What is Ashley's professional background?

She has worked in national security and civil liberties before transitioning to democracy reform work.

How often does the Whole Again Podcast air?

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with the "A Perfectly Imperfect Union" series airing every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday between May and October.

A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Ashley Houghton

Q: What is Ashley Houghton's main question about America?

"What if we stopped electing boxers and started electing legislators?"

Q: What electoral reforms does Ashley discuss?

Proportional representation and ranked-choice voting.

The Whole Again Podcast: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kinstugi Wisdom airs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Pause Breathe Reflect Microdose Meditations, Growth Mindset and Mindfulness Tips, to help us transform our scars into healing and resilience.

And between May and October, I'm sharing a new series I'm calling: A Perfectly Imperfect Union. It's about connecting with every day folks as they reflect on America at 250. Conversations will air every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

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In the latest episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, we stay in Maryland and have our second conversation. Today it's with Ashley Houghton.

I love her question and how it frames her thinking of America: What if we stopped electing boxers and started electing legislators?

Ashley talks about America the way you'd talk about a beloved, frustrating family member, someone you love deeply even when they disappoint you.

She traces her path from national security and civil liberties work to her work today on democracy reform, and lays out her belief that structural fixes like proportional representation and ranked-choice voting could change who we elect and why.

To discover more about Ashley, visit her at FairVote.org

And her question for you and our next guest is: What are some tangible small things you're doing right now to build community and resilience where you live?

Share your thoughts in the comments and share this episode with one of your neighbors.

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With Whole Again: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kintsugi Wisdom, listeners explore mindfulness and resilience through personal stories of trauma, scars, and injury while learning to overcome, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and perfectionism with self-compassion, self-love, and self-worth. Through insightful discussions on building resilience, fitness, and stress management, as well as mindfulness practices and digital wellness, the show offers practical tools such as breathwork, micro-dose meditation, grounding techniques, visualization, and daily affirmations for anxiety relief and stress reduction. Inspired by the art of kintsugi, the podcast embodies healing as a transformative process, encouraging a shift in perspective from worry and overwhelm to gratitude and personal growth. By exploring the mind-body connection, micro-dosing strategies for emotional well-being, and

Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.

The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic, and we were hurting.

Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.

As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.

There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken, but we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.

Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else, but here I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old.

And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not. But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike."

We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me. So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your perfectly imperfect neighbors, just like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out, and get to know Ashley Houghton

Ashley, so good to see you. Thanks for joining me on this series I'm calling A Perfectly Imperfect Union. How the heck are you today? 

Oh, I'm just so thrilled to be here. Uh, I, I saw your message and I was like, "This is exactly what I wanna talk about all of the time." 

That's awesome. So- Uh, well, I am, I'm psyched for our conversation.

When I saw your profile on LinkedIn, I loved what you were doing. I loved the ripple effect. So I know a little bit about you through- the LinkedIn profile scene. But for those that don't know you, can you take a minute to introduce who you are, and also what state are you living in? 

Yes. Um, and that's an important part of my story, too.

So my name is Ashley Houghton, and I'm a chief program officer at Fair Vote. But more importantly, I am a, a daughter of Maryland, our great state of Maryland. Um, I like to say that I, I grew up just outside the local advocacy factory- ... and like any good townie, I, I became that when I grew up. 

Very cool. So for those that have not been to Maryland- 

Yeah

because we live in a big country, and not everyone has been everywhere, and I s- had spent, I spent the first part of my career down in DC, so I do appreciate Maryland and all that it can offer. But for those that don't know much about Maryland, what's something that's really cool about it that people might not know about?

Um, you're gonna wander through the state, and you're gonna say, "It's, it's gorgeous." There are so many beautiful places where you could put in a kayak. There are so many beautiful lakes. And my fun fact of the day is there are no natural lakes in the great state of Maryland. Those are all- Really? Yes. Every beautiful pond or lake that you have seen came after the hard work of many citizens here.

Now, there are lots of, you know, we have the bay- Sure ... and we have a lot of watersheds and rivers, but any lake, that's new. 

Yeah. That's pretty cool. That is a great fun fact. I love- I do love, though, I was s- speaking with someone else, uh, in the series that lives in Maryland, and we were talking about how diverse it is as far as, like, vibe and culture.

You know, you have the Eastern Shore. You have a cute little quaint town like Annapolis. You have Baltimore and DC. But you go out west to Cumberland, it's, like, a totally different vibe. You got the 'burbs. You got it, got it all there. And you know, you, you got, you got some good food, too, for all the foodies.

It's a good state to be a foodie in. 

It is an incredible foodie state. Um- 

Yeah ... 

I think it's part of the kind of melting pot tradition of DC and the surrounding areas, but, um, just in our, our own community. I know that when I went to California, the food that I missed the most was Ethiopian food. And being from- 

Yes

having lived in DC, I'm sure that you, you've eaten some injera. 

So, so there, there used to be a great Ethiopian restaurant in Adams Morgan back in the day when I was there. So like I, um, that was always a good place. Uh, Adams Morgan, for those that don't know in DC, is also like a really cool, just a good vibey neighborhood.

So, um, yeah, I love it. 

I actually lived there in DC, and I used to have to wander through the bachelorette parties to get home if I worked late on Friday. Oh, yes. Yeah. 

Yes, there were, uh, many, many a party. 

Many a party there, yeah. 

Yeah. Now DC is a little bit different, but in, in like still some really amazing ways, but you do have like all these different cultures coming together, so you get a lot of really great cultural differences, food differences.

It's like a... Yeah, it's a really... I think it's a really great scene. So let's say you're hanging around with all your Maryland friends- 

Yes ... 

and they ask you, "Hey, Ashley, what does America mean to you?" How do you respond? 

Yeah. Um, probably with a big sigh ahead of it. Um- 

Okay. 

I, I'm the daughter of an immigrant, first of all.

My, my mother is from Australia, and I think it contributes to my love of this country like a family member. It's like- 

Mm ... 

it's, um, caring so deeply about someone and seeing them as their own kind of individual- 

Sure ... 

where You know, occasionally she disappoints me, uh, and I always want to make her a little bit better, uh, kind of like a child or a sister 

Sure.

But I do feel intrinsically linked. 

Yeah. 

Yeah. 

I, I, I can appreciate that answer. You're like, you're, you, you see something in someone, and you're like, "You have so much potential." Right. "And, and, and I love you so much, but sometimes you just, you drive me freaking crazy because you're not leaning into your full potential, and I wanna be there to help, but sometimes I don't know how to help."

So and that can be joyous, and it can be frustrating. It can be all of that messiness that the country really is. 

Are you just saying that my, my career path has just been codependency?

I love, I, I love that. I love that. So even though that we might have times where we don't lean into our full potential, you know, when we think about our union and connection, are, are there times, though, that you feel connected to, metaphorically speaking, your fellow neighbor? E- even, even those that you may disagree with or have a different perspective of?

I have found that the hyper-local community can, particularly in a place that's as lovely and diverse as Maryland, is it is what, like, tests my sense of humanity the most and reinforces it the most. Like, anyone- Ah ... who lives in a neighborhood knows that when something is hard on a family or if they're witnessing hardship, that is where you can have the most connection and impact.

And when things go sour, like any rough HOA 

Yes. Yeah. 

Uh, you know, uh, I used to lament to my spouse, I would say, "Why, why am I working on human rights? Humans are awful. I should be working with animals instead," right? 

Yeah. Yeah. Like, life is pretty good except for the human part of it, right? 

Um, but that's when I felt most connected, is just kids playing in the cul-de-sac and- 

Yeah

reaching out. 

Kids, like, we have a house kitty-corner that butts up against our house, and they have a bunch of kids, and the bunch of kids have a lot of friends, and so they're... There's so much giggling and laughter and splashing. It's such a joyous sound. And I know that in our neighborhood, if there was a thing happening, like an, you know, a big storm comes through or whatever, uh, people would come to each other's aid.

But the guy down the street with his tree that's blocking the view, uh, to- Yeah ... have it be safe to drive in the neighborhood, at times I just wanna pull whatever hair I still have out of my head 'cause he frustrates me. But I know that if there was a, a crisis that either one of us was experiencing, we'd be there for each other.

So yeah. Exactly. It's a little bit- Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So, um, so I use the Japanese art form of Kintsugi as a metaphor for the country. I, m- I'm on a quest to educate more people about the beauty of Kintsugi 'cause I think it's, it can be a really apt metaphor for where we are as a country. So if you took Kin- like, that Kintsugi spirit, and if you could, maybe not in a perfect way, but, like, a first step way, help us come together, heal, grow, potentially, what, what's that one thing that you would focus in on?

Um, so for context, and for those who don't know, I spent the first half of my career working on national security and human rights issues and civil liberties issues, and I made the switch into democracy because I was kind of banging my head against the wall. And what I've come to realize is that there's this Al Smith quote that all of the ills of democracy can be cured by more democracy.

And I think nearly all of our challenges when it comes to polarization, the rise of political violence, this really demonstrable harm that we're seeing in our country- Uh, comes down to how we, uh, elect our leaders and our legislators. Where I fundamentally believe that We have been on this road where we elect boxers and not legislators, you know?

Ah, yes. 

We are so worried about the other guy that we need to elect a fighter to be able to protect our interests, not someone who can, who can make our lives all better. 

Mm-hmm. 

And I think most people's interactions with government, like I'm the daughter of a fed, my dad worked at Department of Energy for many years, and he always said, "Ashley, most people only know the government through the DMV."

Like, no wonder they don't trust it. Sure. Yes. Right? 

Yeah. 

And I think our politics have moved us further away from feeling connected to each other. So I believe that there are, are very specific, wonky structural reforms like proportional representation, um, and ranked choice voting, where if you're able to elect someone who has different incentives, they're just gonna do a much better job.

And that isn't a left right thing. It's a what if you, what if you elected someone who had the mandate to pass things that would help you and help your neighbor? 

I hear what you're saying as far as our relationship with the government, with like the DMV or like the DPW, like is- Mm-hmm ... is our trash getting picked up?

Is that pothole being fixed? Are like things- Right ... moving along and it just, yeah, feels like we're just, we're not getting like anything done, and that whole boxing analogy is really apt. W- but when you were sharing it, what came to mind was like WWE wrestlers. Yeah. 'Cause it's like, it's like, it's a, it's almost like a, like this theatrical show that's phony.

Um, but they're all trying to beat each other up and like at the end of the day, nothing really happens. 

Yeah. 

You know? It's just so frustrating. It 

is... I don't think it's a coincidence that our, our chief executive now, our, our president comes from reality television of a kind, right? The, The Apprentice being- Sure

like the perfect example of that. And I think because, and that isn't on him. That isn't on, you know, certainly, like reality television, though I, I have a hard time consuming it. I, I can only handle like Great British Baking Show. 

Yeah. Well, well actually, that, that is very so- It's so public ... I, I, I'm with you there, Ashley.

That's a very soothing show. Everyone is so s- like, sweet to each other and so supportive. It's like you just, you feel good about humanity after watching it, and you're also quite hungry 

Right. Yes, exactly. 

Yes. 

Um, I love The Masked Singer. I want everyone to be thrilled for everyone, right? Yes. Um, but I think when you feel threatened, your instinct is to try to protect yourself, and that's what these legislators should be But we don't elect people for that, right?

We- 

Yeah ... 

uh, so anything that I can do, even in my own admittedly kind of wonky, nerdy way, um, to try to make things a little bit better. Uh, I, I think it, it is the beauty of this country that, that we, we tend to adopt things when there's a tipping point of people who are ready for, for something better or, or worse.

Yeah. We, we feel the pain- 

Mm-hmm ... 

and then that wakes people up. 

Yeah. 

And sometimes we... Well, often, at least this is my perspective, we over-correct. Right. Like we're hurting and then we're like, we're gonna throw like every supplement that we can buy ... at the problem when we probably just need to like leave and like that that would be good enough as a start.

Uh, so yeah, we're in this constant, we feel pain, we over-correct, there's pain, we the pendulum swings another way. We, um, but hopefully we can find a way where we, we can be reasonable in the, in the middle to g- to get some stuff done to help us come together. 'Cause there w- will always be edges of pain or- Right

extremism, but hopefully we can see the humanity that's in the middle. 

And work with folks in the extreme, too. I think, I think that's- Sure. Yeah ... the thing. It, it's, um, there's this assumption that if I just win harder, everything will land into place, right? And it just doesn't work that way. It turns out we're all on this little pale blue dot together.

Yeah. Trying to figure it out. 

And winning harder isn't working. 

No, no. It certainly, it s- it certainly isn't. Yeah. So in this series I've been asking the person, uh, before you a question, and from the previous guest. So the last person I chatted with was Heather, and her question to you is, if you could sit down with someone from the past, current, future, it could be fiction, nonfiction, w- whatever.

It could be coffee, it could be tea, it could be your favorite smoothie. Like, uh, who would it be? 

Yeah. Um, well, I think like a good number of millennials, uh, my career path was really set by, uh, a man named C- uh, Aaron Sorkin, uh, who wrote- ... The West Wing, which is not- 

Yes ... like, 

like I need to underscore, not realistic, uh-

and not, not a, not an accurate depiction of how government works. But I do find myself on late nights working on a memo or responding to, you know, some crisis and just wishing Leo McGarry were there. Um, and so if I, if I could s- I'm sure John Spencer would also be just the actor who played him. I would, I would also love- Sure

to have dinner with him. Um, and I did once pass Aaron Sorkin in the street, and immediately- Oh ... wept, and he turned away. Like, this happens to him all the time. Right? 

Oh, that's awesome. 

Um- I love it ... but I, I think someone like that, uh, we... I miss having the, the s- the John Spencer-esque Leo McGarry, um, someone, someone who sees where the hockey puck is going and- 

Sure

has a sense of how, how things are being driven now. 

Yeah, I love that. That's very cool. All right, so what question do you have for the next person I chat with? 

Um, I wanna hear more about resilience through community. Like, what are some- 

Okay ... 

what are some very tangible small things that you are doing to build community right now?

Um, 'cause we all need those tips. I think even now post-COVID, we're still working to rebuild community and reconnect with each other in person and, um, and I will take all the tips that I can get, so. 

Yeah. Yeah. I will ask the next person that I chat with that very question. I'm with you. This whole series is, like, one little step.

It's not in person, of course, but it's different than a whole social media blast just to connect with people and, and see each other and hear each other's stories. So I really appreciate you, uh, joining me, Ashley, and thanks for the ripple effect that you're putting into the world. I really appreciate it.

So again, thanks for being here. 

Oh, I so appreciate it. Thank you for having me.

I love the fact that Ashley brought forward The West Wing. I loved that show, especially since I was living in Washington, DC at the time. And I love that she's doing some of the wonky work that's required to help us become a more perfectly imperfect union. And I did appreciate her fun fact about Maryland.

I did not know that. And her question about community resilience is key. I go out to companies and talk about resilience all the time, but the lens is really around their culture. So if we take that and apply it to our communities, the communities where we live and work and play, that's where we can start taking a small step to build resilience within our community.

So how would you respond to her question? Let me know in the comments. And as always, thanks for being here and listening in. I hope you'll check out the next episode of Whole Again and continue to listen to our series, A Perfectly Imperfect Union. But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.

And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and

A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Ashley Houghton

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