A Perfectly Imperfect Union: Reflecting on America 250 with Angela Arntz

The Whole Again Podcast: Mindfulness and Resilience through Kinstugi Wisdom airs every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Pause Breathe Reflect Microdose Meditations, Growth Mindset and Mindfulness Tips, to help us transform our scars into healing and resilience.

And between May and October, I'm sharing a new series I'm calling: A Perfectly Imperfect Union. It's about connecting with every day folks as they reflect on America at 250. Conversations will air every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

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In the latest episode of A Perfectly Imperfect Union, I travel to The Peace Garden State and connect with Angela Arntz.

We discuss how America's greatest strength is possibility: the idea that you can take a risk, change direction, and become someone different than where you started.

Angela makes the case for something she thinks we've forgotten how to do: listening to understand someone instead of just waiting for our turn to respond. You don't have to agree with someone to hear them, and that distinction might be the whole ballgame.

Her question for you and our next guest is:

If there were one person in the US you'd love to meet, who would it be?

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Hey there. It's Michael. Welcome to Whole Again, the show that's here in support of you creating a meaningful life and the person you're becoming. And I'm excited to share a new series with you that will air this summer as America turns 250 years old, which is still pretty young relative to many other countries across this big blue marble that we all share.

The series is called A Perfectly Imperfect Union. In 2022, I rode my bike across America from Astoria, Oregon, to the Lincoln Memorial. My wife drove our RV, and she had two co-pilots, Jester and Hope, two springer spaniels And when we did it, America was coming out of the pandemic and we were hurting.

Hurting from things that had happened prior to the pandemic, of course, going through what we all went through. And at that time, and this is something I still believe today, is that we were entering an inflection point. An inflection point for us to hopefully pause, breathe, and reflect on who we wish to become as individuals, as communities, and as a country.

As I pedaled across America, I wanted to share America's beauty with others, her natural beauty and the beauty of her people. And I also wanted to share where we were hurting As America turns 250, I believe Kintsugi, which is something we use as a metaphor here at Whole Again, is a perfect metaphor for where we are as a country.

There's so much beauty to celebrate, and we can also acknowledge that parts of us feel broken or are broken. But we can find a way to come back together, just like Kintsugi teaches us. And when we do, we don't try to erase or cover up where we have scars or blemishes. We highlight them in gold, and we celebrate them as symbols of our strength and resilience.

Kintsugi is called the golden repair, and in essence, we can see beauty in something that's perfectly imperfect. During this series, I plan to speak to at least two people in each state and the District of Columbia, so 102 conversations with real folk, as I like to say. We're gonna let the celebrities and the big influencers have their day somewhere else.

But here, I wanna reach out and talk to real people and listen to their reflections as they think about America turning 250 years old. And my hope is, is that you'll tune in to at least one, if not all 102, 'cause my theory going into this is that you'll hear different perspectives. Some may be aligned with yours, others may not.

But my hope is that you hear the goodness in your fellow citizens and realize, as Maya Angelou shared with us, "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. I've had the privilege of traveling all over the world and all over this country, and this belief is something that I hold deep inside of me.

So yes, I do believe that we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. So if you're ready to get to know one of your perfectly imperfect neighbors, like all of us, take a healthy breath in and a slow releasing breath out and get to know Angela Arntz.

Ange, my friend, thank you for joining me here on A Perfectly Imperfect Union, and thanks for accepting a random outreach on LinkedIn. So I am so pumped for our conversation 'cause I- we've already had one conversation that led into this one, so I know this is going to be good. How the heck are you today?

I'm doing great. Thanks for having me on your show. Yeah. I'm excited. As I mentioned, being on a podcast was kind of on my bucket list, and so when I got your note, it was very intriguing and You know, made me reach back out to you. 

Yeah. That's so cool. So obviously we've had a chance to get to know each other a little bit, but for those that don't know you, can you take a moment to introduce who the heck are you and where, where are you calling in from?

So my name is Angela Arntz, and I live in North Dakota, and, you know, this is... Yeah. Woot woot. 

Yes. 

Um, when I think about who I am, I am absolutely a people person. Um, I love connecting with people, and I've been doing a lot of that lately. I'm very curious about people, what motivates them, what makes them tick, and the experiences that have shaped who they are, and I, I just wanna learn from people.

That's a- that's awesome. And I think that's one of the, you know, obviously the, the driving force be- behind our connection, right? Just like- 

Yeah ... 

getting to meet, like, new people and get curious about them. And so I am curious about North, North Dakota because in this great country of ours, it's super big. I lear- I learned h- just how big it is when I rode my bike across it, and I know that not, um, everyone has been to North Dakota.

So for those that haven't been to North Dakota, what is something that's really cool about it that people might not know about? 

Okay, so I have a little bit of a story to share. So I think people really underestimate North Dakota. Um, years... I mean, and I've discovered that in all of my interactions as I've been networking with people all over the US and even internationally.

People, I tell them where I'm from, and they're like, "Where is that at?" But one of the things that I've was teased about years ago was the buffalo, as if they were roaming freely through the streets. And, and then of course, when people think about North Dakota, there's the cold, right? The polar vortex gets a lot of attention.

But what I think is really special about North Dakota is the people and the real sense of community. I can be standing in line at a store and strike up a per- a conversation with the person behind me, and before, you know, I get through the line, it's like we've known each other forever. And my sisters and I actually give my mom quite a bit of grief about this because-

my mom always has a story about someone she has met when she went to town and their story. Um, and I think that's pretty wonderful. How open people are here and willing to communicate with each other. Um, but don't tell my mom I said that. Okay. All right. You know, gonna take the edge off the grief we give her.

Okay. All right. Well, well, you, you can still deliver the, the teasing and the grief. Yeah. So is there, like, any type of battle between North Dakota and South Dakota? Or is it, or is it pretty friendly? 

I think each state bring- has very unique qualities. When I think about South Dakota, I think about the hills, and, you know, my favorite area in South Dakota is Spearfish.

We love Spearfish Canyon. We love that area. And actually, my husband is from, uh, his family's from South Dakota, so we... You know, I don't think there's a battle, um, but 

we bring- There's no battle. The, uh, everything is peaceful within the household. You can love- 

Yes. 

Yes ... you can, we can spread- There's enough love to go around to both Dakotas.

That's right. That's it. 

There is. That's the way, that's the way we, that's the way we l- we like it, so that's awesome. Yes. So, so let's say you're, um, you're hanging out maybe in town, you're at the market and people are gathering around. Everyone seems to know everyone else, and, um, someone would ask you, "Hey, Ange, what does America mean to you?"

How do you respond to that question? 

For me, it's possibility. And, and, you know, America Um, is not perfect. We know that. Um, we don't always get it right, but behind everything, there is possibility. And, you know, you can have an idea, you can work hard, you can take a risk, you can change directions, and you can become something different, um, than where you started.

And, you know, I've experienced that in my own life. Um, and another part of, about America that I think that is underrated or not talked about enough is that people wanna help people. Some of the most important things that have happened in my life have happened because somebody believed in me, somebody encouraged me, somebody opened a door, and somebody said, "I, I believe you can do this."

And so those moments change people. So when I think about America, I think about the people. 

Yeah. I love it. Yeah, when someone sees something that's, that's bigger than maybe how we're thinking about ourselves and is there to support us in that, that is such a great moment. And the whole idea of possibilities or reinvention, other people have mentioned it in the series, and so, so many people I've been able to talk to have changed careers multiple times in their lifetime, and they've, they've moved to different parts of the country.

Just this like, "Hey, we can do a fresh start." And, yeah, uh, we're not perfect, but, like, who's perfect anyway? As long as that we're trying to, like, come together and figure out how we get a little bit better tomorrow than we are today. So I think that, that's the key. 

And, and continuing to learn, right? Yeah.

And embrace those lessons that our lives have brought before us. I think that's something that's really important as well. 

Oh, abs- absolutely. Yeah, yeah, learning as, as we go. So I- I've been asking people About moments where they feel really connected to their fellow neighbor or to the country, even when we might be around people that might not see the world the same way as we do.

You've already s- sort of alluded to it, like, just moments where, you know, people saw something in you and really opened the door and held the door open for you. You know, we talk so much nowadays it seems like in the media about how divided we are, but I also know there are moments where we really feel, like, connected and- 

Yeah

with each other. And so do, do any moments come to mind for you where you, you have that sense that you might be with a group of people and you know not everyone agrees with everything that I, like, I agree with, but still, like, we're all, we're all on the same team? 

Well, you know, it's a, a really interesting question because when I think about it and where I'm physically located, I'm remote, right?

I live in the country. I'm not... You know, I've worked at a remo- You know, my career has been remote for, um, the last 10, 11 years. But ultimately, the people I have supported throughout my career, I've never met most of them. And so it's always been working and connecting with people through the phone line or in email or, you know, recently, you know, when video came around.

So for me, that connection is really having a conversation. And, you know, it's, it's fascinating to me that the US is big, but ultimately for me it doesn't feel big because I can reach across LinkedIn and say, "Hey, let's have a conversation. Let's just connect." Yeah, I 

know. Right? It's, i- isn't that, is it crazy?

Like, you can, yeah, in every little nook and cranny of the country, you can s- find still a way- 

Right ... 

to connect. It just takes a little bit of effort to reach out to say, "Hey, you know, you want, you wanna grab a virtual coffee or- 

Yep ... 

do, do something like we're, what we're doing right now?" 

Exactly. And I think that's where I feel most connected to people is when we're just having a conversation.

So, you know, it's something I've been really focused on the last several months, and I've just been having a blast connecting with people I've never met before, like you. 

That's so cool. I love it. I love it. So I use the Japanese art form of Kintsugi as a metaphor for my Whole Again podcast and also the series, the thinking being even when we feel, like, a little broken or fractured or separate, we can find a way to come together, uh, reconnect, heal, maybe grow from that healing.

So if you could pick one thing to start working on to help us heal, uh, maybe not in a perfect way, but maybe a meaningful way, what would that one thing be that you would like to focus in on? 

For me, because I have worked in the virtual world for so long, um, I feel that We have an, uh, um, opportunity to really improve our ability to listen to one another.

Uh- Not agree. 

Yeah. 

Right? But listen, and I think we've forgotten that you can listen to someone without agreeing with them. You can understand why someone feels the way they do without changing your own beliefs, and that's something... I mean, that's something I've learned as a leader. When you g- get past the position that someone is taking and understand what is beneath it, I feel like you can find more common ground than you ever expected.

Yeah, you can s- you can, like, simply talk about also just some topics that you might have some agreement on as a start, and then that's a way of building trust. Right. I... This, this was actually, like, a big part of my experience when I rode my bike across the country. So I rode in very, probably, uh, really just rural parts of the nation.

Uh, we avoided all the big cities. So it was a lot of, uh, farm country and the Mountain West. And as I got closer to the East Coast, we, we sort of touched upon some cities. Like, I was near Pittsburgh, but that was really, like, maybe the biggest city that I came near. And so I met a whole bunch of people in small town America, and they thought I was a, I...

They thought I was a little weird for like, they're like, "You're all dressed up as a cyclist. Where are you going? Why?" The whole thing. And, like I, I had a pretty good idea that w- we, we just had different, like, lived experiences. Like, they grew up in their state, and this is where they w- have been their whole entire lives.

And I grew up, you know, in Upstate New York and lived in Virginia and moved around a little bit, and that was my experience. So coming at it from, like, different lived experiences, of course, we might see the world a bit differently. But still, even with all that, um, we still had things that we could, like, share in common, you know, and still find a way to, like, laugh and laugh at each other and find...

You know, and, and that's the start, you know? It's, like, I think that's the start of a good conversation. But truly, like, that ability, Angie, as you talk about is, like, listen to connect and understand as opposed to listening to reply, which seems to be the way people do it nowadays, uh, especially online. We, we just listen just enough so we can, like, respond right away, you know, and tell you, like, what, what our opinion is in- in- instead of just taking in what the other person is serving up and Like letting them know that they're heard because I think we, and I know, I think you also feel the same way.

We just, we all have a desire to feel heard and seen, and when we, when we have that, that's where we can develop some trust. 

You're right. I mean, we all want to be safe. We want our families to have opportunities. We want to be respected, and we want to matter. And so those, all of those things are very universal.

And, you know, so I really feel strongly about being able to just have a conversation, a genuine human conversation, and be open to what you are hearing during those conversations. I would love to see that, um, grow more and be more common. 

I think that's a good thing for us to all work on. 

Mm-hmm. 

So speaking of listening, I wanna listen to your answer on this last question.

I've been asking people before you, like, if they have a question for the next, the next guest in our series. So, uh, so this question is about where would you like to go in the US, if you couldn't be, like, where you are now in beautiful North Dakota, uh, and maybe n- not places you've already been to, but somewhere else that you would like to visit in this country, where, where would it be and why?

Um, for me, North Dakota is always gonna be home. However, I am very adventurous, and my personal goal is to get in my RV and travel all over the United States. And, uh, and so I've, I... Because of the role I had in the past, I have had opportunity to travel to many of the states in North Dakota. Or, um, many of the states in the US.

Um, so I can't think of one particular area where I want to go, but I do know that my goal is to see all of the states eventually. 

I share that goal, too. 

Yeah. Yeah. I just got back from Wyoming- 

Oh, cool ... 

this past weekend, and we had the most fun. You know, we stopped as we traveled to Wyoming, um, in all these little towns along the way.

I found unique little stores and, uh, ju- just so much fun. And so I, like you, don't know that I wanna go to the big cities, but I wanna find those unique spots that bring a different perspective. So that's my goal one day. 

That's so cool. Where were you in Wyoming? 

Sheridan. 

All right. Yeah. 

Yeah. 

Cool. Yeah. I just, I loved, I loved our travel through Wyoming.

We went to Nevada City, Wyoming, I believe, and some other places, and that's like a, a, a recreation of the Wild West. Yep. And it was, like, such a cute little town and just, like, so many beautiful views. So is your RV one of those big honking, like- 

No ... 

Taylor Swift- ... on the Eras Tour kind of- 

No ... 

RVs, or is it a little bit more modest in size?

So we, I, my husband's a master certified RV technician, so we, over the course of his career, we've had every size motor home, travel trailer, and we have the m- the perfect Um, it's about a 23-foot Rialta Winnebago. Love it. It fits right into a parking spot. Um, it, you know, wherever you need to stop, and it has all the amenities that I need, and I, I, I can take it by myself if I want to, so I love it.

I love it. It's a great way to see the country. So what question, Ang, do you have for the next person I chat with in this series? 

I think if there was one person in the US that you would love to meet, who would it be? That's all I got. That's the best question I can come up with on 

the spot. I think that's a good one.

That's, that, the, the... I, I think a lot can be learned about a person based on the answer to that question, like who are they curious to meet? So I love it. I will definitely ask that question of the next person I talk to in the series. And I wanna thank you for joining me here and putting a great ripple effect into the world and helping us become a more perfectly imperfect union.

And I will say you did it. The first podcast is done. Now I'm going to be looking out for you to be on podcasts all over the country, and maybe one day, Ang, you'll have your own podcast. Who knows? Just 

never know what the future 

holds. Never know. We are c- we are a country, as someone just told me, of possibilities, so, uh, we'll see if it happens.

Thank you. 

Yeah. Thanks for being here. Peace. 

Peace.

It was so great to connect with Ange or Angela. I just love her idea of just coming together, having conversation. She's out in the middle of nowhere to many people, but it's somewhere for her. It's called home. And through the wonders of technology, she's been able to make so many wonderful connections.

It's so cool to see, and for her to share more about that. And this was her first podcast. I personally think she's a pro. She's a natural, and I can't wait for her to come up with her own podcast because I think it can be really special. And I hope you're listening to the rest of our series here because I've had the privilege of talking to some amazing folks in addition to Angela, and in their stories, I believe you can see or hear some of your own story.

The whole series has given me hope that we can indeed create a more perfectly imperfect union. And of course, I'll have new episodes of Whole Again for you so you can step into the person you're becoming and create a meaningful life. But until then, remember to celebrate your scars as golden symbols of your strength and resilience, and don't forget to have fun storming the castle.

And if you wish to learn more about creating beautiful ripples and how to prevent a bad moment from turning into a bad day, please visit my website, michaelobrienshift.com, and sign up for my newsletter called The Ripple Effect. And join us each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday here at Whole Again, and discover how you can heal, grow, and become more resilient, and celebrate our scars as golden symbols of strength and resilience.

Until then, remember, you can always come back to your breath. You've got this, and we've got you.

Key Takeaways

The Whole Again Podcast airs Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with meditations and mindfulness tips, and Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday with the 'A Perfectly Imperfect Union' series about America at 250.

Angela Arntz identifies America's greatest strength as possibility—the ability to take risks, change direction, and become someone different than where you started.

Listening to understand rather than waiting for your turn to respond is presented as a forgotten skill that could be crucial to bridging divides.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the 'A Perfectly Imperfect Union' series about?

It's a series running between May and October where the host connects with everyday people reflecting on America at 250 years old.

Where is Angela Arntz from?

The Peace Garden State (North Dakota).

What question does Angela pose to listeners and the next guest?

If there were one person in the US you'd love to meet, who would it be?

How often does the main podcast air?

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7:11 am.