better or worse, home. 

Yeah. 

For better or worse, home. Um, as I said up top, you know, life has been having a lots of ups, downs, ins, arounds, highs, lows, all the things that life has to offer, and when you reflect on that, you realize, wow, that means I'm having a good, meaningful, big life.

Yes. 

Um, right? It, it... That's what that means, and I would think for this country, it, it's a similar thing. That's why I say home, 'cause that's what home embodies. Home embodies The best of us, sometimes the worst of us, sometimes highs, sometimes lows. Um, you have everything, and that's, that's the beauty of it because with joy, you have pain.

Mm-hmm. 

You know? On the... Like, if you think of it like a coin, there's two sides to every coin, the head, the tail. But to have courage, you gotta have some fear. 

Yeah. 

Right? The dark 

and the light. 

The dark and the light. It's all that whole yin and yang, the two side of coin, and that's, that's home. It's full of all of these oxymorons, and that's the United States of America.

It's full of all these oxymorons. 

It's filled with all of it, yes. And, and each family has its own story of America. 

Mm-hmm. 

Obviously, a, a big story that people tell in, through their family history is a story of i- immigrating to the country. 

Mm-hmm. 

Uh, but there are also families that were here long before it was a country or were brought over to help build the country.

Mm-hmm. 

So what do you know of your family's American story and connection to the, to the, this land? 

Yeah, so complex. 

Complex, yes. 

Complex. So I, my mother is very much into genealogy and research and the ancestry- Oh, okay, cool ... and the like. Um, we've done it with my father's family. And so it's a mixed bag. Um, I am one who would describe myself as a Black woman, but what does that really mean?

Because the whole, the whole race thing is a social construct, which I've been saying since I probably was, like, six or seven years old, and I got kicked out of many classes, um, arguing with my teachers over these social constructs, constructs that they taught us but that people really are embedded in. Um, but I'm okay with it because I'm okay with my lived experience as a Black woman.

Sure. 

However, I'll give you a story So my cousin decides to do African Ancestry. So I've, I've done my thing, got my report. My mom's done Ancestry. I did a different version. We did all these different tests to kinda see, like, okay, which one's really showing us what's real. Um, so my cousin did African Ancestry, and the thing about africanancestry.com, it tra- it traces mitochondrial, so it's the, your earliest maternal relative.

Okay. 

And so my cousin was like, 'cause we've been, she's been to Africa many times and was like, "Yes, I wanna learn this so when I go back, I can plan to travel and explore my African ancestry." And, uh, and so she sends us this message, and she was, uh, highly perturbed because the earliest known female relative we have is a Native American woman 

Oh, wow 

And

she's like, "Ugh" What's this? "Now what do I do with this?" Like- Yeah. ... because there is no... And we knew we had Native ancestry because, like I said, we've done some of the genealogy stuff. We were surprised when we did it with my mom, we were surprised at the percentage. Um, the h- the, you know, it was double-digit percentage, but also we knew very well because, um, you know, we had to tell our mother many times, "Mother, the light eyes do not come from the Native people.

That's your European heritage that you don't understand- Yes. ... that you have." It's like- ... you, I know you don't wanna claim it because it's not a great story that goes along with that European part of it, right? And so, um, so yes. So we found this, our oldest m- um, maternal relative is a Native American woman, so where do we start?

How could we even research that? What can we find? Um, we have, you know, a good percentage of European ancestry as well, and of course we have our African ancestry. Um, and so we are as America, as America can be. 

Yes. You got it, you got it all in you. 

All of it. 

You got all of it, and that's, like, definitely coming up as a theme in our conversation is, like, life be life-ing, baby.

Like, all of it. It's complicated, 

it's messy. And, and the thing that gets me so much, and it still gets me, Michael, is, like, I don't understand why people are so wedded. I get tribalism and all that culture. I don't get why people are so still wedded to these systems, because whenever humans mix, babies are born.

I'll just say it that way. I'll keep it- Yeah. ... keep it clean version. Keep the clean version. We'll keep it 

PG. 

Yeah. 

Even though the show is, has an expletive rating by Apple. So- Oh, wow. Okay ... but we'll keep it clean for this Friday morning as we sit here and record. 

And so it's like, you know, that's why you can find people of different hues and shades anytime, you know, if you study- Yeah, Marco Polo was all up and through with Genghis Khan, and guess what?

People were mixing. So if people were mixing- 

Yeah, people, yeah. Boots, boots were banging back then. Like, things, like, things happen, you know? Throw back a couple glasses of mead or whatever- ... and it's just like you never know what's gonna happen. 

So- And so you have all of the we have- 

We have all of it, yeah

all of it. 

And so- It's m- it's messy 

It's messy. Yeah. It's messy, and it's, it's designed to be messy in a way, and so we, we fight the messiness. We just want the goodness. But if we can let go of the grip a bit, uh, well, maybe we open, maybe we open up to the messiness, and it's, you know, it's, it makes it different.

So one conversation that is-- seems to be happening every day is this AI conversation. And that's messy. So you have all the different camps from, it will liberate us, we'll have ultimate free time, it will des- and then the other camp, it will destroy all jobs, and another camp, it will destroy humanity.

Where do you sit- ... right now? This is a little bit of a audio, uh, audio history. We might play this back in 25 years and see, like, where, where AI is in our lives. But, like, where, where do you stand or sit right now in 2026 as it relates 

to AI? So I, I definitely use a variety of AI tools. So the A- I think of AI as a spectrum, right?

So we have to understand that it has been in our lives for many, many, many years. We just were not- Sure ... calling it artificial intelligence. 

Yes. 

Now, these generative AIs and these lang- large language model, all the technical terms, like, we're in a new phase of our use of, of computer technology and artificial intelligence, right?

But I think we need to realize that the artificial intelligence is fueled by human intelligence because it, it was created by the human 

effort- Yes ... 

right? And so that's the part that I think we miss. The intelligence is the human part. So let's remember that part. Um, I do believe that... So I'm of a generation, so I'm aging myself as well.

I remember the movie War Games, you know, with Matthew Broderick- Okay ... and- Yes, yeah ... even with, it's Ally Sheedy, I think, the two. 

I think it might have been Ally, yeah, but I- ... I'm not certain, but I know the movie. Good flick. 

You 

know the movie. You remember. Yeah, I know the movie back in the day, you know. So, um- 

Yeah.

And, and we were like, "And what happened?" The, the, the, the, the, the computer decided to do its own thing. 

Sure. 

Right? I do think we could get there, and we have seen some of the challenges For human existence with so much dependency on artificial intelligence. Mm. So there's a lot of talk about the, um, literacy rates- 

Sure

declining. There's, um, creativity kinda declining, uh, ingenuity. Um, so there, there are some... And our social connection. So here, this is the big thing. This is the thing that weirded me out. And so NPR has done these great series on, um, on their 1A show, and it's about, it was about relationships, and it was about sexuality.

And there was a whole episode on people's sexual relationships with artificial intelligence. And I was like, "Say what 

now?" Yeah. 

Yeah. So I was like, "Okay, we've gone too far-" "... in, in terms of-" So, so to me, though the implication for people, the, you know, losing parts of humanity and being able to be social and being able to engage with other human beings, the environmental costs, they are challenges.

However, as a small business owner or someone who, um, is putting together proposals or crafting messages, it, it helps you be more efficient. Um, and so there's some- It does 

make it faster, yes. 

Yeah. It, it makes it faster. Um, so- 

I hope the whole AI sexual thing stays on the fringe. Like, hey, if that's your jam, knock yourself out.

But to your o- overall point, I think it has the ability, and we've seen it happen, to atrophy certain muscles that make us human. 

Yes. 

From creativity to connection. There was a, like a germ of hopefulness. I went out to visit my oldest daughter in Denver over the past weekend, and she, she, she actually was overt about this.

She was like, "I'm not gonna put on maps," like Google Maps or Safari Maps. She goes, "I should be able to get around this town without GPS because I think it's- 

Mm-hmm ... 

I, I think it's weakening my ability to navigate." Yes. I'm like, "Amen." Like, I was like, "Okay, proud." A quiet proud father moment because I do think- Mm-hmm

an overdependence on technology weakens important muscles that make us human. So- Absolutely ... I love, love what you're sharing. So one of the metaphors for the show, or the metaphor for the show, is Kintsugi, the Japanese art form where pottery breaks, pottery gets messy, but we put it back together. We highlight the scar lines with gold.

They become symbols of our strength and resilience. So if you could take on just one thing in America that might feel broken or messy, and you could start to repair it, maybe not in a perfect way, maybe perfectly imperfect, but in a meaningful way, what would it be? 

One thing. Wow. 

Yeah. We ask big, hard questions here, Demetria.

That, that, that's, that is, that is a tough one, and I'm, I'm gonna try to find... I'm trying to think of one that's not so obvious like, oh, our politics. Um. 

Sure. 

I'm gonna say celebrity obsession. How about that? 

Ooh, I love that one. That one really speaks to my heart and soul. 

Yeah. Um- 

How we idolize celebrity and influencers and, like, just generally famous people.

We, we create, we create this thing, um, called celebrity And then we hold people hostage To our, our ideal or whatever we created about who they are in our mind 

Yeah, like how they should behave. Like we should be like- Yeah ... you need to be this way for me all the time. And then when we find out they're actually human and complicated, we're like, "What?"

Like, and you know, to add to the celebrity piece, I s- for my whole life, I don't get the fascination, like the obsession that people have with the royal family. So I grew up, I grew up in a time where, like Princess Di was a big thing, right? Yeah. So she was a humanitarian, and like, she, she was huge, right? Uh, we all know that.

But to this day, we're still fascinated by the royal family, which by the way, we wanted to leave to form this country. Like, I'm like, "Hello?" Like, did anyone get the memo or did that email go to spam or junk? I don't know. So I, I, um, I, I, I like the whole... So how would... Do you have any ideas of how you would, like tackle this anti-celebrity- 

Ooh

fix? 

Okay. So before I get into talking about how I would tackle it, I, I want to say a, a little story that was running in my head. 

Okay. 

When the... So 'cause you brought up the royal family, and this is the little story that was running in my, my brain. And I know families are complex and, 'cause families are complex.

Human beings are complex. But I thought how sad it was when the king and queen were here most recently, so King Charles and Queen Camilla. Mm. 

Yes. 

And I'm not paying attention. I was like how sad it would be to travel thousands of miles to come visit a country and not see your son and your grandchildren.

Yes. 

To me, we lost the plot. Because if we're not working to repair our relationships with those who are, um, most important to us or who we say are most important, 'cause most people say their family is most important to them. 

Absolutely. Yeah. 

I, to not do that work of repair and in a position to really be a model and an example to other families.

Like yes, it's messy. We've had these issues. Yes, this is the woman I was having an affair with, and my children know it now 'cause the whole world know it. Like yes, this is, this is our messy life. A sh- you know, like all of the things. But to be in the place that yes, you know what? We probably didn't treat your wife well.

But to repair. 

Yeah. 

Forget the titles, forget the thing. And so that's what I think we really need to do more of And I think it would help all of us, is to recognize that celebrity or title or a bank account does not define or determine your humanity 

That's a good start 

And that's how I would like us to fix it.

Just remember, we are all human beings traveling on this spaceship called Earth and trying to get, to get to the next day 

Trying to... We're all trying to figure the damn thing out as we're hurdling through space 

Yeah 

So with the birthday coming up, traditionally we serve birthday cake for a celebration.

So what kind of cake are you serving for America's 250th, Demetria? And then if you're blowing out the candles, what are you wishing for, for the country? 

Oof. You know, I like food, so I, like I said, I'm born in Louisiana, raised in Louisiana- Sure ... so all kinds of things. But have you ever had a really good key lime cake?

Not a key lime cake, but a, of course, a key lime pie. I didn't even know there was a key, key lime cake. Really? You're the first person referencing a key lime cake. I, now I need to do my investigation. 

Yes. Key, a good key lime cake, b- 'cause they are rare, they're hard to find, and they're not made a lot Okay Absolutely delectable with that good buttercream with some lime zest on top.

I just, mm. Yeah. I could, I could get down with that 

I, I, I 

could- And if I'm... 

My, my mouth is watering as you, as you're describing this. This is pretty cool. So- 

Yeah All right. So- I could get down with that. And if I was blowing out the candle, what would I wish for? 

Yeah. What would you wish for? 

Um, I think my greatest wish for us as a country is empathy 

Oh, yeah 

Is that we would practice radical empathy Empathy Because if we do that I, some of the things that we see or the movements or the things that we say that divide us or corrupt us, I think we would recognize, as I said earlier, these are just people who are trying to figure it out.

Now, their way of figuring it out I may not agree with, and I may dislike their way of figuring it out, but they're, this is a person actually struggling. You know, a lot of time I see some stuff or you hear a lot of, you know, bold bravado and rancid talk. You're like, "That person is in pain." 

Oh, yeah, that's classic.

You know, when you, when you, when you see a lot of it, you're like, "Oh, the armor's on-" Yeah ... and the pain, the pain is seeping through, or they're unconsciously or maybe consciously downloading their pain to others, and that feels good for them in that moment. But all it does is creates a ripple effect of more pain and suffering.

Exactly. And so, I mean, I think if we have empathy and practice those empathy s- practice our empathy skills more, um, and become more emotionally literate so we can actually name what we're really experiencing, um, we would do better, um, just day to day, you know? We would do better day to day. 

Yeah. Yeah. I, I'm with you on that.

I think Brene Brown referenced some research that way back, this is before the pandemic, that when you would ask an average person how many... Like, "Name as many emotions as you could, as you can name," I think I might get this sort of right but probably sort of wrong. 

Yeah. 

I think she said that people could name, like, four or- Yeah

maybe six. Four or 

six. Four to five. 

It's, it's small. Yeah. It's, it's small. And there's, you know, there's probably 250-plus different emotions. And so- Mm-hmm ... to expand our range- Yeah ... allows us to describe what we're feeling a bit better, and I think that allows us to connect in a more, um, a more- Meaningful way

a deeper way and a more meaningful way. Yeah. 

Yeah, absolutely. 

So we'll finish up here. So the last person I chatted with was Ken from Massachusetts, the great commonwealth. I'm gonna paraphrase his question. So his question is, do you think the best days of America are in front of her or behind her? 

It depends on how you define best or worse.

Yes. 

You know? Because the truth is, if we travel back So I'm 53. If I traveled back 53 years ago and asked that same question, some people probably would say, "Well, the best times are behind us." 

Yes. Yes. It all depends on your perspective, right? 

So. All depends on your perspective. So I just think, I think here's the thing.

We have no control over. It is gonna happen whether we want it to or not. It's about how we choose to live in that time, to invest in that time, and, um, experience that moment in the very present. And so I think America will be what we choose for it in the moment. 

I like that. What question do you have for the next neighbor I chat with in the series?

So what's jumping out at me, and then g- that shirt behind you confirmed the question, is how are you choosing joy each day? 

I will ask our fellow citizen, our next neighbor in the series, that very question. But Demetria, thanks for joining me on this. Thanks for the ripple effect that you put into the world and helping us form a more perfectly imperfect union.

I appreciate you. 

Yeah, thank you for your time. Thank you. 

Peace. Peace.

After our conversation, Demetria sent me a YouTube interview of her dad, which was really cool to watch. I'll put the link in the show notes. But she shared with me in her message that he is her example and a reminder that our best days are always in front of us. I so appreciate Demetria as a human, as a leader.

We had the opportunity to work together, and I love the fact that she always had a very high standard, which some people push back on, but she cared deeply. And looking back at our time together, she didn't receive the credit she deserved for being an exceptional leader, which she was back then and remains so today.

So I hope you picked up a few pearls from Demetria in our conversation, and I hope you'll check out tomorrow's episode of Whole Again. I have something new for you to help you step into the person you're becoming and create that meaningful life that you wish to create. And all this week, we'll have more conversations in our series, A Perfectly Imperfect Union.

But until then, let's remember to celebrate our scars as golden symbols of our strength and resilience. And don't forget to have fun storming the castle.

And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you